What Problem Are You Trying to Solve?

Twenty years ago, I learned a painful lesson. Working as a consultant on a huge project, I had to collaborate with numerous other outside experts. One of them was incredibly annoying. Every time we tried to make progress, he would dig in his heels and refuse to budge. "We haven't defined the problem we are trying to solve," he protested.

At the time, I perceived him as obnoxious. He had an arrogant manner and wasn't the most tactful individual. He would roll out his "define the problem" speech even when we were simply trying to order lunch... or so it seemed to me.

But in the years that followed, I came to realize he was right. 90% of the time, people race ahead to solve problems they haven't even bothered to state clearly. As a result, they waste time, effort and money solving the wrong problem.

Here are three examples:

Problem: "I need a new job." — "Needing" a new job isn't a problem; it's a potential solution to a problem you haven't yet defined. Is the problem a lack of income, autonomy or opportunity? Is it that your entire industry is under pressure? Maybe there is no job in the world that will solve your true problem, because your actual problem is that you need money but despise working for anyone else.

Problem: "I'm 20 pounds overweight." — The fact that you're gaining weight is probably a valuable clue that your health is being threatened by something you haven't yet identified. If you define the problem as being overweight, you might simply go on a crash diet and further threaten your health. Your problem may be that your health is shifting in a negative direction, and you need to understand why.

Problem: "My kids don't listen to me." — 98% of the people who make such a statement likely have kids who feel, "My parents don't understand me." Your problem probably doesn't lie solely with your kids; you almost certainly have a relationship that hasn't adapted to the changes in all of your lives. If you place the blame entirely on your kids, you may be trying to solve the wrong problem.

Before you race to solve a problem, invest more time in asking questions:

• Is this a problem or a symptom?

• How can we look at this situation from different perspectives?

• Do we have all the facts? How can we gather more?

• What happens when we zoom in closer on the details... or zoom out further to better understand the big picture?

• Who disagrees with our assessment? What can we learn from their point of view?

A few months ago, we fostered a dog who turned out to be an incredible escape artist. One time, she even broke out of a black metal crate. I was on the verge of buying an even more expensive crate when I decided to try an alternative approach: putting her bed in our bedroom. She slept like a baby for the rest of her stay with us. The only problem turned out to be that she didn't want to be separated from the rest of her pack.