Unlocking Sales Success with EQ
Steve Goodner, EQAC, VSCC, EQPC, CEQF
Transforming Potential into Performance Through EQ, Strategy, and Faith.
What if closing more deals wasn’t about techniques or knowing more… but more about feelings?
We’ve all heard the traditional sales wisdom: “Sales is a numbers game.” Call more people. Pitch more products. Follow the script. Work the funnel. While there’s some truth to the volume-based approach, it’s also increasingly obsolete in today’s complex and emotionally nuanced sales environment. Buyers are more informed than ever before. They can research products and companies with a few taps on their phone. What they’re not finding in their search results, however, is how you make them feel.
Story
I remember my first sales job. I was so excited to get out into the world and show people how I could sell. My first full time sales job was pharmaceutical sales. What I did not realize when I took the job was this was a sales job that demanded you stick to a script (something I can do but not my favorite selling style). I understand the reasons for that. You need to be promoting a specific product and representing it accurately and correctly. After a few months of moderate success, I realized something important. If a medical professional was going to give me some of their day, I needed to make that time enjoyable for them. They hear “pitches” from dozens of pharmaceutical reps every month. I reflected on how I could differentiate myself from all the others. Dropping samples and going through drug indications, while necessary, was not the most fulfilling thing for me or for the medical professional I was meeting with.
So, I started to practice curiosity with empathy. At that time, I did not understand emotional intelligence, but in my defense, that was before emotional intelligence was well developed as a science. I just knew that being curious and willing to care enough to listen was not just respectful, but highly engaging. I developed this approach over time. The results, I earned President’s Club (top 5% of Salespeople) with two different companies and Sales Manager of the Year with another.
My formative years in sales had a lot of ups and downs. I learned from mistakes and continued to practice my craft. As the years progressed, I found that sales skills are really leadership skills, especially in the context of the human dynamics involved in connection, trust building, and generating influence. These experiences and lessons learned have served me well in every aspect of my career. I now use that to equip others in sales and leadership excellence.
That’s where emotional intelligence (EQ) becomes your greatest asset. In modern selling, where competition is fierce and relationships are paramount, EQ is no longer a “soft skill.” It’s the difference between transactional selling and transformational influence. It’s the X factor that allows sales professionals to connect deeply, inspire trust, and influence decisions at an emotional level—where all decisions truly happen.
Emotional Intelligence: The Real Competitive Edge
When we talk about emotional intelligence in the context of sales, we’re not talking about simply being “nice” or “emotionally aware.” Emotional intelligence is a measurable, learnable set of competencies that equip you to understand and manage your emotions, perceive and respond to others' emotions, and navigate social complexities with effectiveness and grace.
It’s the sales edge that helps you move beyond scripted conversations and into genuine relationships. It gives you the capacity to recognize when a prospect is hesitant because of fear rather than logic, or when a no is actually a “not yet.” EQ is what helps you maintain your composure during objections, persevere through rejection, and stay engaged without becoming desperate.
In short, EQ helps you sell not just smarter—but more human.
The Five Emotional Intelligence Competencies that Drive Sales Results
To apply EQ in sales, we need to understand the five foundational competencies that make up emotional intelligence. Each of these competencies contributes uniquely to sales success, especially in high-trust, relationship-based selling environments.
Self-Awareness
This is where emotional intelligence begins. Self-awareness is the ability to accurately recognize your own emotions, understand how those emotions impact your thoughts and behaviors, and see how they show up in your interactions. For sales professionals, this means knowing what emotional state you're in before a call or meeting—and how that state might affect your voice tone, confidence, and presence.
For example, if you’re feeling anxious because you’re behind on your quota, that anxiety might lead you to rush the process, talk over the customer, or push too hard. On the flip side, being aware of that emotion gives you the chance to pause, reset, and choose how you want to show up. Self-awareness gives you agency in emotionally charged moments—and that’s a powerful thing in sales.
Self-Regulation
Sales is an emotional roller coaster. One minute you’re on top of the world because a client signed a contract. The next minute you’re reeling from a surprise cancellation. Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions, so they don’t manage you. It means staying calm under pressure, navigating conflict gracefully, and keeping your responses measured and professional, even when things go sideways.
