What's Your Problem?

As I was heading to bed on Tuesday night, my phone rang. It was a good friend I don't hear from often so when he calls I pick up. Even when all I want is to crawl into bed and sink into my pillow. 

"What's up?", I asked. 

"Hey, you're a coach. I have a question.", he said. 

I smiled. This is how some of my favorite conversations start. "Love it. Go!", I yelled.

What followed was a ten-minute rant about what was happening at his company and how he was feeling. Onboarding new team members, executive leaders who recently left, and processes that clearly don't work anymore were some of the highlights. He went on and on about how frustrated he feels trying to figure out what he could or should do to best move forward. 

After a long pause, I asked, "What else?" He had more to share. Lots more. 

Once he was finally finished I asked, "So what's the real challenge for you right now?" 

He chuckled a bit before saying, "I'm sure most people come to you and your team with clearly defined problems, but that's not me. I don't really know why I called. I guess I don't really have a challenge."

I laughed. "Well, that was a pretty long rant for someone without a challenge." 

I reminded him that everyone has challenges. It doesn't make you a bad leader. It's part of the role. This is why everyone needs a coach. My friend didn't believe he had a clearly defined problem because he's facing multiple issues that need his attention. Therefore, he couldn't identify one particular challenge out of the many he's facing. All he knew for sure was that he felt overwhelmed, stressed, and unsure of what to do next. Can you relate?  

One of the best ways to work through these situations is with a powerful coaching conversation. 

Sometimes all you really need is a safe space to share your circumstances, frustrations, ideas, concerns, and possible solutions. Sometimes you just need a place to speak freely without being judged or criticized. You need to be asked great questions that help uncover your blind spots because you're just too close to your situation.

My friend and I chatted a bit longer before he said four words that made my night..."I actually feel better."

You don't need to have a specific well-defined problem before you reach out to a friend, colleague, or coach to talk it through. In fact, sometimes that's the best time to reach out. They can help you gain clarity and perspective so you can decide the next right step to take. 

Who do you confide in when you find yourself frustrated or overwhelmed and you just need someone to listen? 

Ideas to Inspire

1. Ready to change your perspective on money? Learn how gratitude will level up your finances with this free 30-Day Gratitude Journal from my friend Tasha Chen. 

2. Can you really attract the things you want in your life? That's the question my guest Jackie Minsky and I explored in this episode of Create For No Reason.

3. Quote I've been thinking about this week: “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” -  Oprah Winfrey

4. Book Recommendation: Corruptible by Brian Klaas. He explores what power is, who gets it, and what happens when they do, based on over 500 interviews with those who have had the upper hand. This book is absolutely fascinating. It'll change the way you think about becoming a leader and what might happen if/when you do. 

5. Journaling Prompt: What did you learn or relearn this week?