WHAT IF YOUR BARISTA WORKED IN HOME CARE?

Part I - A Providers Perspective

First things first.....

The Coffee Market is now going to be highly regulated by the Government as we will be using taxpayer funding to support older Australians to ensure they can keep getting a Coffee. We better have a Department of Coffee also to oversee the Governments Coffee funding for all of the Coffee Providers. I know! We’ll call it the Home Cappuccino Program (HCP), and we better add in some means testing to make sure our Coffee Customers don’t have their own Coffee machines at home or that they couldn’t afford to nip down to the local Coffee Shop and buy a Coffee for themselves.

Hmmmm, seems I now need to be able to deliver Coffee to my Coffee Customers in their homes so I better get a car to be able to tow my Coffee cart around.

Come to think of it, all of my Coffee Customers want their Coffee at 8 AM each morning so I better get a team of mobile Baristas that can cover the Coffee needs of all of my customers (That’s going to cost me some extra money to run all of those Barista vehicles so I better bump up my Coffee prices a little to cover the costs). I will need to check that all of my Barista’s cars are registered, and insured, and that they have a current driver's licence. Come to think of it, how do I know my Baristas aren’t a serial ‘Coffee Customer Burner’ so I better get a police check done for them first and check they aren’t on the Banned Barista Register (I might need to employ a HR team member here to manage my Barista compliance so I better factor that into my Coffee price also).

One of my Baristas has just turned up to a Coffee Customer and found that they weren’t at home for their confirmed Coffee delivery so I guess we will just wear the cost of that Coffee and Barista labour and travel costs.

Another Barista has just called back to the Coffee Shop and reported that a dog has jumped up on them and badly scratched there leg. Well, that Barista will be out on workers compensation for awhile so I better employ another one (I better also make sure to employ someone to do some home safety screening for all of my Coffee Customers to make sure my Baristas are safe when they are delivering Coffees into their homes). Meanwhile one of my best Baristas has just decided to work for the Coffee Shop down the road who offered her a sign on bonus and I have two other Barista’s that called in sick this morning (I might need another HR team member to keep up with this Barista recruitment which I’m going to have to cover in my Coffee costs).

The Department of Coffee has decided that Coffee Providers can’t just go around asking people how they like their Coffees each day willy nilly so we need to make sure we have a Coffee Plan in place with all of our Coffee Customers.

(I better employ some people to be able to best support my customers to create their Coffee Plan so they can let the Barista’s know). Turns out some of my Coffee Customers only want certain Baristas to make and deliver their Coffees so I better work out how to roster that in. Some of my customers also have very specific preferences about only wanting their Coffee made by one of our female Baristas (but they are happy for the male Baristas to deliver their muffin). Still other customers don’t even care about how their Coffee is delivered but their family member sure has some ideas to tell our Barista about how the Coffee Customer used to like their Coffee (I better make sure that daughter is one of those ‘Supporters’ the Department of Coffee have been talking about who can help my customer with their Coffee Plan decisions).

The Department of Coffee releases a report after talking with some Coffee Customers and hearing that some of them aren’t really happy with the service of some of the Coffee Providers.

They decide they better create some Coffee Quality Standards to give all the public some piece of mind that Coffees are being made and delivered to a high standard. But who will oversee and enforce the Coffee Standards? We better have a Coffee Commission. And let's make the Coffee Commission turn up randomly at the Coffee Provider Shops and ask them to stop business and tell them exactly how they are applying the Coffee Standards (I better employ a quality team member to make sure we are meeting these Coffee Standards or I might lose my Coffee funding. Better bump up my Coffee prices a bit to cover those costs also).

The Coffee Commission is noticing a trend where 3 of the 10,000 Coffees being delivered each day are not to optimal taste due to burnt Coffee beans.

Rather than appearing to do nothing, the Department of Coffee introduces the Serious Coffee Incident Scheme where all of the Coffee Providers can self-report any Baristas that have caused potential harm to their Coffee Customers (come to think of it, I just saw a report come in about one of our Baristas handing over a cappuccino with a loose lid so I better get another quality team member so they can investigate and send in the required incident documentation within the next 24 hours. After all, that cappuccino could have spilt all over that Coffee Customers new shirt). Actually, no time for that now. The Coffee Commission have just received a complaint from a customer who received soy milk instead of almond and I need to get my 3 page report back to them outlining how we will make sure this doesn’t happen again by close of business tomorrow

Barista Bill has called in saying his Coffee Customer isn’t happy about the temperature of his Coffee.

