When Is the Right Time to Move a Loved One with Dementia?

One of the most agonizing decisions families face when a loved one has dementia is when to make a move - whether to assisted living or memory care. It’s not just about logistics or finances. It’s emotional. It feels like a surrender or an admission that things are getting worse.

Many families ask me, "Wouldn’t it be better to wait until they really need it?" In reality, waiting too long often makes things harder, not easier.

In the early stages of dementia, your loved one may still have enough short-term memory and cognitive flexibility to adapt to new routines and environments, especially when changes are introduced with consistency, support, and compassion. They may be confused at first, but they can often settle in, learn the new layout, and start forming relationships with caregivers and fellow residents.

As the disease progresses, their ability to adjust shrinks. The brain becomes more rigid, and the familiar becomes essential. People rely heavily on environmental cues like knowing where their favorite chair is, or recognizing the hallway to the bathroom. Take those cues away too late, and the person may spiral into fear, agitation, or rapid decline.

Two Families. Two Very Different Outcomes.

Joe and his wife Barbara. Joe had early-stage Alzheimer’s. He was repeating questions, missing appointments, and getting lost in his neighborhood. Barbara, his wife, was burned out trying to keep up with his care.

Their family made the hard choice to move Joe to a memory care community while he still understood what was happening. It wasn’t perfect at first. Joe was confused for a few days. But the care staff gently helped him settle in. He started attending music sessions, making new friends, and sleeping better. Barbara was able to rest, recharge, and go back to being his wife, not just his caregiver.

Now, over a year later, Joe still recognizes Barbara when she visits. He smiles when he sees familiar faces on the care team. He’s safe, and Barbara is confident they made the right decision when they did.

Contrast that with Frank and his daughter Lisa. Lisa was adamant about keeping her dad home as long as possible. She was managing his care herself, juggling full-time work and parenting two teenagers.

By the time Frank moved into a memory care community, he was deep into mid-stage Alzheimer’s. He no longer understood where he was. He couldn’t remember Lisa’s name. The move disoriented him so severely that he became paranoid, aggressive, and started refusing food. Lisa was heartbroken. She told me later, “I thought I was protecting him by keeping him home. I didn’t realize the move would be so traumatic this late in the disease.”

What Families Should Consider

If a move to assisted living or memory care is eventually going to be necessary, making that transition sooner, while your loved one can still adapt, can lead to a much better outcome. Here’s why:

• They can learn new routines

• They can build relationships with staff and residents

• They experience less confusion, fear, and disorientation

• You get peace of mind and can shift back into your role as a loving family member, not just a 24/7 caregiver

Every situation is unique. But time and time again, I’ve seen that early transitions tend to go more smoothly, while delayed moves are often harder for both the individual and their family.

Need Help Navigating the Next Step?

If you’re struggling with this decision, please know you’re not alone. I help families navigate these difficult transitions every day - with compassion, clarity, and care - whether that means assisted living, memory care, or support at home.

Feel free to reach out if you'd like to talk through your options. The right time might be sooner than you think.

Eric Klein Care Manager & Patient Advocate CarePatrol Chicagoland North

eklein@carepatrol.com   -   847-653-1213