What Great Coaches Actually Do

"You can't teach what you don't live." — James Baldwin

Coaching Isn’t What You Think It Is

We’ve confused coaching with cheerleading. And mistaking one for the other is costing companies millions in missed development.

The corporate world is overrun with managers who’ve been told to “coach more,” but were never taught what coaching actually is—or isn’t. As a result, what passes for coaching today often looks more like awkward mentoring or thinly veiled consulting.

The impact? 🔹 Only 26% of employees strongly agree that feedback they receive helps them do better work (Gallup, 2023). 🔹 Nearly 60% of managers report feeling unprepared to have meaningful development conversations (Harvard Business Review, 2022). 🔹 And yet, companies with strong coaching cultures report higher engagement (61%) and better business performance (44%) compared to their peers (ICF + HCI Coaching Culture Study).

The problem isn’t that coaching doesn’t work. It’s that most people aren’t doing it.

Because real coaching is not a personality trait. It’s not “being supportive.” It’s not “just asking a few open-ended questions.”

Real coaching is a discipline. A skillset. A repeatable practice. And it’s radically different from mentoring or consulting—even if it sometimes feels similar.

Before we break down the on-the-ground habits that make great coaches great, let’s draw the distinction:

Consulting vs. Mentoring vs. Coaching

Consultant (Expert-first):

• Brings solutions from experience or research.
• Diagnoses the problem and offers specific options.
• Advises based on models and case studies.

Mentor (Wisdom-first):

• Shares personal stories and insights.
• Guides by saying, "Here’s what worked for me."
• Leans on past experiences to help someone avoid missteps.

Coach (Curiosity-first):

• Helps others reflect on their own patterns.
• Guides someone to create their own answers.
• Builds capacity by asking the right questions, not giving the right answers.

Coaches don’t lead with expertise or experience. They lead with questions that create movement.

1. They Prepare Like Pros

Great coaches don’t wing it. They enter conversations having already reviewed context, project status, and personal dynamics.

Not to script the interaction. But to signal one thing: You matter. Your growth matters.

Practice Tip: Before any coaching session, ask yourself:

• What is this person working on or through?
• What behavior have I observed recently?
• What might be one powerful question to explore?

2. They Coach in Flow

Great coaches don’t confine coaching to a calendar block. They coach in the hallway, in Slack, after a call, during the debrief.

They use micro-moments to raise awareness and build habits.

Examples:

• “What part of that felt like a stretch?”
• “What would you try again, even if it didn’t work this time?”
• “What decision made the biggest difference there?”

Practice Tip: Use subtle, reflective questions instead of corrective ones. Swap “Why did you...” with “What led you to...”

3. They Focus on Behavior, Not Just Results

Average managers obsess over outcomes. Great coaches stay focused on process and patterns.

They ask:

• What habits are forming?
• What’s getting in their way?
• What’s worth reinforcing?

Practice Tip: Maintain a running document of coaching observations per person. Look for:

• Emerging strengths
• Self-corrections
• Repeatable strategies

4. They Let Struggle Happen

Most people equate support with rescue. Great coaches know better.

They let their coachee wrestle. They hold space without filling it.

Practice Tip: When someone says, “I don’t know what to do,” respond with:

• “If you did know, what might the options be?”
• “What’s the first small experiment you could run?”

5. They Are Consistent, Not Just Charismatic

Great coaches aren’t always inspiring. They are always intentional.

They follow up. They track goals. They remind people what they committed to and ask if it still matters.

Practice Tip: Block 20 minutes each week to reflect:

• Who needs support?
• Who needs stretch?
• Who am I coaching reactively vs. proactively?

Real Coaching = High AQ

Great coaches increase AQ—Application Quotient™. They don’t just help people learn. They help people apply.

Because learning without behavior change isn’t development. It’s trivia.

📄 Coaching Practice Checklist

Weekly Coaching Touchpoints

• ☑️ Reviewed context before the conversation
• ☑️ Led with curiosity, not advice
• ☑️ Named a behavior worth repeating
• ☑️ Created space for reflection
• ☑️ Let them own the plan, not just agree with mine
• ☑️ Tracked follow-through

Monthly Reflection Prompts

• 🔁 Where am I defaulting to advice?
• 🔁 Who needs more space, not more input?
• 🔁 What coaching habit do I need to recommit to?

Want to Be a Better Coach, Faster?

Try prompting ChatGPT:

• “Reframe this coaching question to reduce judgment: [your question]”
• “Role-play a coaching session with someone avoiding accountability.”
• “Summarize key behaviors from my last 3 one-on-ones.”

Use AI to sharpen your human instincts—not replace them.