How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations with Employers

Starting a difficult conversation at work can feel really intimidating and overwhelming. You know it’s necessary, but where do you even begin without causing more issues? 🤔 Thing is, having these conversations is crucial for a healthy workplace. As much as you may want to avoid them, we need them. The good news is, there are ways we can navigate these conversations in a healthy and productive way. So, here are tips to initiate challenging convos: 🎯 Prepare yourself. Before diving in, take some deep breaths to calm your nervous system and a moment to reflect on your goals for the conversation. What is your intention and the ideal outcome? What other ways could this turn out? How can you cope with an outcome that is different from your vision? Going in with a level of clarity in your own mind can lead to a more focused and effective discussion. 🕒 Choose the right time and place. Timing is everything. Find a private, neutral setting where both parties feel comfortable and are less likely to be interrupted. 🗣️ Be clear and direct. Clearly and calmly state the issue but do so with respect and understanding. This can help lower guards and reduce misunderstandings. 🤝 Focus on solutions. Approach the conversation with a solution-oriented mindset instead of just showing up with more problems to call out. I always like to have some ideas of my own and make sure I open the door to hear theirs as well. When you can listen actively to their side, rather than pointing fingers, it encourages a more productive and less defensive dialogue. 🌱 Follow up. After the conversation, check in with the other person. This can help show you’re committed to ongoing support and resolving the issue together. Difficult conversations are part of growth personally and professionally and help us to create a psychologically safe workplace. By approaching them thoughtfully, we can turn challenges into opportunities for understanding and collaboration. 👇 Have you had to start a tough conversation at work? How did you approach it? Share your experiences and tips! Creating norms around difficult conversations tends to come up in our Psychological Safety training programs. DM me to learn more! 🖤 Create a great day! #MakoMindfulness #MindfulnessTraining #StressManagement #PsychologicalSafety #TrainingAndDevelopment #StaffDevelopment

Hard conversations don’t have to be quite so hard if you understand how to approach them — and what to say. Preparation is important. Before the #conversation, give thought to what you want for the relationship. I once had a boss I didn’t fancy all the much (haven’t we all!) When I stopped to consider what I wanted for the relationship, I realized we didn’t have to like each other—but it was important that we respect each other. With that in mind, I started the conversation with a statement of mutual respect and a curious mindset. If you are approaching someone about a behavior, you’d like them to stop, this wording might be helpful: “(Name) I really appreciate X about you. There is one thing I’m curious about though. I’ve noticed you often do Y. Help me understand how Y helps you do Z.” A statement like this mitigates defensiveness and gives insight into why the other person does what they do. You can then share how the behavior impacts you and move to brainstorming a solution. My boss and I never warmed up to each other. But I did get her to stop looking at her watch & rolling her eyes when I arrived at the office at 9:30 am each day implying I was late and lazy. She had never before realized that when she left the office at 3:00 pm, I was still there. And would be until 7:00 pm. Preparation = managing nerves = mutual respect = an easier ‘hard’ conversation. #toughconversations #crucialconversations #courageousconversations

Is it okay to discuss my pay with my employer if I am not satisfied? I had a friend reach out to me asking for advice and decided to share it here. This is also valid for when accepting a job offer. In many professional settings, discussing your salary or compensation can be a sensitive topic. However, open communication is crucial for both employees and employers to ensure job satisfaction and fair remuneration. You and your employer deserve a chance to discuss it. If you find yourself unhappy with your current pay, it may be appropriate to have a conversation with your employer about it. Here are some key points to consider: 1. Timing: Choose an appropriate time to approach the subject. Avoid bringing up the issue during busy periods or when tensions are high. 2. Preparation: Before initiating the discussion, gather relevant information such as industry standards, market rates for similar positions, and any accomplishments or additional responsibilities you have taken on since your last review. Focus on your own performance and avoid discussing your peers' salaries. 3. Professionalism: Maintain a respectful and professional tone throughout the conversation. Focus on facts rather than emotions and avoid making demands or ultimatums. 4. Be specific: Clearly articulate why you believe your current compensation does not align with your contributions or market value. Provide concrete examples of how you have added value to the organization. 5. Listen actively: Give your employer an opportunity to respond and provide their perspective on the matter. Understand that they may need time to evaluate options within company policies and budgets. It's important to prepare for the possibility of a negative response. #greatplacetowork #salarynegotiation #growingtogether

