Want to Be a Better Speaker Instantly? Swap One Word

⛵️🎤 If this SpeakerSHIP insight helps, you’ll love my book SpeakerSHIP: https://ryan.online/speakership

Not long ago, I was at a conference. Two speakers stood out—but for very different reasons.

The first? Let’s just say he loved the sound of his own voice. Every sentence started with “I.” “I’ve built this…” “I believe that…” “I want to share…”

It was like watching someone talk to a mirror. The audience was polite—but disengaged. Heads were nodding... off.

Then came speaker number two.

His opening line?

“Today, you are going to learn something that can change the way you communicate forever.”

Boom.

Instant attention.

I leaned in. Everyone else did too.

It was subtle, but powerful. The difference? One little word: you.

Why “You” Works

Here’s the thing—when you say “I”, your talk is about you. When you say “you”, your talk is about your audience.

And guess who your audience cares most about?

(Hint: not you.)

It’s not because they’re selfish. It’s just how we’re wired. Every person in your audience is listening with one question in mind:

“What does this mean for me?”

Using the word you answers that question. It pulls them into the message and makes them feel like they’re part of the story.

It’s a Small Shift with Big Impact

You can feel the difference when a speaker says:

“I’m going to share how I overcame fear.”

Versus:

“You’re going to learn how to overcome the fear that’s holding you back.”

Same story. Totally different experience.

The second one makes the listener the hero. It takes your journey and turns it into their roadmap. And that’s what great communication is all about—making your message matter to the people hearing it.

Don’t Ditch Every “I”

Now, I’m not saying you should never talk about yourself.

Your story is important. It gives your message weight. It shows people that you’ve lived what you’re teaching.

But your story should serve the audience—not center on you. If every sentence starts with “I,” your message runs the risk of becoming a monologue instead of a conversation.

Here’s a Quick Fix You Can Try

Pull out a talk or a pitch you’ve already written. Read it out loud.

Now listen carefully: How many times are you saying “I”? Go back through and swap in “you” wherever it makes sense. It might just be a few tweaks. But those tweaks matter.

Because when people feel spoken to, not spoken at, they stay with you.

They listen longer. They engage deeper. They remember more.

Make It About Them

Before your next talk, ask yourself:

“Is this about me—or is it about them?”

Because no matter how great your story is, if it’s not connecting to your audience, it’s just noise.

Say “you” more.

Make your message about them.

And watch what happens.

Sometimes it shows up as applause. Sometimes it’s action. Sometimes it’s just a nod, a smile, or someone coming up afterward saying,

“I felt like you were talking directly to me.”

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

Because you were.

If you want to dive deeper into the weeds on one of your talks, or an important presentation. Book time on my calendar for an intro call and we can chat.