What Holds Your Leadership Together?— When the World Doesn’t? Part 2: Pain Points and Practices Across the Four Dimensions

Inspired by the Confucian idea that to bring order to the world we must first set our hearts right, I’ve come to see leadership as a lifelong practice of integration. And I’ve found it helpful to map this work across four interwoven dimensions:

• I – Working Towards a Self Without Illusion: Our inner narrative, emotional maturity, and ability to lead from essence—not ego.

• We – Mastering the Art of Encounter: Our teams, conflicts, trust, and the capacity to build meaningful shared space.

• It – Designing for Purposeful Impact: Our strategies, systems, and ability to translate vision into living reality.

• Spirit – Connecting to Rhythm, Meaning, Source: Our connection to history, society, nature, and something larger than ourselves.

These aren’t “my” categories. They’re drawn from ancient maps and refined through modern practice, including the work we do in SUM. They form a compass for leaders who want to grow with depth, clarity, and soul. When these areas are undernourished, we feel it. They become pain points.

Modern Pain Points — And Why Ancient Wisdom Still Matters

I’ve read a lot of philosophy over my life. But I’m not a fan of abstract thinking for its own sake. That’s why I loved my coaching education: it grounded insight in real practice. It taught me that leadership development must be lived, not just learned. This is also where my work as a Learning Architect began.

So rather than start with the wisdom traditions, I prefer to begin with our own struggles. Here are some of the patterns I see in leaders today—along with questions and acupuncture points drawn from the practice of ancient wisdom and modern mastery.

I – Working Towards a Self Without Illusion

I’ve grown in skill. But has my inner architecture kept pace?

Many leaders over-identify with their role, their output, or their image. Others feel stuck in outdated patterns or disconnected from purpose. Still others have never had cause—or space—to look inward at all.

Pain Points

• Ego-led behavior (defensiveness, proving, isolation)

• No regular inner practice

• Lack of clarity about personal purpose

• Resistance to growth or change

• Over-identification with title or achievements

• Inner saboteurs that go unexamined

• Doubts like “Can I really transform?” or “Is this just who I am?”

Acupuncture Point

When the ego takes over, leadership becomes a performance—rather than a presence. The shift isn’t into passivity, but into awareness: noticing patterns, naming shadows, and choosing differently. The work here is to return to essence. Not with force—but with honesty, humility, and rhythm. We don’t eradicate the ego—we learn to step outside its grip.

❓What if modern mastery began not with striving, but with self-inquiry?

We – Mastering the Art of Encounter

My team is smart. So why do we feel stuck when we’re together?

Teams suffer when we avoid conflict, neglect trust, or settle for surface-level harmony. I’ve seen many leadership teams full of brilliant individuals who cannot think well together. Often, what’s missing isn’t more intellect—but the relational maturity to hold tension, foster safety, and build shared meaning.

Pain Points

• Poor conflict navigation or avoidance

• Low psychological safety

• Culture praised when it works, blamed when it doesn’t

• Silos or internal rivalries

• Power games behind polite smiles

• Lack of rituals to sustain trust

• Cynicism or apathy around culture change

Acupuncture Point

We don’t relate from roles—we relate from presence. The difference between a high-performing team and a mistrustful one often isn’t intelligence. It’s the ability to stay with discomfort, name truths skillfully, and invite repair. Rituals, honesty, and shared learning transform teams from groups of achievers into collectives of growth.

❓What if the real work of leadership wasn’t getting alignment—but learning to hold difference? What kind of space do I create—for truth, for trust, for togetherness?

🛠 It – Designing for Purposeful Impact

The org is running—but are we designing for life, or just efficiency?

Strategy often sounds right on paper, but lacks energy in practice. In some organizations, I’ve seen care without direction, and in others, performance without soul. Structures built for yesterday’s problems now feel brittle in the face of today’s complexity.

Pain Points

• Misaligned strategies or outdated structures

• Brilliant people in broken systems

• Vision that’s vague or reactive

• Change fatigue

• Disconnection between strategy and culture

• Operating at speed with no rhythm or recalibration

• Overwhelm from constant external shifts

Acupuncture Point

When strategy feels soulless or structure becomes suffocating, it’s often because we’ve separated form from purpose. The way out is not a new plan—but a return to rhythm. Leaders who pause, ask better questions, and align systems with values begin to build not just outcomes, but coherence. Design is leadership in action—it can liberate or limit what is possible.

❓What if strategy wasn’t a quarterly task—but a daily practice of coherence? What are we really building—and is it worthy of our life’s energy?

