Are we asking the right questions?

A question that is often asked by adults of unsuspecting children is the classic, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” This question tends to bug the @#*! out of me, as it took me about 30 years before I knew what I wanted to do, so how on earth are these little kids meant to know when their primary concern these days is where to get a fidget spinner* from?

Far more effective and useful is if we just ask them questions that encourage them here and now, that focus on the present and not on a future that they can’t even conceive of yet. (“What do you enjoy doing?” could be a nice alternative.)

With our fellow grown ups, I’m pretty sure we can be smarter with our questions too. Instead of the usual, ‘How was the weekend / traffic / weather?’ or ‘How are you going with your targets this month?’ or ‘What’s your five year plan?’ let’s change it up a bit. Consider asking questions such as:

• What would you change today if you could? 
• What would make the biggest difference to your day?
• How will you know you’ve had a fulfilling day when you hit the mattress tonight?
• How are you going to take some time out today? (for mindfulness, reflection, exercise, space)
• Who will you connect with today? (face to face, not online)
• What is preoccupying you today?
• How will we look out for each other today? (even just offering to buy the morning coffee can make all the difference)
• How can I help you today?
• Would you like to borrow my fidget spinner today?*

These questions will all help direct us to the present and what it is we’re focusing on today that will make a difference, encourage connection and cohesion, and will have you learn more about where your team is at. And an FYI - fidget spinners are selling like hot cakes, so you’ll need to move fast!

* This latest craze is very cool and not exclusive to kids. I reckon it’s a universal mindfulness tool for staying present and sharpening focus…

Deborah helps her clients increase their influence and maximise their potential through peak performance solutions that promote both personal and professional mastery. For over 16 years she has partnered with her national and international clients to help create essential foundations to build people focused, high performance cultures in which leaders and teams thrive.

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