Your body may be lagging behind your brain, but that's what it's meant to do.
I’ve struggled with sleep this past week. Not because I’m overwhelmed or burned out or going through some big emotional upheaval. Quite the opposite. I’ve been calmer, clearer and more at peace than usual.
And yet... wide awake at 2:42am for no reason.
It took a while to connect the dots, but it turns out that my mind has made a whole bunch of decisions that my body hasn't quite caught up with yet.
See, I’ve changed a lot this year. Systems are doing the heavy lifting in my business. AI is shaving hours off my workload. I’m not just putting out fires anymore—I’m looking at maps, planning routes and thinking three steps ahead.
I’ve bought a business bigger than anything I’ve owned before. I’ve taken on more debt than ever. I’ve taken on a coach, recommitted to study, and I’m sharing my life between two cities.
But what really got me was when I realised I had changed my night-time routine. One I’ve kept every single night since a psychiatrist taught it to me at 14.
Change, as it turns out, doesn’t just arrive cleanly. It’s not a new email signature or an inspirational quote. It’s a chain reaction. Even good change is a disruption—and your body keeps the score.
You can love change and still be exhausted by it.
I’ve always run fast. That’s my natural pace. But this year didn’t come screaming out of the gates like years past.
Not because the work wasn’t there. It was. But this time, I had people. Real people. Managers. Contractors. Staff. Professionals who actually knew what they were doing.
That left me with time. Time to think strategically. Time to plan and even... meditate.
And yet I found myself awake at night, twitchy and alert like a guard dog who forgot the danger had passed.
That’s the thing about growth—it can be exciting and positive and still shake your nervous system to its core.
And sometimes, the lag between deciding to grow and your body feeling safe about it is where your biggest lessons show up.
The goal isn’t peace. It’s alignment.
It’s one thing to say, “I’m ready for more.” It’s another thing to make your body, your brain, your energy and your old habits all come along for the ride.
I’m not striving for quiet. I’m striving for clarity. For alignment between what I say I want and how I’m actually living.
My old life and my new one are having a bit of a wrestle right now.
And that’s fine.
The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort. It’s to build the kind of life where discomfort is the price of progress—and one you’re happy to pay.
I’ve found that the difference between burnout and breakthrough is often just understanding the why behind your tiredness.
If you’re exhausted because you’re finally making your own rules and building something real? That’s a different kind of tired.
It’s the kind that comes with a payoff.
Growth isn’t just the goal. It’s the consequence.
I’ve stopped asking if I’m making the right decisions. That’s already done.
Now I’m just giving my body, my rhythms, and my systems the grace to catch up.
You don’t sprint through transformation. You move through it in steps, sometimes two forward, one back.
But with every week of disrupted sleep and shifting routine, I’m seeing something else happen. I’m less reactive. More thoughtful. Stronger in my no’s. Softer in my yes’s.
Change isn’t just a strategy. It’s an ecosystem. And you don’t bulldoze through one of those. You evolve into it.
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