For example, imagine a customer blindsides you with an objection late in the sales process. Without self-regulation, you might become defensive or try to push back too hard. With self-regulation, you can acknowledge the emotion, pause, and respond with curiosity and poise—preserving the relationship and potentially salvaging the sale.
Motivation (Intrinsic Drive)
High-performing sales professionals don’t rely solely on commissions or external rewards. They are internally driven by purpose, goals, and a desire to grow. This kind of motivation is powerful because it sustains you through the inevitable valleys of the sales cycle. EQ-driven motivation equips you to remain resilient when you’re not seeing immediate results.
Salespeople with strong intrinsic motivation consistently go the extra mile—not because they’re being told to, but because they’re aligned with a bigger “why.” Whether it’s serving others, solving problems, or striving for mastery, this inner drive creates sustained performance over the long term.
Empathy
Of all the EQ competencies, empathy may be the most crucial in sales. Empathy is the ability to truly understand and relate to the emotions, concerns, and perspectives of your buyer. It goes beyond “I hear you” to “I get you.” It helps you tune into what your buyer is really saying—not just the words, but the emotions behind the words.
Empathy transforms the sales process from pitching to partnering. When a prospect feels understood, they feel safe. They trust you more. They open up. And in that trust-rich space, you uncover needs that competitors will miss—because you're not trying to convince, you're trying to understand. This is where value-based, consultative selling really comes alive.
Social Skills
Finally, social skills bring it all together. This is the ability to build rapport, manage relationships, influence others, and communicate in a way that fosters connection. Sales professionals with strong social skills are persuasive without being pushy, influential without being manipulative, and assertive without being aggressive.
They know how to read the room, adjust their communication style, and connect authentically with people from different backgrounds and communication preferences. Whether it’s leading a discovery conversation, navigating a complex negotiation, or simply staying top of mind with a prospect, social skills amplify every other aspect of emotional intelligence.
Backed by Science, Proven in the Field
This isn’t just theory—it’s evidence-based. A wide range of research confirms the link between EQ and sales performance. According to Six Seconds, sales professionals with higher EQ scores consistently outperform their peers in metrics like customer retention, sales conversion, and long-term client satisfaction. Another study by TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers across industries have high emotional intelligence.
From a neuroscience perspective, decision-making is an emotional process. Antonio Damasio, a renowned neuroscientist, demonstrated that when the emotional centers of the brain are damaged, people can’t make effective decisions—even when they retain full intellectual ability. In other words, emotions are not the enemy of logic—they are the engine behind it.
If emotions drive people—and people drive performance—then emotional intelligence becomes the most strategic investment a salesperson can make.
Turning Insight into Action
If you’re a sales professional, sales manager, or entrepreneur who wants to elevate your effectiveness, start by focusing on one area of EQ. A great place to begin is self-awareness. Reflect on how you show up before a sales interaction. Are you calm, confident, and focused? Or are you distracted, anxious, or pressured?
Ask yourself:
What emotions tend to drive my behavior in sales conversations?
How do those emotions help—or hinder—my ability to build trust and communicate value?
How can I pause, reflect, and choose more productive emotional states moving forward?
These questions aren’t just reflective—they’re transformative.
The Next Step: Go Deeper with EQFIT® for Sales
This article is just the beginning. In my new book, "EQFIT® for Sales 1 – Unlocking Sales Success with EQ: The Science and Practice of Emotionally Intelligent Selling"
I walk you through each of these competencies in detail, show you how they apply to real-world sales situations, and provide exercises to help you build your EQ skills as part of your daily sales practice. As a bonus, there are multiple proprietary tools as free downloads with the purchase of the book.
You don’t have to guess what’s holding you back. Emotional intelligence gives you the insight and tools to close more deals, build stronger relationships, and lead with integrity and confidence.
Coming Soon
Ready to See Where You Stand?
As a next step, I invite you to register for my upcoming LinkedIn Live, June 12, 2025, 11:30am CT:
“Emotionally Intelligent Selling: What the Best Do Differently”
I’ll walk through these principles live, share case studies, and answer your questions in real time. You don’t need more pressure to perform. You need a better way to connect, influence, and lead.
Steve Goodner helps leaders lead better, salespeople sell better—through emotional intelligence, evidence-based strategies, and a commitment to faith-driven excellence. With 40 years of coaching and consulting experience, Steve equips individuals and organizations to perform at their best. Explore more at eqfit.org.