What Makes for Powerful Coaching
I’ve been thinking about what I see as the key elements of powerful coaching. Here are the three things I find to be essential:
1. For the coach, a strange and beautiful suspension of the self. When I train coaches, I often talk about “how coaches contract to enlarge their impact.” As we coach, we suspend our own everyday opinions and judgements. It’s as if we turn into a different kind of human – a human that is more container, witness and facilitator than a person acting from the normative ego self. This is also why coaching is so joyous and uplifting for the coach: it’s a respite from being in our smaller selves – a short, intense window of time when we access a more connected, open, expansive self.
2. Profound skill in helping people shift toward the generative. For me, almost all coaching skills come down to this. Someone comes to a coaching conversation… frustrated, confused, resentful, depleted. Our job is – ultimately – to help them shift toward the generative. That does not mean help them shift to the sugar-coated positive, and it will not work if we ask them to push down or deny even a single smidge of what’s difficult in their lives. But it does mean we have tools/skills to help them process what’s difficult (efficiently) and then – when enough “unraveling” of what is, is complete – shift into a space from which new possibilities, new perspectives, and new ways forward can emerge. The skills we learn in coaching are always in the service of that.
3. Comfort with not knowing, organic discovery and improvisation. Coaching is an improvisational dance. No two sessions are alike. All good sessions leave both coach and client in a sweet sense of surprise. Yet culturally, we are taught to aim for predictability, plans, and control in our work. A significant part of coaching training is about unlearning that, and learning this different way.
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8moAs a coach for me the third bullet point in the image - "comfort with not knowing, organic discovery and improvisation was the hardest to lean into". Trusting the process - and myself was a learning journey that finally let me get comfortable with the "not knowing." Thanks for sharing Tara.
Biochemistry student at UCLA
1yI appreciate your emphasis on "comfort with not knowing." This kind of open-mindedness seems core to achieving a growth-mindset. I am curious– by the coach's "suspension of the self," do you mean that it is important for a coach to muffle their own opinions, and work toward objective feedback? I am not too familiar with what this first element means.
Business Coach | Fractional CMO | Storytelling Coach | Marketing Strategist | Public Speaker | Nomadic Entrepreneur 🏝️
1yI love the concept of organic discovery and improvisation. To me, that means that as a coach, I don't need to know all the answers. Instead, it's more about the journey we guide our clients through.
Producing Talent Excellence at Scale
1yTara Sophia Mohr thank you for this thoughtful post! My first thought probably falls under your #1 but a profound, judgement-free curiosity on the part of my coach was what unlocked me so I could start #playingbig. 😎 I ground myself in that when I am coaching others.
Using strategic insights and creative approaches to support the wellbeing of people and the planet.
1yThanks Tara Sophia Mohr, I love the process of uncovering answers already within my clients, that they might not be able to access themselves, through using a well selected tool or exercise. These often feel like a magic wand that can transform a client’s lens from challenge to opportunity!