Touching the Third Rail: Overcoming the Fear of Including Male Violence in Men's Health Discussions

By David Mandel, CEO, Safe & Together Institute

In recent years, public discourse has increasingly focused on the challenges facing boys and men—from lagging educational outcomes to rising mental health concerns and a perceived loss of social purpose. This attention has sparked two divergent responses: one that weaponizes these legitimate issues to attack women's equality, and another that seeks to address men's needs while supporting continued progress toward gender equality.

While the former response –the use of men’s issues to justify a reactionary attack on equality– is a major concern, I want to focus more on strengthening the latter response – addressing men’s health and well-being while at the same time supporting the rights of women and girls.  Since Norway's efforts around boys and men have been held up by many as a beacon of progress in the area of boys and men, I’m going to use recent Norwegian policy documents to examine how even progressive frameworks struggle to integrate discussions of male violence with broader conversations about men's wellbeing. From there, I will make some suggestions about how to move forward to strengthen the integration of these two efforts. 

The Dangerous Bifurcation in Men's Advocacy

The reactionary approach to men's issues explicitly frames feminism as the enemy. This perspective blames women's advancement for men's struggles, calling for a rollback of gender equality progress to restore traditional male dominance. Such thinking has become a dangerous pipeline to right-wing radicalization, particularly for vulnerable young men seeking explanations for their difficulties.

In contrast, progressive men's advocates emphasize that supporting men shouldn't come at women's expense. The Norwegian government’s Men's Equality Commission report explicitly states that "men and women face different gender equality challenges, and that it is possible to address gender equality challenges for all genders – without undermining the gains that gender equality policy have produced so far" (NOU 2024:8, p. 19).

Yet despite this stated commitment, progressive men's advocacy often sidesteps a crucial issue: men's violence against women and its implications for men's own wellbeing.

Norway's Policy Disconnect

Norway's recent policy documents illustrate this bifurcation perfectly. The Men's Equality Commission report comprehensively addresses men's educational, occupational, and psychological challenges but frames violence primarily as something men experience rather than perpetrate. It suggests that "much of the destructive behaviour must instead be understood as an expression of the problems of boys and men" (NOU 2024:8, p. 20), effectively positioning violence as a symptom rather than a cause of men's struggles.

Meanwhile, Norway's Strategy for Gender Equality 2025-2030 directly confronts male violence: "Men are overrepresented among perpetrators of violence, including domestic violence, severe physical violence in public spaces and sexual violence against women and children" (Strategy, p. 60). The Strategy clearly recognizes domestic violence as "one of the biggest obstacles to achieving gender equality" (p. 56).

These documents appear to exist in parallel universes—one discussing men's wellbeing without seriously addressing violence perpetration, the other concentrating on violence prevention without fully integrating it into men's health frameworks.

The Hidden Connections

This artificial separation ignores crucial connections between male violence and men's wellbeing:

1. Intergenerational Trauma Cycles: When boys witness their fathers' violence, they face heightened risks of developmental issues, educational challenges, and later violence perpetration themselves. The Men's Commission acknowledges that "Sámi men report that they are more often subjected to physical violence during childhood and adolescence than both non-Sámi men and all groups of women" (p. 22), yet doesn't explore how witnessing paternal violence shapes boys' development across diverse communities.
2. Concrete Consequences for Men: Perpetrating violence often leads to devastating outcomes for men themselves—including incarceration, homelessness, substance abuse, and family estrangement. The Commission notes that "men make up 93.5 per cent of the inmates in Norwegian prisons" (p. 24) without connecting this statistic to violence perpetration.
3. Violence as a Failed Coping Mechanism: Many men who perpetrate violence are attempting to manage their own emotional pain through control and dominance. The Commission observes that "some of the gender equality challenges affecting boys and men are linked to narrow gender roles that can limit men's scope for action and opportunity" (p. 21) but doesn't extend this analysis to how restricted emotional expression can manifest as violence.

Integrating Violence into Men's Health Frameworks

To create truly effective policies for men's wellbeing, we must stop treating male violence as the "third rail" of the men's health discussion. Instead, we should:

1. Acknowledge Violence as Both Symptom and Cause: Male violence stems partly from men's unaddressed trauma and restricted emotional expression, but also causes further harm to men's wellbeing through relationship breakdown, legal consequences, and continued trauma cycles.
2. Center Boys' Experiences: The Strategy recognizes that "Boys and men, girls and women must be involved in building an equal society with universal equal opportunities" (p. 10). Part of this must include addressing how boys who witness their fathers' violence develop specific vulnerabilities requiring targeted support.
3. Develop Integrated Interventions: Norway's Strategy mentions that "the Norwegian Directorate of Health has devised a national strategy for the health sector's work with perpetrators of violence or abuse" (p. 60). This approach should be expanded to integrate violence prevention into wider men's health initiatives.
4. Promote Healthy Masculinity Across Diverse Communities: The Strategy recognizes that "the interplay between gender and other factors that can lead to discrimination, for example, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and age, also plays a role" (p. 11). Violence prevention must be tailored to diverse masculinities rather than using a one-size-fits-all approach.

Conclusion: Breaking the Silence

The artificially separated discussions of men's wellbeing and male violence perpetration serve neither men nor women. Progressive men's health advocates must recognize that addressing men's violence is not just about protecting women—it's fundamental to men's own healing and flourishing.

As Norway, and other countries, continue refining their gender equality policies, integrating these perspectives would create a more holistic approach that acknowledges uncomfortable truths while offering genuine pathways for transformation. Men's health and the elimination of gender-based violence are not competing priorities—they are inextricably linked aspects of the same journey toward gender equality that benefits everyone.