Your Fear of Control

I know what’s scarier than feeling like you’re not in control of your life: realizing you’re in complete control of your life.

Are you a citizen of a first world country, over age 18, and not in jail? WARNING: there’s a strong chance you're in control of your own life and, at first, you won't like how it feels to realize this.

You can do whatever you want. But it’s All. On. You.

We pretend like this is what we want, but life is simpler when you feel like someone or something else is in control. We don’t want to be enslaved or indentured, but we keep ourselves from doing what we really want to do by creating fake owners, controllers, and restrictions, or failing to overcome our own insecurities.

• “I can’t leave this job for my dream job because I haven’t put in a full year yet. It’ll look bad." 
• “I can’t move to Thailand to study yoga because I’m locked into this lease and I have a good job. Maybe next year.” 
• “I can’t break up with him because his birthday is in a couple weeks. He’d be devastated.”

For many people, their gut reaction is to agree with those statements under the guise of being responsible or considerate. Think what you’d like, but I think you're making excuses because the unknown is scary. We all do it.

So what controls your life? Go ahead, make a list. Short on finances? Not qualified? Worried what friends or family would think? Accept that you are not helpless, that you’re in control, and I'd wager the right friend, coach, or stranger can help you overcome 99% of why you "can't" do something. If your healthcare covers a therapist, even better (though taboo to many)!

It’s scary to realize you can do whatever you want, and that you can take control of your current circumstance and state of mind. You’re surrounded by unlimited possibilities, and acknowledging that means acknowledging any “misfortunes” are within your control. You can do something about them.

You can change whatever you want to change. You’re in control of your life.

 Will you pretend otherwise, or own it?