Today Is The Day: How Following a Dream Led Me To Walk In My Purpose

I have two questions for you:

1. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
2. If money was no object and you could do anything you want for the rest of your life, how would you spend your time?

I’ve been asking people those two questions for a while now. I’ve noticed one thing: The two answers never stray far from each other. Here's my story.

When I was six, I wanted to play the piano. Every Sunday, I’d make sure I had the seat with the best view of the instrument section. They all excited me — the horns, the drums, the bass. But nothing excited me more than seeing Paul Atlas (our church’s keyboard player) glide his hands up and down the board. He never played a note out of place, and always looked like he was having the most fun out of everyone. I wanted to do that. I begged my mother to get me a keyboard, and on Christmas Day, I got my wish. I never quite learned how to play; but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with music. How is it made? What inspires our favorite songs? Why do we like them so much?

As time passed, new experiences expanded my taste in music. Each summer, I would stay with my grandparents in Queens, NY; where I got my first taste of Hip Hop. My uncle worked at Atlantic Records in the mid 90’s, back when CD sales were at their peak. He worked with artists like Brandy, Aaliyah, and even Junior M.A.F.I.A. He had platinum plaques in his house, and this really fly denim jacket with the Atlantic logo on the back. On top of that, he got ALL the new music months before it came out. I wanted that life.

When I was eleven, my parents divorced, and my mother took on a second job. I’ve always been pretty quiet, but that turned me off to the outside world. I spent most of my time watching music videos, and downloading a few songs a day via dial-up on Kazaa (Wow… throwback!). I fell down a Michael Jackson wormhole and memorized his first three albums word for word. I can still Moonwalk too.

When high school came, my mother bought me a laptop. The internet was my haven. My cousin and I found out you could buy sneakers for wholesale prices by ordering online from China. I sold a few pairs and used the profits to buy myself some recording equipment on eBay. At the time, I wanted to be a singer… but I just couldn’t get myself to sound quite as good as I did in the shower. Then one day on a whim, I tried rapping. I fell in love with it, but I was still pretty shy. That all changed when I got to college.

During my freshman year, I made music almost every day. I’d either rap over instrumentals I found on DatPiff, or beats my friends would send me. I would set the raps to a slideshow, and upload them as videos to my Facebook page and watch the comments soar. People were paying attention to me, and I relished it. I even got into “beef” with some of the other rappers on campus because, well, I was a jerk. In March 2009, I put a mixtape on ZShare and watched the download numbers like a hawk. 493 downloads in one week. I thought I was the king of the world, but my music lacked substance. I didn’t rap about anything important. It was just about being the most clever with a string of punchlines, while saying whatever I thought would get attention, no matter how vulgar or profane. I still cringe when it comes up on Shuffle in my iTunes. I took a break, and told myself I’d come back to it when I had something better to say.

I decided to focus on behind the scenes work. I taught myself how to make beats and started collecting vinyl. In 2011, I got a chance to work for one of my favorite music producers of all time. My first real taste of the industry. I traveled to shows and manned the merch table at festivals. It was great, but because I was still a bit of a jerk, I ended up burning bridges before they were even built. Though it was a ‘failed’ experience, that was how I figured out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I remember going to A3C (a hip hop music festival) in Atlanta and hearing 2 artists complain to each other about how much money they had spent with very little return. I remember thinking “I LOVE their music. They should at least be able to afford a decent hotel room.” My new mission was to help the people who made the music I love, make a living making the music I love. Now my work had a real meaning.

There was a girl at A3C who came all the way from Toronto. She worked for the same label I did, so when she needed a ride back to the bus station in Durham, I obliged. We talked about our experiences and she said to me: “If I ever get serious about this music thing, I want you to be my manager.” I didn’t have any management experience, just passion. But we took that passion and used it to guide her first 3 releases.

I wanted to take my passion and put some real experience behind it, so I enrolled in a Master’s Degree program in Music Business at Berklee College of Music in 2013. There, I was able to take classes online and learn about what it really means to be in the music industry. Armed with real experience and valuable connections, I signed my first official management client in 2015.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about the human condition. I’ve noticed we spend most of our childhoods dreaming about who we want to be. Then we spend our adulthood trying to convince ourselves that who we want to be isn’t good for us. We tell ourselves we aren’t smart enough. We aren’t rich enough. We aren’t athletic, or well spoken enough. We work harder at trying not to follow our dreams than we do in any other endeavor. Before we know it, we’re at the end of our lives and we have nothing to show for them. It’s a shame, because I believe that our innermost aspirations are God’s way of nudging us toward our purpose. I also believe that the work involved with following our dreams is what builds the character God is looking for in us. With the launch of KDMR Music, my aim is to break that cycle. If you come to me with a goal, I’m not going to give you a reason not to move forward. I’m going to tell you what it takes based on my knowledge and experiences, then encourage you to run purposefully in the direction of your dreams. I’ll tell you to Keep Dreaming, then Make Reality, because that’s what I was put here to do.

A lot has changed since I was a six year old playing on the piano, but my purpose was there from the start. I just want you to live your dreams. This is mine.

Brandon "BJ KICKS" Jackson just launched KDMR Music, a platform to help independent musicians build viable, sustainable careers. You can support the cause by buying a T-Shirt here. 

*This post originally appeared on Medium with the title "Today Is The Day"