How To Approach Conflicts With A Solution Mindset

Over the past 5 years I learned how to make confrontation a conversation. For years, I avoided confrontation. It was uncomfortable, and I wanted to be liked. I was very immature in my thinking. So, I’d ignore the tough topics, let things slide, and convince myself that keeping the peace was worth more than speaking up. But here’s the truth: that mindset held me back, both personally and professionally. When I stopped avoiding confrontation, I started seeing massive growth. Here’s why addressing confrontation is smart and GOOD for business: 🟢 Prevents Miscommunication: Avoiding confrontation can cause misunderstandings to fester. When you address things head-on, you clear the air and ensure everyone’s on the same page. 🟢 Fosters Trust: People appreciate honesty. Even if the conversation is difficult, addressing issues with integrity shows you respect both yourself and your colleagues. 🟢 Drives Progress: Problems don’t disappear when we ignore them. In fact, they often get bigger. By addressing them directly, we create opportunities for real solutions and growth. Now, let’s talk about how to do this tactfully. Cause the HOW is huge when it comes to this. When I talk about confrontation, I don’t mean a heated debate so you have to be thoughtful in your approach. Here are 5 ways to turn confrontation into a productive conversation in the workplace: 1️⃣ Start with Empathy: Understand the other person’s point of view first. Approach the conversation with curiosity, not blame. 2️⃣ Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Address behaviors or outcomes, not character flaws. Keep it solution-focused. 3️⃣ Use "I" Statements: Own your feelings. For example, “I feel frustrated when…” vs. “You always…” 4️⃣ Stay Calm & Collected: Keep your emotions in check. If needed, take a breather before speaking. 5️⃣ Offer Solutions: Confrontation without a path forward is just complaining. Be ready to suggest ways to move forward. Other things to consider are the when, where and with whom. Try to time the conversation well and determine the best medium. Maybe Slack isn’t the best mechanism for this type of conversation. Lastly, think about who’s in the room. Think about whether or not this should be a private conversation or if it’s better suited for and with a group. Next time you’re facing confrontation, remember: it’s not about winning, it’s about growing. Don’t shy away from these conversations—they’ll make you, your team, and your business stronger.

Let me share a story from early in my career, which I often reflect on when facing disagreements at work. It was during a team meeting at my first serious job, and I found myself in disagreement with a proposal put forward by a senior leader. The stakes felt high, and the room was tense. Here’s how I navigated the situation: 1. Seeking Clarification: Instead of jumping in with a “that won’t work,” I paused and said, “I see the direction we’re heading, but could you help me understand how we arrived at this approach?” This opened up the floor for the manager to explain their reasoning, and it gave me valuable insights into their thought process. Sometimes, understanding the ‘why’ can change your ‘no’ to a ‘maybe’ or even a ‘yes.’ 2. Expressing Experience: Once I had a clearer picture, I shared my perspective—not as a direct opposition but as an insight. “From what I’ve seen in previous projects, we might encounter some challenges with this strategy. For instance, last year we tried something similar, and we had to pivot because…” Sharing from my experience, rather than imposing my views, made the conversation more about learning from the past rather than confronting the present. 3. Finding Common Ground: Before diving into my reservations, I acknowledged the merits of the proposal. “I agree that targeting this demographic is a smart move, and I see how this strategy aligns with our goals. However, I’m concerned about the scalability based on last year’s metrics.” This not only showed my support for parts of the plan but also softened the introduction to my concerns, facilitating a more receptive discussion. Why This Matters: That day, I learned that disagreeing doesn’t have to be about conflict. It’s about fostering richer discussions that can lead to better decisions. By seeking to understand before being understood, sharing experiences, and finding common ground, we turn potential conflicts into opportunities for growth. It positions us as thoughtful contributors, valued for helping navigate complex decisions. 🔥 Pro Tip: Keep your tone positive and aim to build, not break. It’s about progressing together towards the best outcomes for everyone involved. 👥 Over to You: Have you found certain approaches more effective? #LeadershipSkills #ProfessionalGrowth #WorkplaceCommunication #Teamwork

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

It’s tempting to think that standing up to someone — or standing up for yourself — means signing up for a fight. It doesn’t. You can argue without fighting. You can call someone out without creating drama. You can stand up for yourself without defending yourself. IF you’re willing to embrace a few basic ideas. 1. Let the facts do the work. If the facts are on your side, you rarely need to escalate. We usually end up fighting when we need to advocate for ideas we aren’t totally sure of. Lead with the facts — why you believe you’re right, where you feel wronged, what needs to change — rather than dressing them up with aggression. Being emotional about a conflict is fair. I’m not telling you to be a robot. And emotions are relevant facts, too. But it’s important to share them in that spirit, rather than leading with them. 2. Focus on being understood rather than being right. Being 100% right is a fantasy. It’s also not the point of productive conflict. Winning doesn’t always mean proving your point, or getting the other person to concede. Winning means helping the other person understand you better. And working to understand them better. If you want to “win” your fights, place your empathy, curiosity and vulnerability above your need to be validated. 3. Commit to conflict, not drama. Conflict is discussing an injury or disagreement with thoughtfulness and care, in a way that leads to better insight and a stronger relationship. Drama is attacking a person’s character, engaging in psychological games, and indulging volatile emotions, in a way that’s designed to “win” or create some perverse pleasure. Conflict is about finding harmony and healing in difference. Drama is about playing out patterns and dragging conflict out. Conflict is about resolution. Drama is about pain. If you want to argue productively, lean into conflict and resist drama. If you’re interested in hearing how this idea played out in a listener’s life… Check out episode #904, where we took a question from a guy who got into an epic fight with a selfish guest at a bachelor party. What was interesting about that story was that the listener was 100% right. But the way he handled that conflict needlessly escalated the problem, created a scene, and compromised his relationship with the groom. A classic case of drama over conflict. And a masterclass in what not to do — even when you’re objectively in the right. Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it? Hit the comments and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

