This Trip Around the Sun was a Bumpy Ride

This day has arrived and I made it to 62. This year’s trip around the sun was a hell of a bumpy ride. And I honestly thought I might not complete this one. 

In late October, about 80 days into this trip around the sun, my appendix decided it no longer wanted to play nice. And rather than making noise that I could react to - it ruptured. Sadly, the rupture was mis-diagnosed in an emergency room, and 5 days later I was admitted to the intensive care unit at Vanderbilt Medical Center with sepsis. It was clear that this trip around the sun might not get completed. Thankfully, with the help of an abdominal drain, a few weeks of antibiotic cocktails (aka IV’s) and another month or so of oral antibiotics, the bacterial invasion trying to destroy my kidneys and everything else in their way were finally defeated. It was a terrifying experience.

I was scheduled for an outpatient procedure to remove what remained of my appendix in early March, but this rogue vestige of an organ had adhered to my colon and a more invasive surgery was required - an ileocecectomy. I awoke from anesthesia with a lovely collection of staples running from the bottom of my ribs to my pelvis - not what I’d expected to occur. Later that night, my body went into acute distress (atrial fib, falling blood pressure, loss of consciousness, etc.). Back to surgery where doctors determined that during the previous surgery, a portion of my colon sustained a tear. This surgery also required a “wound vacuum” at the incision site for the next 6-8 weeks (look this one up on Google if you have an interest in gross medical photos). Another 10 days in the hospital and a month being “home bound” with visiting nurses doing dressing changes to this massive open area that needed to now heal from the inside out…Nasty stuff. It was a sobering reminder that every day is a gift.

So nearly 6 months of this year’s journey to 62 was spent experiencing the medical system (or lack of a system) in a very personal way. I never imagined I might die at the hand of a rogue appendix - but I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one with such an experience (and many who developed sepsis didn’t survive) so I count myself among the lucky few.

So the day has arrived - I’m turning 62 - and I’m filled with gratitude that I’m still here to participate in this human experience we call life. This year has taught me some of my most important lessons: (1) the value of friends and family (who rallied to help me when I couldn’t help myself), (2) the gift of time (some of which I wasted in my youth), (3) what works well within our healthcare system (and unfortunately what does not), and (4) how deeply fragile and vulnerable we all can become in such instances. 

I am blessed beyond measure. I have survived this horrible ordeal, and I have successfully finished this trip around the sun. Now I begin another - and I’m facing it with optimism, with gratitude, and with determination to focus on what matters most. I’m planning to knock a few things off my bucket list, experience more of the world through travel, and make some structural improvements on how I spend my time. 

So here they are, Michael Burcham’s 62 life lessons... and more to come I hope.

This year’s Addition:  

• Go for it - be bold and daring. None of us are getting out of here alive anyway.

My previous 61:

• If you want something permanent, get a tattoo. 
• If want to feel pretty, a quick trip to Walmart does the trick.
• Some of the most beautiful things have dents, scratches and scars - including people.
• The little things in life turn out to be the big things.
• Your kids aren’t you - they need to make their own path.
• Religion that requires belonging and believing what you are told isn’t transforming. It’s a cult.
• God has a great sense of humor - just look around.
• Gratitude multiplies happiness.
• Don’t be ashamed of yourself, that’s your parent’s job.
• Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
• Speak even if your voice shakes.
• Showing vulnerability is not weakness - it takes massive courage.
• There is no common ground in fiction - don’t even try.
• We are more defined by what comes out of our mouth than what goes in it.
• Before you climb the ladder of success, make sure it’s leaning against the right building.
• Infatuation is not love. Know the difference.
• You are in control of your own heaven or hell. They form in your mind.
• It’s better to master one thing than to be just average at many.
• Narcissists make really bad friends.
• Art makes me happier than new clothes.
• You are stronger and more resilient than you think.
• Most of the people who condemn you in the name of God wouldn’t recognize him if they met him.
• Don’t marry someone till you watch them use a computer with really slow internet - it lets you see who they really are.
• Live life looking forward, learn its lessons by looking backward.
• A meal is nicer with red wine.
• I’ve outgrown some friends. That’s totally ok.
• Grey hair beats no hair.
• Revenge is best served cold.
• Music playing in the house makes me smile.
• Lying is not okay. Ever. It’s the worst character flaw.
• We all need a few guilty pleasures.
• Being a grandparent is way better than being the parent.
• I hope to never again set foot in a mall. Ever. Never ever.
• A “food court” is not food. 
• A mind is like a parachute - it doesn’t work if it’s not open.
• Drunks at parties are not fun. (Never be that person.)
• To become old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
• “Move on” is great advice.
• A genuine smile can also be seen in the eyes.
• Buying stuff doesn’t make the emptiness go away.
• Saying thank you matters.
• What works for me might not be right for you. That’s OK.
• “What’s your story?” is more interesting than “What do you do?”
• Fulfillment is the measure of success. It’s never about the money.
• Box wine is a sacrilege - in fact it’s the 8th deadly sin.
• There’s no dress rehearsal in life - you get one shot. Make it count.
• After 30 - few people change their behavior.
• You will fail if you are brave enough.
• Trying to out run criticism is a full time job.
• People are rarely who we want them to be. That’s not their fault.
• Confidence is inspiring. Arrogance is offensive. 
• Grief is love with nowhere to go.
• The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.
• An argumentative person is simply showing their lack of self confidence.
• Love heals - time doesn’t.
• Control is an illusion.
• What looks like luck is usually a lot of hard work.
• Make memories of moments. They sustain you after loss.
• The secret to success: Wake up, Clean up, Dress up and Show up.
• If you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
• Life is like looking for your phone - most of the time it’s in your hands.