🖥️💭 Why Are Computers So Smart? A Mother's Remarkable Answer...

One day, a curious child 👦asked their mother 👩:

“Mother 'Maa', why are computers so smart?”

The mother smiled and answered with a spark of brilliance:

👉🏽“Because computers always listen to their Mother-board.”

🎯This witty and heartfelt response carries a deeper truth — not just in computing, but in each individuals life itself.

In technology, the motherboard is the central nervous system — it connects, integrates, manages, and guides every other component. Without it, the smartest processors or memory modules are directionless.

Similarly, in life, a mother plays the role of that “central system” — not just biologically, but cognitively and emotionally. Her decisions, values, and nurturing presence:

• Shape the logical brain (our prefrontal cortex, much like a CPU),
• Nourish the limbic system, where emotions, empathy, and social intelligence are cultivated,
• And provide the structured support system that allows a child to grow into a confident, thoughtful, and resilient adult.

🌱 A Mother’s Decision-Making: The Architecture of Trust

Like a motherboard that orchestrates, regulates, and quietly enables every function of a system — a mother anchors her child’s growth with impartiality, consistency, and trust.

She doesn’t favor one child over another based on success or failure. Her decisions are rarely reactive — they’re grounded in values, unwavering belief, and emotional intelligence.

Over time, a child learns to rely on her Trust-Based Relationship — not just because she nurtures, but because she:

• Remains consistent through changing circumstances
• Balances logic with empathy
• Honors her own principles even under stress
• Models aligned behavior — where Feelings, Thoughts, Beliefs, and Actions (FTBA) are synchronized

🔍 FTBA: The Inner Alignment That Builds Outer Trust

When leaders struggle to build trust, it often stems from a misalignment in their FTBA:

🧩 FTBA = Feelings + Thoughts + Beliefs + Actions

• Feelings – Are they insecure? Angry? Grateful? Envious?
• Thoughts – What plans or fears are driving decisions?
• Beliefs – Do they believe in fairness? Collaboration? Power dynamics?
• Actions – Are these aligned with what they say they value?

✅ When FTBA is in sync, people trust you — because you become predictable, authentic, and human. ❌ When FTBA is out of sync, people notice — even unconsciously. And trust collapses.

🧮 The Trust Formula: Trust  (T) = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Interest

This formula is derived from models like the Trust Equation proposed by David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford in The Trusted Advisor.

A powerful model from The Trusted Advisor explains trust like this:

T = (C + R + I) / S

• Credibility (C): Are you competent and truthful?
• Reliability (R): Do you keep your word?
• Intimacy (I): Do people feel emotionally safe with you?
• Self-Interest or Self-Orientation (S): Are your actions driven only by your gain?

👉🏽 Lower the self-interest, higher the trust. Leaders who “play political games” to protect their position, demand respect without earning it, or lack emotional openness — all increase their self-interest denominator and destroy trust.

🏢 Where Trust Fails in the Enterprise

Despite best intentions, many modern organizations suffer from a trust deficit. Why?

Here are the real-world factors that erode trust between leaders and their workforce ("pillars"):

🚩 1. Misaligned FTBA in Leadership

• Leaders speak of transparency, but act in secrecy
• They promote innovation, but punish failure
• They claim empathy, but react harshly to vulnerability

🌐 2. Cross-Cultural Disconnect

• Leaders in global teams misinterpret behaviors across cultures
• In hierarchical cultures, deference is mistaken for trust
• In collaborative cultures, lack of voice erodes confidence

🎭 3. “Playing Safe” for Self-Preservation

• Managers protect their roles instead of empowering teams
• They avoid accountability by blaming others
• They align upward, but disconnect downward

👑 4. Respect by Position, Not by Presence

• Some leaders demand respect based on title, not behavior
• Employees feel used, not valued
• Fear replaces inspiration

🕳️ 5. Silos, Politics, and Invisible Walls

• Departments compete, rather than collaborate
• Gossip becomes strategy
• High-performers get alienated or exit

💼 The Business Cost of Trust Deficit

• Innovation suffers — teams stop taking initiative
• Engagement drops — people show up physically, not mentally
• Burnout rises — emotional exhaustion without connection
• Attrition accelerates — especially among high-potential talent
• Poor emotional culture, even in high-performing teams

 🛠️ A Call to Leaders: Rebuild the Trust Infrastructure

Just like a motherboard, our invisible behaviors matter more than your visible commands.

💡 Start with a daily FTBA check:

• Are my actions today aligned with my beliefs?
• Do my team members feel emotionally safe around me?
• Am I making decisions with mutual benefit in mind?

💬 And Lord Buddha says: You don't earn trust by demanding loyalty. You earn it by offering integrity and persued values.

✍️ Reflect and Share

🔹 What’s one value your mother instilled in you that still guides your leadership decisions? 🔹 Have you experienced leadership where FTBA was misaligned? What impact did it have?

👉🏽Let’s take a moment to honor the original architects of emotional and cognitive intelligence — 'our mothers' — and carry forward that legacy into our boardrooms, families, and communities.

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