Visibility vs. Availability — An IT Leadership Paradox

by Ali Farahani | The Happy CIO

An IT manager I coach once shared a moment that still echoes in my mind. During a long board meeting, he stepped away briefly for a toilet break. Just five minutes later, he returned to find a missed call from one of the board members. When he called back, the board member didn’t even ask why he had missed the call. He just said:

“I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing. When I call you, you pick up the phone. Immediately. Understood?”

When I asked the IT manager how that interaction made him feel, he paused. Then he said:

"At first I was shocked. Then a bit angry. Then frustrated. And honestly, I felt demotivated. But after a while, I just told myself—if I want to get promoted to CIO, I need to accept this. If I want visibility at the board level, I must always be available."

That board member wasn’t just demanding availability. He was defining this IT leader’s value by it. And this, right here, is the toxic misunderstanding we need to break.

“To be visible as a high-performing leader, I need to be constantly available, responsive and 'on'—otherwise I’ll be replaced.”

Many IT leaders live by this rule—but it’s a fear-driven, self-eroding lie.

The truth? Availability is not the same as visibility.

Availability is reactive, compulsive, and fear-driven. Visibility is intentional, compelling, and purpose-led.

One burns you out. The other lifts you up—and brings others with you.

Real Visibility Feels Different

You can work tirelessly, attend every meeting, respond instantly to every message—and still feel invisible.

Because real visibility isn’t earned through busyness. It’s earned through alignment, clarity, and courage.

True visibility shows up when you stop chasing external validation and start embodying internal truth.

You become visible when:

• You hold your boundaries with grace and strength.
• You act from your values, not your fears.
• You let your presence speak louder than your performance.

You’re not just a productive leader. You’re a powerful one. Because you’re not available to everyone—you’re accountable to yourself.

That’s when others see you—not just because you show up, but because you stand up.

3 Powers of Visible Leadership

1. Grounded You are emotionally steady, mentally present, and energetically calm. You don’t react—you respond. You become the anchor your team looks to when pressure rises. According to Daniel Goleman (1998), emotional self-regulation is foundational to effective leadership. Shirzad Chamine (2006) calls this the Sage's Activate power—where clear-headedness, laser focus, and fearless composure come together. This isn’t passive calm; it’s fierce, focused presence.

2. Compelling You don’t just speak—you align. You communicate with clarity, conviction, and purpose. Your words move people, not because they’re forceful, but because they resonate. Research shows that communication breakdown is a top reason leaders fail (CCL, 2010; Kouzes & Posner, 2012). Chamine refers to this as the Sage's Innovate power—listening actively, integrating ideas positively, and articulating a vision that inspires ownership and action.

3. Connected to Your Why You act from meaning, not mechanics. Simon Sinek (2009) reminds us that people follow why you do something, not just what you do. Chamine's Navigate power reflects this energy: you’re not pushing for approval—you’re pulling from purpose. You lead with love, not obligation. And when your energy is aligned with joy, clarity, and deep intent—people can’t help but notice you.

Before asking, "How can I be more visible?", ask:

Am I grounded? Am I clear? Am I aligned with my why?

The Psychological Trap

We all want to be seen. But when that need is fed by fear, it becomes toxic.

Saboteurs whisper:

“Stay useful. Stay busy. Don’t stop.”

You begin to hustle for your worth. Performance replaces presence. Doing replaces being.

This is conditional self-worth:

“I matter only if I deliver.”

And so, your leadership becomes a performance—an audition you never win.

From Performance to Presence

You don’t lead through busyness. You lead with your presence.

When you tolerate toxic behavior from superiors or peers—when you let others dictate how you show up, speak, and serve—you’re not leading. You’re surviving. And what you’re really saying is:

"I am available for your needs. Your expectations come before my values."

That’s not visibility. That’s obedience. At best, it’s performance.

But when you respect yourself, stay true to your values, and remember your worth—you stop being a performer. You stop being agreeable. You start being undeniable.

Your presence becomes strong. Your presence becomes fearless and fierce. Your presence begins to demand respect—not chase it.

And that, finally, is when you become visible.

What Did You Learn?

• Visibility without boundaries is burnout in disguise. If you're always available, you're not leading—you're reacting.
• Being busy isn’t the same as being influential. True leadership influence is built through clarity, presence, and emotional resilience.
• You train others how to treat you. When you accept disrespect or unrealistic demands, you're reinforcing your invisibility.
• Presence is power. The moment you stand firmly in your values and own your worth, your presence begins to speak louder than your words.
• You become visible the moment you stop seeking validation—and start honoring your truth.

Let this article be a reminder:

Don't try to be visible. Strive to uncover who you truly are.

Final Thought

Years ago, I was the one who thought being the first to reply and the last to leave would earn me visibility. It didn’t. It earned me fatigue, frustration, and a false sense of worth.

That’s why I now coach IT managers—not to make them better performers, but to help them become powerful leaders. Leaders who know their value, set boundaries, and stop chasing validation through over-availability.

If this article resonated with you, share it with your peers. Forward it to someone stuck in the trap of constant availability. And if you want more insights like this—rooted in real coaching, leadership psychology, and IT truth—subscribe to my newsletter, The Happy CIO.

Let’s lead with presence. Let’s lead with power. Let’s be visible for the right reasons.

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