You can throw away your contract if there's no trust (or how I learned to read red flags) 🚩

When your inner voice screams "something's not right"

You know that feeling when you're talking to someone and something deep inside just feels wrong? Everything seems normal — the person smiles, says the right things, even ready to sign a contract with all possible guarantees. But your brain is somehow sounding the alarm.

I used to ignore that inner voice. I thought: "What am I, paranoid? I have a contract, everything's written down, what could go wrong?"

Spoiler: absolutely everything can go wrong. And no contract will fix it.

📋 The illusion of paper safety

We IT folks love to document everything. Requirements, contracts, terms, penalties — everything point by point. It seems like if everything's written and signed, we're protected. How wrong I was.

Let me tell you a story. I decided to quit one company and went to my boss. He says: "Read contract first." I thought — what could be interesting in a standard employment contract?

Turns out — a lot. 60 days notice for quitting, plus they can demand I finish projects for another six months after submitting resignation. I barely escaped from there. Now I carefully read every line, especially when they tell me it's a "standard contract."

🧠 When your brain knows more than you do

Here's what I learned over years of work: our brain is a powerful analytical computer. It processes thousands of micro-signals that we don't consciously notice. Tone of voice, gestures, pauses in conversation, how someone looks you in the eye or avoids eye contact.

When something feels "wrong" — it's not paranoia. It's your brain already analyzing all available information and signaling: "Warning! Potentially unreliable partner!"

👥 Trust in teams: when everything falls apart

Worst is when trust disappears inside your team. I worked at a startup with friends. On paper everything looked perfect — areas of responsibility, development plan.

But gradually I started noticing little things: someone hides information, someone makes one-sided decisions and puts others before facts, someone devalues colleagues' work and just ignores problems instead of solving them through dialogue like adults.

Result? Six months later we split up. Not because of money, not because of technical problems — because of trust that was already gone.

🤝 Trust vs Control: what matters more?

A contract isn't the foundation of relationships, it's insurance. If a partner wants to deceive you, they'll find a way. Points can be interpreted differently, execution can be delayed, situations can be created where formally everything's correct, but in fact — you're losing.

Trust works the opposite way. When there's real trust:

• Problems get solved quickly, without lawyers
• People are ready to compromise for the common goal
• Even if something goes wrong, parties look for solutions, not someone to blame

🚨 Red flags I learned to notice

In business:

• Client constantly "forgets" details of previous agreements
• Tries to change conditions during work for "small things"
• Tells how badly previous contractors treated them (red flag the size of a football field!)

In teams:

• Colleague constantly devalues and criticizes others' work
• Hides important information "to not bother others"
• Always finds excuses for their failures

In partnerships:

• Partner devalues others' contribution to common cause
• Makes one-sided decisions that affect everyone
• Says one thing but does another

💡 What to do when there's no trust?

If your inner voice screams "something's wrong" — listen to it. Better to refuse a project now than spend months later recovering nerves and reputation.

My rules:

• Trust doesn't restore — if it broke once, it'll break again
• Better fewer projects, but with reliable people
• Red flags don't disappear — they accumulate

Bottom line

A contract is a tool for honest people who want to avoid misunderstandings. But if someone wants to deceive you, no contract will stop them.

Trust your intuition. It's rarely wrong.

Have you ever ignored your inner voice and regretted it later? Share your experience — maybe it'll help someone avoid my mistakes.

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