Bill says the customer is wanting his flat white ‘extra hot’ but Bill is worried it could burn his lips. “It’s our Coffee Customers right to decide to drink extra hot coffee” I tell Bill as outlined in the Department of Coffees Dignity of Risk Policy. “Just make sure to explain the risks of drinking hot coffee very clearly to the Coffee Customer” I tell Bill, “and make sure to document it all very clearly” (I better pay Bill some extra time to complete all this extra documentation the Coffee Commission are needing. Come to think of it, I better get all of my Baristas to complete some regular training so they are up to date with the Coffee Quality Standards and Coffee making best practice standards. 50 hours each per year should cover it). Bill also says this Coffee Customer no longer wants our Coffee and that the customer is going to find his own Barista that we now need to use for his Coffee. The customer also asks to update his Coffee Plan because he is frothing his own milk from now on (I better bump up my Coffee prices a bit to cover these extra training, documentation, and third-party Coffee contractor compliance costs).

The next day a scandal rocks the Coffee industry.

Turns out one of the Coffee Provider Baristas has intentionally poisoned one of their Coffee Customers. The Department of Coffee and the Coffee Commission are copping all sorts of heat so they call for a Royal Commission into Coffee. 10 years, and 10 billion tax payer dollars later they release the Report into Coffee which outlines 735 recommendations. A Cappuccino Taskforce is announced to inform the Department of Coffee of the day on how best to implement the sweeping Coffee reforms (but at the end of the day, the Department of Coffee knows the best way to manage Coffee so they hatch their own 3-point plan):

1. We’re introducing a new Coffee Act! We’ll tell all the Coffee Customers we are putting their right to receive Coffee at the heart of it (but we’ll tinker with some rules to save us some tax dollars to pay for our submarine fleet while we are at it). We’ll make sure we can get this into law by ensuring all of the existing Coffee Customers under the Home Cappuccino Program can still afford their current Coffee. We better make some Strengthened Coffee Standards while we’re at it!
2. We need to regulate our Coffee Providers even more! I know, lets make them register into different Coffee Provider Categories. Those providers serving ristrettos don’t need to follow the Strengthened Coffee Standards but we’ll make sure the cappuccino and muffin crowd are compliant. And lets make the Coffee Customers need a single Coffee Provider initially but we better not touch the Coffee Home Support Program yet.
3. This Home Cappuccino Program is costing us too much money and there sure is a lot more Coffee drinkers coming of age soon. Let’s create a new Short Black at Home Program and make sure these Coffee Providers are only delivering the Coffees that we think are the best ones for the Coffee Customers. And let’s introduce a Capped Cappuccino Price while we are at it but then change our mind and make the Coffee Providers set the Coffee prices. We can set an unrealistic start date for the Coffee Reforms so we look like we mean business but let’s not tell everyone how the Coffee Act and the Short Black at Home Program is going to work just yet in case it bights us in the bum at the upcoming election.

Meanwhile our Coffee Providers are struggling to keep up with all the Coffee Reform announcements.

The changes to Coffee funding coupled with the Set Coffee List and Capped Cappuccino Prices have them wondering if they can even afford to deliver Coffee to their Coffee Customers at home anymore. The Coffee funding rules under the Short Black at Home Program is so complicated that all of the Coffee Providers need to upgrade their Coffee Customer Management Systems to ensure they can claim funding from Coffee Australia. Looks like we better start communicating to all of our Coffee Customers what this Short Black at Home Program is all about as the Department of Coffee isn’t too interested now the election has been called. We better retrain all of our Baristas and Coffee Managers also and work out what Prices we will need for the Set Coffee List.

My goodness! The costs for us to make and deliver a Coffee at home following the Department of Coffees rules are so much higher than when I was selling them from my shop.

How am I going to explain this to all of my Coffee Customers….

Part II - Care Recipients Perspective