Vol. 2, No. 36: Amplification and Not Domination

Yesterday, I received a "thank you" for my recent participation in a panel that commented on my "unique ability to put the other panelists at ease without dominating the conversation." In all the interactions in my life, my goal is not to dominate but to use my knowledge, wisdom, and empathy to bring out and amplify the best in others. That is my version of being my best.

There was a time, much earlier in my life, when I did not just have the goal of being my best, but I had the goal of always being the best and finding ways of demonstrating that all the time. I was a conceited child in elementary school and somehow thought that a focus on being the best at everything, the most important in all cases, or simply "the one" was the thing to aim for. I don't know where that idea ever came from, but I am glad that I outgrew it.

I have heard people refer to one colleague as "taking up too much space." I try to avoid that. I have learned that I am not someone who easily just fades into the background as a wallflower, but that doesn't mean that I have to be the center of attention. Often, being the center of attention would take away from my goal of amplifying others.

So, I describe life now as being aimed at using my best (in whatever way that may be) as a multiplier of others' bests. My unique contribution is rarely to start narratives but to extend narratives and grow narratives in ways that make others' ideas even more powerful than they would have been otherwise.

Of course, I had to realize that my own narrative should start that way. My colleague's statement about my unique ability to put others at ease without domination caught my attention because it sounds like something I could have written about my own narrative. When I get such feedback, it is a great reminder to "keep on keeping on" as I am clearly doing something that is communicating what I am trying to do and to show, as I hope for.