How to Build Stronger Relationships Through Conflict

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

I remember the day my ego almost cost me my biggest career win. Early in my career, I thought the brightest spotlight belonged to me. The one who dazzled with answers. The one who always won the debate. One day, I argued my idea so fiercely in a team meeting, speaking so fast my pulse roared in my ears, blind to the tension coiling tighter around the table. My first instinct? → Keep swinging until I “won.” → Prove my brilliance at all costs. → Shield my fragile title of “the expert.” Instead, I took a breath and said: “Help me see it from your side. I don’t want to bulldoze good ideas.” That one sentence melted walls I hadn’t realized I was building. Two months later, that same team championed my proposal. We launched it company-wide, becoming one of our biggest wins. And it wasn’t because I steamrolled my way through. It was because I learned: No brilliant idea survives a room scorched by ego. Here’s the raw truth most professionals never say out loud: • They think respect is earned by winning arguments. • They mistake stubbornness for strength. • They believe being “easy to work with” is soft or weak. But the most powerful leaders I’ve coached share one trait: They’re masters at removing friction. → They stay open, even when pride stings. → They choose connection over ego. → They know real influence moves like a quiet current under the surface, powerful enough to shift tides. That’s how careers grow, not through endless proving, but through purposeful partnership. The C.H.O.I.C.E.® Framework brings this to life: • Courage: Bite your tongue when ego wants to bite back. • Humility: Admit when you’re creating tension. • Openness: Hear wisdom in opposing views. • Integration: Turn conflict into better solutions. • Curiosity: Ask, “What am I missing that could make this brilliant?” • Empathy: People show up armored in meetings, still aching from old wounds. Don’t be the one who rips them open again. 🛠 3 Ways to Be the Person Everyone Wants on Their Team: ✅ Scan your vibe. → “Am I building bridges or barbed wire?” ✅ Ask disarming questions. → “How could we make this work better for all of us?” ✅ Prioritize people over pride. → “I want us to win as a team. What would that look like for you?” If your brilliance leaves bruises, it’s not leadership. 💭 Who’s the person whose presence feels like oxygen when tension starts choking the room? ♻️ Tag the collaborator who proves kindness and competence aren’t mutually exclusive. ➕ Follow Loren Rosario - Maldonado, PCC for human-centered leadership that leaves no scars.

Why Team Conflicts Don’t Get Resolved— And What Actually Works A leader once told me: “They all smile in meetings. But I can feel the tension. No one’s really talking. And when they do? It’s surface-level. I keep addressing the issue —but it’s like nothing sticks.” The truth? The problem is never the problem. What's happening underneath is the issue. Here’s what I helped him see: — They didn’t feel safe enough to be honest (Connection) — Their roles and expectations had gotten blurred (Definition) — Resentment was piling up without being expressed (Integration) — And collaboration had turned into competition (Collaboration) That’s why most conflict resolution fails. It’s not about finding the perfect solution. It’s about restoring the Core 4 Capacities that make resolution possible: Connection → Create space to speak the unspoken Definition → Clarify who’s doing what—and why it matters Integration → Surface the emotions that quietly sabotage progress Collaboration → Rebuild trust by aligning around shared goals Conflict isn’t a problem to fix. It’s an invitation: ↳to grow stronger ↳to learn to listen ↳to be present ↳to lead ✳️ If your team is stuck in silent tension, let’s talk about rebuilding what matters most. ----- 💡 Follow Julia LeFevre for more Leadership content 📢 DM or email me at julia@braverestoration.org ♻️ Repost to share with your network