When Silence Leads to Overperformance

One of the most disorienting spaces for a high-achieving leader to be in is this:

“I don’t know where I stand, and it’s messing with my confidence.”

This past week, three of my executive coaching clients showed up to session with entirely different concerns, yet all of them were carrying that exact same wound.

Let me take you inside:

Client 1 had just received her 360 feedback—and was completely blindsided. Her manager had never offered any real developmental input. She hadn’t asked. There had been no real communication between them… only assumptions. She thought her hard work spoke for itself. But in leadership, misalignment grows loud in silence.

Client 2 is still navigating the fallout of a previous boss who constantly criticized, rarely developed, and likely tainted his reputation before exiting. Now, even though that boss is gone, the residue remains. Every interaction feels like judgment, even from people who’ve never worked directly with him.

Client 3 had just been assigned a new manager, someone she’s worked with before. But during the team announcement, the new leader didn’t acknowledge their shared history. She felt invisible. Instead of asking why, she stayed silent, afraid it would disrupt the fresh start she hoped for.

Each story is different, but there's a pattern:

They are all guessing.

• How am I perceived?

• Am I trusted?

• Does my voice still carry weight?

Here’s what I know after coaching dozens of high-performing, high-capacity leaders:

1. When feedback fails, you fill the silence with overperformance.

2. When clarity is absent, confidence erodes FAST.

3. And when you’re left to guess, the system wins because you’ll retreat, mute yourself, or start managing impressions instead of leading with intention.

That’s why I do not coach for performance.

I coach for:

• Self-awareness

• Clarity

• And confidence that shows up as strategy

Because overperforming is not a strategy. In no scenario. Ever.

You don’t need to do the most to prove the least.

Trust yourself. Start leaning into who you are and intentionally take up space.

🧭 Three ways to take up space when silence makes you question your value:

1. Ask Strategic Questions - Initiate the clarity you're missing. Ask, “What does success look like in this role right now?” or “What feedback would help me grow in this season?”

2. Name the Pattern (Not the Person) Speak truth with intention. Try, “In my experience unclear expectations can create misalignment. I’d love to stay ahead by working together.”

3. Reaffirm Your Value - Out Loud Don’t hide your receipts. Say, “In my last role, I led a major transition with no disruption. I plan to bring that same level of impact here.”

For Your Reflection: Where are you still performing in places where you should be leading from a place of truth?

This insight comes straight from this week’s Hustle & Hope email, my weekly reset for high-capacity leaders ready to lead with confidence and clarity.

If it spoke to you, here are three ways to go deeper:

• Subscribe to Hustle & Hope to receive weekly messages like this in your inbox

• Join the 40-Day I Belong Challenge for a spiritual and emotional reset rooted in identity and alignment

• Email lisa@lisamedleyec.com if you’re ready to explore what working together could look like