Are Your Actions Aligned with Your Values?

Writer and artist Angela came to me to deal with PTSD and depression. It was the Core Values exercise that had some of the greatest impact on her healing. 

“Knowing what my values are changed everything. I was living my values but not consciously and not with intention. I know better what to hang on to in my life and what to let go of. I can bring in new experiences that align more with who I am. The process is deepening my appreciation and gratitude in several areas of my life. And it is deepening my work with others as a coach,” she states.

After you are clear about your values, you can look at past and present difficulties. You’ll figure out where the values weren’t aligned in your past and where they are still not aligned in the present. When Angela was having real issues with an organization she’d joined, we realized the group wasn’t in alignment with one of her values.  This is often the case when we’re having particular difficulty in any situation; usually there’s something going on that comes up against one of our values. 

Angela says, “What a relief to quit the group with confidence, and not think that it was something I was doing wrong.“ Not only did the core values exercise help Angela in her own life, she started using it with her clients. “The more aligned my clients become in every area of their own lives the easier it is to make progress in our creative work together.  It’s a win-win.”

What has changed in her life now Angela understands her core values? She says, “The choices I make are more often the right ones.  Stress is decreased.  Self-confidence increases. I don’t have to deal with thinking I’m wrong or I don’t fit.  It’s just an issue of different values.  It frees me to be me and it frees others to be themselves. I can now choose directions that unfold in positive ways. It helps me understand when, why and how my family, friendships, or work relationships have problems.  Our core values often just aren’t aligned.”