We need to talk, are you too sensitive?

When people hear the word trauma, they tend to think of the big stuff — violence, disaster, grief, war zones.

But trauma isn’t always loud and obvious. Sometimes it creeps in quietly, bit by bit. And for some people, it hits harder — not because they’re soft, but because they’re built to feel it more.

Around 1 in 5 people are what’s called Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). Basically, their emotions are dialled up a notch, thanks to their biology and upbringing. They're more emotionally responsive, more attuned to people and environments.

This is not a weakness. In fact, it can be a huge asset — you’ll find loads of HSPs in caregiving professions like healthcare, social work, teaching, and therapy. Not by accident. They’re drawn to helping roles because they care.

That’s a strength. But it can also make them vulnerable.

And here’s the hidden risk nobody talks about.

HSPs tend to absorb emotional stuff more deeply — especially other people’s pain. It’s called vicarious trauma. And when you’re exposed to it every day, it builds up.

For HSPs, this often means feeling overwhelmed in loud, busy, or hectic environments. They get home and ruminate more — on how they and others are feeling, or just what’s happened during the day. They may naturally attach more meaning to things.

Again, not a weakness. But left unchecked, all of this can lead to:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• PTSD
• Burnout — emotionally and physically empty
• Compassion fatigue — you’ve given so much of yourself, you’ve got nothing left, and you might even start to resent the people you’re helping

And it’s not from a single crisis — but from the everyday emotional weight of the job. If no one’s talking about it, it festers and grows into something bigger.

What this means in real terms is that at least 20% of your workforce is more prone to experiencing issues that will impact how they work, how well they perform, whether they burn out, go off sick, or just leave.

So from a business perspective, doing something about this isn’t just morally right — it makes solid financial sense. Replacing someone can cost you at least £10,000, and up to £100,000.

So what can we do?

First off — stop trying to "toughen people up".

I hate the “toughen up” mentality. It’s something I saw loads of in my time in the military. There have been two times in my life where “man up” applied:

1. When I twisted my ankle running to cover during a rocket attack in Afghanistan.
2. When my wife became ill after my son was born.

That’s it.

Outside of that, “toughen up” just isn’t useful. Sensitivity is something to work with, not against.

If you’re someone who feels things deeply, it’s also your responsibility to recognise that and build a toolkit to help you manage. What’s in your toolkit will vary, but here are some ideas:

• Breathwork, mindfulness, somatic practices
• Sport and exercise
• Getting creative — writing, drawing, making
• Clearer emotional boundaries at work
• Regular therapy or coaching

If you run a team or an organisation — especially in trauma-heavy sectors — don’t just throw a mindfulness app at the problem and call it support.

Think bigger:

• Trauma-informed training for managers
• Debriefing sessions after difficult cases or incidents
• Spaces where staff can actually talk about how they’re doing
• A culture that normalises emotional check-ins, not just productivity
• Providing space and time for people to step away when they need to

Because if we ignore the emotional load our people are carrying, we will lose them — to burnout, sickness, other organisations, or just slow, quiet disengagement.

And the truth is, you do have people in your workplace who are more susceptible to the issues I’ve just talked about. Whether you like that or not is irrelevant — it’s still true.

And when it comes to whether or not you do something about it, there’s a simple concept we used in the military:

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Or my personal favourite: Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person is a form of emotional intelligence. Perceptiveness. The kind of stuff that makes teams and services better.

But if we want to keep these people well, we’ve got to build systems that back them up — not break them down.

💬 Over to you: Are trauma-informed approaches part of your wellbeing strategy? How do you support the people who feel the most?

Drop your thoughts — someone might need to hear them.