Even as a seasoned executive, I still feel that knot in my stomach before a #tough_conversation. With a team member whose performance is slipping. A peer creating friction. Or a partner across the table when I have to deliver bad news. I’ve learned that avoiding it only erodes trust. A while back, I had to tell a long-time partner that a key project milestone would be missed due to an interconnection delay beyond our control. I knew it would land hard - it meant financial strain for both sides. I could’ve sent an email. Instead, I picked up the phone. I acknowledged their frustration, laid out the facts, and - most importantly - offered options for moving forward. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it preserved the relationship because it became a negotiation, not just bad news. Here’s what works, whether you’re talking to a subordinate, a peer, or a counterparty: - Lead with context, not blame. Show why the conversation matters and connect it to the bigger picture. - Be specific—and bring options. Don’t just drop the problem. Share what’s at stake and what’s possible. - Invite dialogue, not just agreement. Pause. Ask, “How does this feel to you?” or “What’s the best way forward from your perspective?” Even after decades in leadership, I still feel a flicker of discomfort before these talks. But that discomfort is a signal - you’re about to build trust, not lose it. How do you handle the tough talks?

In over two decades of navigating both business and personal landscapes, one lesson stands out starkly: the undeniable power of engaging in tough conversations. Whether it's with clients, team members, or even within our families, addressing hard topics head-on is crucial. 🗣️ Why We Need to Embrace Difficult Dialogues Transparency Builds Trust: When we shy away from difficult discussions, misunderstandings fester, and suspicions grow. Being open and honest clears the air and builds a foundation of trust. Discomfort Leads to Growth: Yes, these conversations can be uncomfortable, even tense. But growth and comfort do not coexist. Embracing the discomfort can lead to significant breakthroughs in relationships and business strategies. Prevent Misinformation: Without clear communication, people often assume the worst. Proactive dialogue prevents misinformation and aligns everyone’s understanding and expectations. 📌 Practical Steps to Engage Effectively: Prepare Thoughtfully: Before initiating a tough conversation, know what you want to achieve. Be clear on the facts and understand the emotional landscape. Listen Actively: This isn’t just about you talking. Listen to the other side, really hear their perspective, and respond thoughtfully. Follow Through: Post-conversation, take agreed-upon actions promptly. This demonstrates commitment and respect for the outcomes of the discussion. 🚀 The Outcome: After the initial discomfort, there’s a collective sigh of relief. Clarity and progress follow. It’s like clearing the air—suddenly, everyone can breathe easier and move forward with renewed energy and understanding. 👥 Invite to Connect: I challenge you to step into these conversations, not step away from them. Have you found tough conversations to be beneficial in your professional or personal life? Share your experiences below or reach out to discuss how we can foster a culture of openness and resilience. #Leadership #Communication #BusinessStrategy #ProfessionalGrowth #ZeevWexler #leadership

Don't shy away from tough conversations, they're the only ones that actually matter. I spent three weeks avoiding a conversation with a key customer who'd gone quiet after our last demo. I kept telling myself they were "just busy" or "evaluating internally." Finally, I called them directly: "I get the sense something didn't land right in our last conversation. Can you help me understand what happened?" Their response changed everything. "Honestly, your solution is impressive, but it solves a problem we had six months ago. Our priorities have completely shifted, and we didn't know how to tell you." That five-minute conversation saved us weeks of follow-up emails and gave us crucial market intelligence about how customer needs were evolving. Here's what I've learned about tough conversations: The longer you wait, the tougher they get. That awkward silence after a proposal isn't going to resolve itself. Address it directly. Most "tough" conversations aren't actually tough. They're just uncomfortable because we're afraid of what we might learn. The information you get is always more valuable than the comfort you preserve. Even brutal feedback moves you forward faster than polite silence. Three conversations I stopped avoiding: "It seems like this isn't a priority anymore. Should we pause?" (Usually reveals the real timeline and decision-making process) "What would need to change for this to be a clear yes?" (Gets to actual objections instead of vague concerns) "Who else needs to be convinced, and what are they worried about?" (Exposes the real decision-making structure) The pattern: Every tough conversation I've delayed has gotten easier once I actually had it. The counterintuitive result: Customers respect directness. They'd rather have an honest conversation than continue a polite charade. What conversation are you avoiding right now? What would happen if you had it this week instead of next month?

