How to Respond to Negative Feedback

I'm a big proponent of open and honest feedback. I understand how important it can be to fostering a culture of trust and respect, I appreciate the role it plays in personal development and continuous improvement, and I recognize the value in hearing what my blind spots might be. And it still sucks to hear sometimes. Trust me. I just went through what amounted to a 360 review, and some of the things I learned were painful. Learning how others see me, especially when it doesn't align with how I want to be perceived, can be painful. Hearing the negative impact of my actions on others can make me both uncomfortable and defensive. It's important to sit through that, though. Effective leadership depends on your ability to receive honest feedback with an open mind and a willingness to grow. As difficult as that can be, here are a few things I have had to do recently in the face of tough feedback: ✦ Take a breath - As I mentioned earlier, my first reaction was to defend myself and my actions. Take a breath before responding. Doing this puts some space between the stimulus and the response. ✦ Express gratitude - It takes courage to give a leader tough feedback. Thank the person for their willingness and courage. ✦ Get clarification - Show interest in understanding the feedback. If the comments about your actions are general, ask for specific examples to give you a better idea of what the person means. ✦ Reflect on the feedback - Consider the validity of the feedback. Do they align with your vision of yourself as a leader? Is there room for you to improve in the areas addressed? ✦ Follow through - Take the feedback as a learning opportunity and create a plan for improvement. Then take action. Follow up with the person who provided the feedback to show you value their input. Remember, receiving negative feedback is an inherent part of leadership and personal development. Handling feedback with grace and a growth mindset will lead to increased trust and help create a more successful and cohesive organization. #leadership #trust #growth #feedback

"You completely missed the mark." Getting constructive feedback can feel like a career crisis. Often followed by the knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself. So, as I prepared to deliver feedback to a great staff member, I was bracing myself. Instead, I got a master class in how to receive constructive criticism. As I shared my thoughts with her, she was nodding, and taking notes. And then she said, "Thank you." Compared to the normal defensive body language and "yes, buts" I was used to, she was a model of grace under pressure. Here are 7 strategies that set her apart: 1️⃣ The Shhh... Rule ❌ Immediate emotional reactions ✅ Say "thank you," and sit on it for now 💡Why? ↳ It gives your emotions time to cool down ↳ Once calm, you can objectively process the info 2️⃣ Take Careful Notes ❌ Relying on memory ✅ Write down what you heard word for word 💡Why? ↳ Shows you're taking it seriously ↳ Helps you spot patterns over time 3️⃣ Ask the Right Question ❌ "Why are you criticizing me?" ✅ "What would you like to see instead?" 💡Why? ↳ Clarifies feedback and creates action items ↳ Shows you're solution-focused 4️⃣The Mirror Technique ❌ Guessing their meaning ✅ Reflect back: "What I'm hearing is..." 💡Why? ↳ Catches misunderstandings early ↳ Shows you're actively listening 5️⃣ The Thoughtful Follow-Up ❌ Avoidance ✅ Schedule a check-in 2-3 weeks later 💡Why? ↳ Demonstrates accountability ↳ Builds trust and strengthens the relationship 6️⃣ The Documentation Log ❌ Treat each feedback session as isolated ✅ Keep a feedback journal 💡Why? ↳ Spot recurring themes ↳ Some bosses say they gave feedback and didn't 7️⃣ The Reframe ❌ Taking feedback as personal attacks ✅ Ask yourself: "If my best friend got this feedback..." 💡Why? ↳ Creates emotional distance ↳ Leads to better solutions Most managers want to give feedback because they want you to do better. They're investing their time in your growth. Do you have a tip for handling tough feedback? Share it in the comments👇 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Share to help people with their professional growth 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more career strategies 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!

Over the last few days I've gotten a spate of those emails that just make the blood boil. Continuing to try to improve in how I handle it. Someone I thought I treated fairly who uses the opposite of non-violent communication (is that... violent communication?), that kind of thing. It's possible that on that day, I was the villain in their story -- or that they were suffering with things unrelated to me. Who knows why people do things! I used to torture myself over how to respond to these (fight fire with fire? get witty? ignore?), and now I only gently feel some pain before doing something that's likely more constructive... A few tips I've used: > Most important: I wait to respond until the emotional charge passes. This was a hard one for me to learn over the years, because it's such an emotionally-satisfying release to react. > Imagine that someone else came to me with the dilemma of how to respond... what would I tell them? This exercise often surprises me in how much clarity I can get. (Often, it prompts me to ask: what's my goal in responding? Oh, it's just spite. OK, wait and then rewrite.) > Get input from others I trust. Without "airing laundry," ask a person or two whose perspective you value. They can often calibrate you. ("Did the other person have a point? AITA?") As Dushka Zapata once taught me, you might be able to see everything, but only other people can see you. > Practice empathy. Other than the other person being an [insert insult here], why else might they have responded this way? Different culture? Bad day? It's hard, just try to see it from their perspective and imagine alternatives. Often we respond to our own story of what's happening, which might be false. > Draw, or move, boundaries. You learn something from each interaction with a person, and you can incorporate that into your willingness to engage with them in the future. If it serves your goal to tell them the new boundary, do. Otherwise just implement it. You'll almost never "win" by convincing the other person your perspective was "correct," so just live in your reality, try to adjust it to the facts, and protect your ability to do your best work while being as empathetic toward others as you can muster.

“You don’t have to respond right now.” That’s one of the best nuggets of advice anyone ever shared with me. Here’s the context: I used to go into full-blown I-must-respond-and-fix-this-immediately mode when I got negative feedback. I didn’t give myself time to take a breath. For example, when an article was rejected by a journal, I immediately dug into the negative reviews and tried to address and fix everything. But I wasn’t in the right mindset to do that — I was doing it while feeling powerless, rejected, frustrated, disappointed in myself, stressed. And responding from the state almost always backfired. In most cases, we don’t HAVE to respond right away. We can take a beat — a day, a few days, maybe even a week. (Sometimes we don’t have to respond at all!) Slowing down — not responding right away — allows us to restore of sense of personal power. And that gives us clarity, calm, focus. A runaway train will keep moving until a force is imposed to stop it. To stop the runaway train in my mind, I needed power. Second, sometimes doing nothing is doing something. Doing nothing remind us that we do have some power to slow down the runaway train. Doing nothing allows us to regulate our emotional state. And doing nothing now increases the chance that what we do later will be thoughtful, effective, respectful. Next time you get negative feedback, slow down. Don’t respond. Give yourself the time you need to respond in a way that you feel good about. #selflove #selfcare #selfawareness #psychology #feedback #occasionalaffirmationswithamycuddy

For me, receiving tough feedback never gets easier. But my response has gotten better. Here's what I do: 🧘♀️ Take a breath. Let it sit for a minute before springing to action or discussion. This also helps to right size things.   🌎 Remind myself that everything is arriving via someone else's worldview and filter. Can I sift through and find the facts and pieces that are most objectively helpful?   🌱 Separate my character from my work. My actions and their outcomes may be very different from my values and intentions. This is an opportunity for growth.   🌟 Remember that the most impactful changes I've made at work (and in life) have typically come after some tough feedback. That sick-to-your-stomach feeling usually means you're discovering something new, which usually means there's a path to forward momentum (versus not even knowing what to do or standing still). What do you do?