We’ve Always Been in the Kitchen — Even Before We Knew How to Cook

Something has been stuck on my mind for a long while now and each time I try to decipher it I fail to point out - why we are the way we are.

Anyway allow me to digress a bit, there's SouthAfrican personality who has managed to make my Fridays worth while by their ever uplifting content - I have grown fond of him and his nickname is 'Mr.Friday' because he really does manage to remind us that it is a Friday and we should all shut down our laptops and step out to breathe, live and just enjoy life. And quite frankly he has a point, I mean if you really look at it - one minute we are starting the week next thing you know it's Friday and as soon as you blink twice we are back to Monday again.

Anyway back to 'Mr.Friday' and the point as to why I am writing this today... Mr.Friday had a message for us today early morning - "Just keep cooking my friend! It doesn't matter if you don't know what you are cooking, step into the kitchen start chopping the onions and preparing everything! By the time you figure out what you want to cook you shall have everything ready my friend!"

I laughed at first and didn't pay too much attention to it, but then I went back to his video and listened to it again - it was when I realised he wasn't talking about cooking or being in the kitchen but about life and our career preparedness. Now this took me back to what has been stuck on my mind for a while now, this lingering question of why is it that there is too much pressure on African women to always know what it is we are cooking before we even step into the kitchen? Furthermore, why is it that we put so much pressure on ourselves and those behind us to have the meal figured out before even stepping into the kitchen and finding out what is it that is available to us? ( And trust me I am not talking about food!)

Now something else I am much familiar with or I have heard of is this notion that the ecosystem isn't that much favourable to the African Woman than it is to everyone else. Quiet frankly to an extent this is true nonetheless, favourability at some point has to expire and an ecosystem has to adopt to examples showcased and paths made.

I vividly remember growing up I just had a mind of my own ( I still do to some extent or well most of the time), to be quiet honest with you I have never really been one to follow rules or conform to what has already been done. I am a believer of just following my gut instinct and doing what feels right to me and quite frankly that has helped me out significantly. However, the older I get the more I get to see how so many women tend to focus so much on knowing what it is they want to do and how they want to do it rather than focusing on what they already have at hand and curving that out to make something out of it.

Though some might argue with me and say that sometimes you have to know what you want In order to trade onto the path that leads you to that exact place and moment but, I may counter by saying a lot of times this takes you directly to what you 'Think' you want and are meant to do resulting into one missing an opportunity to explore further on the different skills and opportunities for growth and open-mindedness.

Now back to my kitchen theory (well not mine but Mr.Friday's) - as African women we have so much potential, zeal, innovation, resilience and determination but I still feel like we don't allow ourselves to explore that fully. We are extremely cautious about our ambitions ( although for the past years that has tremendously changed) but we are still cautious, and I find this quiet interesting because a majority of us before we even knew how to cook (practically) we were invited (And sometimes forced) into the kitchen by our grandmas, mothers, aunties and sometimes even dad's just to see what they were doing even before we knew what it was they were cooking.

So when it comes to trusting the process and preparedness, it has been engraved in us even before we could know what exactly we needed to set aside and make. Which brings me back to this :

We need to stop talking ourselves out of opportunities that may seem challenging but very much achievable, we need to also have something prepared up our sleeves at all times (well most times) just incase an opportunity randomly lands on us - because when it does we jump right into it and lastly we need to be okay with waiting - waiting for when we now know what we need to cook and present it through the right channels ( because it is worth it).

I know sometimes (well most times) the odds are against us but when has that stopped greatness from sprouting out like a bean stock that needs more sunlight from the ground up (I just made that up hahah).

Moreover, working from a place of abundance rather than scarcity changes a lot when it comes to ones surrounding. There are some shifts that need to happen but one needs less personal induced pressure and more confidence knowing that no matter what kitchen door you walk into or knock on, you already have the ingredients ready waiting to be cooked.

And remember the best ingredient you can always have in the kitchen is YOU!

Don't give up Daughter of Mama Africa, you were born to be great!

And remember, 'Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed.'

With Love,

The Pan-Africa Lady.