Early in my career, I needed to tell a senior executive that his behavior was harming morale. I 𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐃 over how to have this tough talk without endangering my job. There was no easy way around it. This was going to be 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃. Ultimately, we sat down together in a neutral setting. I focused on my desire to see the team thrive. The executive, while surprised, appreciated my honesty. We had an open dialogue, and things improved. It was a growth moment for both of us. 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒! 𝘏𝘖𝘞'𝘋 𝘐 𝘋𝘖 𝘐𝘛? Here are three things that have always worked best for me: 1. 𝐁𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞, not the person. Make it about solving problems, not attacking character. 2. Listen first, then speak. 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 before asking to be understood. 3. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. Align on shared goals and good intentions to prevent discord. Courageous conversations require emotional intelligence, empathy, and care. With the right mindset and approach, you can express yourself effectively while minimizing defensiveness in others. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒇𝒖𝒍? Share one tip below for constructively having necessary but tough talks. I look forward to learning from your experiences!

Every major breakthrough in your life is waiting behind a hard conversation. Most people avoid them. And you shouldn't. Here's how I make hard conversations easy: ↓ 1. The Opportunity: Hard conversations are doors to opportunity. • Clarity on misunderstandings • Deeper connections • New business deals • New relationships Avoiding them keeps you stuck. 2. Facing Fear: The fear of conflict is normal. My first step was acknowledging my fear. I felt anxious and avoided confrontation. Then I realized: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but taking action despite it. 3. The Breakthrough: I remember a time I had to confront a difficult employee about basic expectations after consistently coming in out of uniform. It was nerve-wracking as a new, young manager. But the result led to mutual respect. Curiosity and seeking understanding lay a great foundation. 4. Framework for Success: Here’s my framework for having hard conversations: • Be present. • Prepare your points. • Approach with empathy. • Focus on solutions, not blame. This approach transforms conflict into constructive dialogue. 5. Growth from Discomfort: In my career, I've seen the biggest growth spurts after tough talks. • Negotiating better deals • Resolving team conflicts • Connecting deeper with family • Aligning with clients’ expectations Each uncomfortable talk strengthened my resolve and relationships. 6. Personal Story: One of my hardest conversations was with my wife about balancing work and family. It wasn’t easy, but it brought us closer and improved my quality of life. Remember, vulnerability fosters connection. 7. Practical Tips: Here are practical tips to ease into hard conversations: • Stay calm and composed. • Be aware of your emotions. • Listen more than you speak. • Follow up after the conversation. These tips ensure the discussion is productive and respectful. 8. Embrace the Challenge: Avoiding hard conversations keeps you in your comfort zone. Embracing them leads to growth, both personally and professionally. Challenge yourself to face them head-on. 9. Closing Thought: Next time you're faced with a tough conversation, remember: Everything you want is on the other side of it. Lean in, be brave, and watch your world expand. Let’s Connect: ↓ Got a hard conversation you’re avoiding? 💬 Had a hard conversation impact your life? 💬 Share your story or experience below. ↓ ♻️ Smash that repost button! ♻️ Follow me for more insights and tips! 🔔 Then hit the bell—never miss a post 🔔 P.S. Are you following Brain Apes yet? ↓

🚀🚀Preparing for a tough audience or conversation Anticipating and planning for a tough conversation is key in any line of business. Many times in my career, I’ve had tough conversations. Whether it was an executive launch update when things weren’t going according to plan (yes, it’s happened), a tough customer interaction or a performance discussion with a team member, these conversations went better with planning. With preparation, I was able to turn each of these tough conversations into valuable opportunities. For these tough meetings or audiences I rely on a simple three step strategy:  1. Align your team with a clear and simple story. This ensures that everyone is on the same page regarding our objectives and approach 2. Understand and prepare for the tough questions that might be asked, ensuring your responses address the question and keep the conversation on track. 3. Embrace that it is ok to say ‘I don’t know’. Then, come back with a better response instead of guessing on the spot. After each interaction, take notes on what worked and what didn’t. 💡 Looking for these insights in your key meetings can be an invaluable tool as your career accelerates.  By analyzing these interactions, we can identify recurring themes, both in our strengths and areas of growth. How do we do that? Well that’s another story… What are some strategies you use to prepare for tough conversations and ensure productive outcomes? Share your thoughts in the comments below. #accelerate #healthcare #leadershipdevelopment #businessstrategy #careersuccess #professionalgrowth #effectivecommunication #teamalignment #performancemanagement #careeradvancement #businessinsights #personaldevelopment #goalsetting #professionalsuccess #continuouslearning #leadershipskills