Who Holds Her Up When She’s Holding It All Together?

Last week I took a few days out - just for me.

No work. No family juggle. Just space to breathe, rest, think.

It felt big, and necessary. And when I shared about it, the response was overwhelming.

So many messages, all from women - mostly mid-career, juggling family and work — saying:

“I need this too.”

But nearly every one of those messages came with a “but”:

“But I don’t have time.”

“But the kids are still small.”

“But my partner’s work is full-on.”

And I get it - deeply. It took me several false starts and a lot of overthinking to make the space for myself too.

No judgement. I’ve been there too. It took me several failed attempts and a whole lot of mental gymnastics to give myself permission.

But it made me think:

Why do so many women find it so hard to step back?

Why do we feel guilty for needing a break - even when we’re stretched thin?

How much does a woman have to carry before she feels allowed to put herself first?

We talk about self-care and wellbeing, but society isn’t designed to support women stepping away from their roles. The mental load is invisible, yet constant. And the guilt? It’s cultural - baked into how women are taught to give endlessly while asking for little in return.

In the workplace, we reward productivity over pause.

In families, we praise sacrifice before self.

And in leadership, women are often expected to be everything for everyone except for themselves.

The truth is, the world still isn’t really set up for women to rest.

Wellbeing isn’t a reward for getting everything done.

Rest isn’t a treat - it’s what keeps us going.

And the more we wait for the “perfect” moment to take care of ourselves, the longer we’ll stay stuck in survival mode.

This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about being human. And I think we need to talk more about what it really takes for women to pause and how we start making it possible without guilt, pressure or shame.

I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this:

Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s a leadership decision.

And the more we talk about it, model it, and fight for it, the more we shift the culture.

Imagine what might change if more women took the time.

Imagine what might change if the systems around them made it possible.

Let’s build that.