The T.U.C.K. Method: A Simple Framework for Compassionate Thinking

Psst.  On your grumpier days, can you slip into high-horse, judgy mode? 

Into mono-me perspective?  (A.k.a. my way or the highway.)

I hear you.

It’s easy to do that, especially when emotions are running high and our gas tanks are running low.

We’re all kings and queens of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, says Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, in their excellent book “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.”

Meaning what you consider normal, natural, and right, is what is normal, natural, and right …. to you.

We’re highly selective in judging what’s normal, natural, and right (even though we don’t realize we’re doing it – we think it’s that way for everyone).

We judge others by our own standards.  

Except we don’t realize we’re doing that.  We think our standards are normal, natural, and right, and what’s more, the standards that everyone else has or should have.

In these upside-down days where it feels like gravity is going to stop working, I urge you to consider expanding your vision of what’s normal, natural, and right, using my T.U.C.K. method.

T = Thoughtful

• Use your head.
• Look at the facts.
• When someone is driving you around the bend, seek alternative ways to look at the situation, thoughtfully and analytically.

U = Understanding

• Continue to use your head.
• Use your newfound thoughtful perspectives to seek understanding.
• Now that you have the facts, look for different ways to wrap your head around what’s going on, why, and how.

C = Compassion

• Use your heart
• Where possible (‘cause let’s face it, not everyone is acting from a place of compassion, equality, and equity these days), treat the other person with compassion
• As Brene Brown says, try to wrap your head around that maybe, just maybe, they’re doing the best they can under the circumstances.

K = Kindness

• Now that you’ve used your head and your heart, it’s time for your hands.
• Use your hands and take action to be kind.
• Act from a place of concern and care and kindness.

Easy?

Heck no!

Important?

Heck yes.

Tuck in with the T.U.C.K.

Your head, heart, and hands will thank you.

For sure, you’ll gain a new perspective, and the contents of that big, beautiful skull of yours will be enriched.

Now go on and learn, laugh, and lead

Learn

• Try out the T.U.C.K. method next time you’re feeling stuck, in conflict, overwhelmed, etc.

Laugh 

• This is brilliant.  Talk about a very different perspective …. from an escalator.

Lead

• Speaking of head, hand, and heart, perspective enhancing is the foundation of my Life Lenses® assessment tool. Take the assessment now for free and take your T.U.C.K. method even further.

P.S.

• Have you heard the big news?! I’ve launched the Transformative Trainers Academy.  Curious?  Check it out. Share it with a friend or colleague. If you refer someone, you’ll get your first month’s membership for free!