Wellness Begins With You: A Letter to Anyone Struggling

Remember the airline safety message "secure your own oxygen mask before helping others"?

The same principle applies to your wellbeing. You're not being selfish - you're ensuring you have the strength and energy to be there for others.

I'm going to share a personal story here, but not with all the personal details. My hope is that it helps you ground yourself and get you to take care of yourself, as needed. This is by no means a sympathy or empathy post - it's all about raising awareness.

Not many people know, but I've been dealing with a chronic medical issue for the past 6 years or so. When I first got tested, the condition wasn't severe and the impact wasn't significant. I've tried going with the traditional solution, but it did not work for me. After trying an alternative treatment that also failed, I gave up and continued with my life.

You probably guessed it already - it only got worse. Over the years, I got tested a few more times with a constant decline. No matter what quality of life changes and what treatments I tried, nothing helped. Every time something didn't work, I took a break for a few more months or years before trying something else.

About a year ago, I was at a really bad place. How bad, you might ask? Well, imagine having no energy, physically, emotionally or mentally. My cognitive functions were impaired, with constant brain fog and sometimes the inability to form sentences. I felt like a literal zombie. I'd need to sleep mid-day, but it had no impact on my ability to function. That wasn't all. At that severity, the condition affected other health concerns, and put me up at a high risk for much worse risks.

How did I feel about it? The only way that makes sense. I felt like a weak person. I felt like I was disappointing the people around me, and especially my workplace. I felt like I wasn't delivering what was expected of me, and that made me feel worse. Neither my boss nor my colleagues had any idea this was going on with me (though if they're reading this now, they probably do).

I reached my breaking point and realized I cannot keep living this way. I was planning on going on short-term disability while I figure it out, and spoke with my doctor about it. Shortly after that, it was clear the workplace was going through a change. I had a strong sense there were going to be layoffs and I'd be a part of that. I wasn't wrong.

The following months were hard. After exhausting all other options, the only solution that was left was surgery. It took months to set up appointments with surgeons, get multiple opinions and then set the surgery date. The surgery was successful, the recovery was long, but it's mostly behind me now. It didn't solve the problem, but it did improve it, as was the expected outcome. Today, I'm doing much better and feel like I've regained my life. Personally, 2024 has been a long, challenging year, but I made the right decision to just stop and take care of myself.

If you're reading this and are dealing with any wellness issue - be it physical, mental or emotional, this is what I ask of you:

• Take a few deep breaths and focus on yourself for a moment.

• Close your eyes and ask yourself:

"Am I OK?"

"Have I been dealing with this for too long?"

"Does it make me suffer?"

"Does it make me feel worse due to an impact on my other obligations?"

"Has it gotten worse? If I don't treat it, will it get even worse?"

• You're a smart person. You know the answers to those questions. You know if you need to stop and take care of yourself. You just need to make that decision.

• Prioritize yourself.

• Don't settle for surviving when you should be living. If one doctor isn't helping, seek second opinions. If one treatment doesn't work, explore other options. The medical system can be overwhelming, but you need to be your own advocate.

It feels like as we get older, we don't want to be a burden. We don't want to appear weak. We don't want to disappoint the people around us. Many of us stay silent about our health struggles at work, fearing we'll be treated differently or passed over for opportunities. Remember - sacrificing your health for your career is a trade that never pays off.

As a message to those of you who're not dealing with anything severe (and hopefully most of you don't) - this is a call for you to give your colleagues grace. We often don't know what our colleagues deal with, and often they wouldn't want to share. We've all been in bad life situations that affected our work and we've all needed a break. There's always pressure at work, always things that need to be done, but just try being more empathetic, without knowing the 'why'.

If even one person reads this and takes action to care for themselves, I’ll feel blessed. Remember: you’re not being selfish when you prioritize your wellness - you’re creating a better future for yourself and those who rely on you.