🌌 Spirit – Connecting to Rhythm, Meaning, Source

We’re hitting goals. But what are they in service of?

This is the dimension most leaders don’t realize they’ve lost—until something shakes them. I’ve worked with senior leaders who oversee billions in value, yet can’t remember the last time they felt awe, reverence, or silence. Spirit isn’t just religion. It’s about depth. Meaning. Belonging to something larger than ourselves.

Pain Points

• Disconnection from nature, history, or future generations

• Leading in isolation

• Burnout or soul-depletion

• No connection to legacy or regenerative purpose

• Loss of inner or moral compass

• Cynicism about values or ideals

• Silence around what’s worth revering or protecting

Acupuncture Point

We often notice this dimension only when it’s absent—when meaning goes missing, when awe is nowhere to be found. And yet, Spirit is not abstract. Leaders connected to this dimension ask moral—not just technical—questions. They carry a sense of belonging to something larger, and invite others into it. They help with re-connection: remembering our place in a wider story, asking what life is asking of us, and creating moments that restore rhythm and reverence. The items in this dimension are not about belief. They are about depth. A leader with soul is a leader who can hold the whole.

❓What if modern leadership meant not “doing more,” but remembering what truly matters?

What the ancients teach us too: Practice makes the difference

Leadership isn’t just a mindset. It’s a muscle. And like any muscle, it atrophies without practice. Ancient wisdom doesn’t promise perfection. It offers rhythm. Repetition. A way back to center.

• In Zen, the word for enlightenment and practice are the same.

• In Sufism, we speak of “dying before you die”—shedding illusion.

• In Stoicism, the wise leader rehearses virtue daily.

Modern leadership often searches for fragmented fixes. What I am inviting you to instead is the expertise of integration. To grow leadership with depth, clarity, and soul. Modern mastery is not about hacks or hustle. It’s a lifelong conversation between inner clarity and outer action. To practice we need to understand where we stand today and get clear on what to focus on. Hence last week I offered the self-assessment to help with putting insight into action. And this week I invite you into practice.

🌀 A Practice to Experiment With: One Dimension, One Step

This week, choose just one of the four dimensions: Self, Relationship, Impact, or Spirit.

Then ask yourself:

What’s one item from the self-assessment I’ve been neglecting or avoiding?

What’s one small, courageous step I can take to tend to it this week?

Examples:

• If feedback unsettles you (Self), seek out one honest conversation.

• If your team avoids tension (We), invite a moment of truth-telling—with care.

• If your strategy feels misaligned (It), clarify one next step that actually matters.

• If you feel disconnected (Spirit), spend 15 minutes in silence or nature—just to remember.

You don’t have to fix everything.

But you can tend to something.

And that’s the heart of practice.

An Invitation to the Path of Mastery

I was raised to prize knowledge, achievement, and speed. But the leaders I admire today carry something deeper: coherence—between their inner life, their relationships, their designs for impact, and their connection to something larger.

In today’s world of expertise and optimization, what leadership often needs is slower, quieter, harder to measure: the capacity to integrate. Not just doing more things well—but seeing the deeper pattern. Acting with alignment. Creating coherence where others fragment. Not as poetic ideal, but as practical necessity.

And we cannot outsource this kind of leadership. It begins in us.

In The Leadership Space, I’ll keep writing from that edge—where ancient wisdom meets modern mastery. Mostly from the Silk Road traditions that shaped me—Turkey, Persia, India, China, Japan—but with ears open to wherever wisdom still breathes.

If you’re a leader, coach, or facilitator longing to deepen your own root system—welcome. I’d be honored to travel alongside you.

Where This Is Going

Over the coming months, we’ll explore each of these dimensions not as theory—but as lived questions:

• How do we lead from essence, not ego?

• How do we build teams that don’t just function—but flourish?

• How do we design systems that serve life?

• How do we stay connected to meaning in a fast-moving, secular world?

I’ll draw from Rumi and Rinzai, systems thinking and Sufi practice, team interventions and temple wisdom.

Welcome, whoever you are.

Let’s continue the path—together.

Because in a world of ego and urgency, we need leadership with depth, clarity, and soul.

Welcome to The Leadership Space.

—Alper

About the Author

Dr. Alper Tengüz is an executive coach, team facilitator, and author of The Leadership Space. He works with senior leaders and leadership teams to return to what matters—clarity, rhythm, and the deeper practice of leading from essence.

The Leadership Space newsletter explores how timeless insight meets modern leadership.

Because in an age of urgency, complexity, and disconnection, we need wisdom-enabled leaders and teams more than ever.

Ancient Wisdom. Modern Mastery.

Published weekly.