I refuse to let being labeled an Angry Black woman stop me from addressing conflict at work. It’s important to not ever keep the feelings you're left with after conflict bottled inside. Here are my 3 golden rules for resolving conflicts without compromising my reputation: 1. Always take a beat. I’ll be honest. There's nothing more infuriating than being undermined, but don't let it change how you show up. Take a beat to process your emotions before responding. For me, this looks like 1-2 days. 2. Once your mind is clear and you aren’t feeling motivated by anger or frustration, invite the other party to a meeting and address it. But when you do, focus on events and behaviors, not personality. 3. In preparation for your meeting, craft a plan. Write out exactly what you will communicate during your next interaction. Address the instance and offer how you both can collaborate and compromise moving forward to achieve your shared goal. Above all else, you have a right to be heard. Do not minimize the moment but show up as the leader you are.

Great PMMs are great communicators. Yet, I've noticed many PMMs shy away from directly communicating issues/conflicts. So here is my 3-step approach to communicating conflicts: Granted, no one likes to confront others or share negative feedback. Earlier in my career, I did everything possible to skirt the problem. But that just led to simmered frustrations and resentment, creating a distrustful work environment for everyone. This is why direct communication is so important: ✅ Open, honest conversations build trust. Sharing difficult things shows our vulnerability. Doing the opposite—burying the problem or talking behind people’s backs—leads to distrust and a breakdown in psychological safety. ✅Constructive feedback is essential for personal and professional development, no matter how uncomfortable. We miss opportunities to grow and improve when we avoid giving or receiving it. This is also an essential leadership skill. ✅ Small issues can turn into significant roadblocks if not addressed. Direct communication can help dispel any misunderstandings quickly and help put the team first. ❓ So how do you confront issues directly the next time you feel someone stole your credit, the product team is keeping you in the dark, or something else? 1️⃣ Focus on the problem and not the person. Before approaching a conversation, take time to organize your thoughts. Focus on specific behaviors or outcomes you observed rather than personal attributes, and stick to the facts. 2️⃣ Choose the right time and place: Timing is everything. You can find a private and neutral setting where you can speak openly without distractions or interruptions. I recommend doing this in a 1-1, after the event has passed a bit (but don’t wait so long that the momentum is lost), so everyone can objectively reflect back on the incident. 3️⃣ Practice active listening: Approach the conversation with empathy and be ready to listen. Be open and ready to receive feedback in turn. Understanding the other person’s perspective can help you reach a mutually beneficial solution. Here is to better communications! What has worked well for you? P.S. The image is of the amazing Liz Fosslien! #productmarketing #growth #career #coaching

Recently, I walked into a disagreement ready to prove my point. I had persuasive data, had researched the topic in depth, and felt confident in my argument. But as soon as I started presenting my case, I realized my approach was backfiring. The other person wasn’t really listening—they were just looking for ways to strengthen their own argument. And, upon reflection, I was doing the same. We both wanted to win. When we have strong convictions, it's natural to roll up our sleeves and argue our case. We want to be heard. We want to be right. But in the process, we often put others on the defensive—escalating conflict rather than fostering real learning. If we genuinely want disagreements to be productive, we need to shift our approach. One way to do this is by using receptive language: Hedging our claims instead of stating absolutes. Emphasizing areas of agreement. Acknowledging other perspectives. Reframing ideas in positive terms. When we are receptive, others are more likely to be receptive too. And if our goal is to be heard, we have a much better chance of that happening when we prioritize understanding over winning. Next time you find yourself in a heated discussion, try this shift. It will turn down the heat—and turn your disagreement into a more productive conversation. #conflict #learning #perspectives #disagreement #opinions #debate #conversation #understanding #listening

When a team member jumps to an angry conclusion. You notice the change in body language. Defenses are raised. People either shut down or attack. The situation blocks constructive conversation. Last night I had a great session about conflict with my Executive cohort at NYU School of Professional Studies. We exchanged ideas on preparing for inevitable conflicts at work—how to show up with intention instead of reacting on autopilot. Here’s what stuck with me: ✔ Preparation starts before the conflict. Deep breathing can regulate your nervous system. One slow inhale can stop a bad reaction before it starts. Prepared phrases to de-escalate, set boundaries, and increase understanding. ✔ Body language matters. Open posture. Uncrossed arms. Calm eyes. Signals safety instead of threat. ✔ Your voice is a tool. Lower tone. Slow pace. Don’t match the other person’s energy—reset the room with your own. ✔ Micro-pauses buy clarity. A one-second pause gives your brain time to think. It helps you respond instead of react. ✔ Lead with validation. Try: “I can see this is frustrating.” It doesn’t mean you agree. It means you’re listening. Conflict isn’t the problem. Unpreparedness is. If you want to build trust, show up prepared. #marketingleadership #conflict