Feedback Delivery and Reception Strategies

The most dangerous kind of feedback isn’t the harsh kind. It’s the kind that sounds fine but changes nothing. Leaders waste hours repeating the same points, wondering why nothing sticks. It’s not laziness on your team’s part. It’s that your words aren’t sparking movement. Here’s what separates feedback that shifts behaviour from feedback that disappears into thin air: 1. Trust before talk:  No trust, no change. People listen with half an ear when they feel judged. 2. Precision over politeness:  “Work on your communication” is vague. Try: “When updates are last-minute, the team scrambles. Sharing earlier would prevent the chaos.” 3. Show strengths before gaps:  When you acknowledge what’s working, people are more willing to improve what isn’t.  For example: “Your presentation was clear and engaging. Adding data at the start would make it even more convincing.” 4. Behaviours, not labels:  Telling someone they’re careless won’t change anything. Showing them the specific action that caused the mistake might. And here are extra ways to make feedback actually land: ➡️Pick the right timing. Feedback in the middle of stress or conflict rarely gets heard. Wait until people are calm enough to absorb it. ➡️ Frame it as a possibility. Instead of only pointing to what went wrong, highlight the potential you see. People lean in when they feel you believe in them. ➡️ Make it a dialogue. Ask “How do you see it?” or “What could help you here?” Feedback works best when it becomes a shared problem-solving moment. ➡️ Anchor to purpose. Connect the feedback to the bigger picture: “When reports are clear, the client trusts us more.” Purpose creates motivation. ➡️ Balance the emotional tone. A steady, calm delivery helps the person stay open. If you sound irritated or rushed, the message gets lost. ➡️ Close with next steps. Clarity comes from knowing exactly what to try next and when you’ll review it together. Feedback is either a lever for growth or a loop you get stuck in. The choice is in how you deliver it. When you give feedback, do you focus more on safety, clarity, or motivation? #feedback #difficultconversations #work

Your brain can't process praise and criticism simultaneously. That's why traditional feedback methods are harmful. But there's ONE discovery that creates growth, not resistance: Direct. Then Connect. Neuroscience shows our brains process praise and criticism through completely different neural pathways. That's why the "feedback sandwich" fails so spectacularly. When we buffer criticism with praise... The brain cannot process these mixed signals effectively. People see through it anyway. Studies show 74% of professionals detect sandwich feedback within seconds. Having directly managed 300+ people and coached over 100 founders on leadership and culture, I’ve seen the real impact of feedback. Here’s what works... Two simple steps: 1. DIRECT: First, get permission and deliver unfiltered feedback. "May I share some observations about your presentation?" Then state exactly what needs improvement. This activates voluntary participation, and increases receptivity greatly. 2. CONNECT: Then, separately reaffirm their value "Your contributions remain vital to our success." The key? Complete separation between these steps. Direct feedback gives a clean signal about what needs to change. Connection maintains psychological safety. They know their status isn't threatened. Getting permission isn’t a minor detail - it’s crucial. It fosters respect and trust before you give tough feedback. Setting the stage for it to land well. The neuroscience behind this is clear: A Gallup study shows regular feedback mechanisms result in 14.9% increase in employee engagement and a 21% increase in profitability. Companies implementing this see remarkable results: • Cisco saw 54% faster resolution of team conflicts • Adobe reported 30% reduction in employee turnover • Pixar found 22% higher willingness to challenge assumptions • Microsoft under Nadella accelerated deployment cycles by 31% The traditional sandwich approach can feel safer, but it creates distrust. Direct Then Connect can feel scarier, but it builds psychological safety. Humans are wired to prioritize belonging above almost everything. When feedback threatens our status, our brains go into protection mode. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. Implementing this approach requires courage. You have to trust your relationship is strong enough to handle direct feedback. But that's the paradox: By being more direct, you actually build stronger relationships. Try it with your team this week. You might feel uncomfortable at first, but watch what happens to your culture. When feedback becomes clear and non-threatening, learning accelerates. And companies that learn faster win. - If you liked this post? Follow us for more insights on conscious leadership and building companies from the inside out. Proud to coach with Inside-Out Leadership: executive coaching by trained coaches who have founded, funded, scaled, & sold their own companies.

In any collaborative environment, providing constructive and thoughtful feedback is a skill that can elevate both individuals and teams. Here's a quick guide to mastering the art of giving good feedback: Address the behavior or outcome you want to discuss with precision. Specific feedback is more actionable and easier to understand. Additionally, provide feedback as close to the event as possible, ensuring its relevance and impact. -Begin by acknowledging what went well. Positive reinforcement sets a constructive tone and helps the recipient understand their strengths, fostering a more receptive mindset for improvement. -Frame your feedback in a way that encourages growth rather than focusing solely on mistakes. Offer solutions or alternatives, guiding the individual toward improvement. Avoid personal attacks and maintain a professional, supportive tone. -Express your feedback from a personal perspective using "I" statements. This approach helps avoid sounding accusatory and emphasizes your observations or feelings about the situation. -Critique actions and behaviors rather than judge the person's character. This helps the individual understand what specific actions can be adjusted or improved. -Feedback should be a two-way street. Encourage the recipient to share their perspective, thoughts, and potential solutions. A collaborative discussion fosters a sense of ownership and commitment to improvement. -A healthy feedback mix includes both positive reinforcement and developmental guidance. Recognize achievements and strengths while offering insights into areas for growth. This balance creates a well-rounded view and motivates continuous improvement. -Pay attention to your tone and body language when delivering feedback. A respectful and empathetic approach enhances the impact of your message. Ensure your feedback aligns with your intention to support and guide rather than criticize. -Effective feedback doesn't end with delivery. Follow up to check progress, provide additional guidance, and show ongoing support. This reinforces the idea that feedback is a continuous process aimed at improvement. -Just as you provide feedback, be open to receiving feedback on your communication style. Continuous improvement applies to everyone, and being receptive to constructive criticism enhances your ability to provide effective feedback in the future. Remember, the goal of good feedback is to inspire growth and improvement. By incorporating these principles, you contribute to a positive and collaborative environment where individuals and teams can thrive. What would you add?

After 15+ years as a Chief People & Culture Officer for Fortune 100 & 500 companies, I’ve seen firsthand that delivering feedback is both an art and a science. I’ve managed teams ranging from 5 to 1,000, and if there’s one thing I know for sure—it’s that great feedback isn’t just about what you say. It’s also about when and how you say it. Mastering this skill takes time and intention, but here are five of my best lessons from years of real-world leadership: Be specific & timely – Don’t wait for annual reviews. Celebrate wins or address issues in real-time. Focus on behavior, not personality – “Your report was late” is more actionable than “You’re unreliable.” Listen more than you speak – Feedback should be a dialogue, not a monologue. Follow up – Show you value the conversation by checking in later. Lead by example – Be open to feedback yourself. It sets the tone for your team. A feedback-rich culture starts at the top. Leaders, how you give (and receive) feedback shapes your entire organization. And the best teams embrace feedback that flows both ways. What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned about giving or receiving feedback at work?

A core leadership skill? Giving feedback that’s clear, honest, and direct. Most leaders know this, and can articulate why it matters and what the benefits are. And yet… many still struggle to do it. Just this week alone, I’ve coached several leaders wrestling with this exact challenge. The reasons vary: — They feel ill-equipped to deliver it — They fear the receiver’s reaction — They’re unsure how direct is too direct — They lack clarity on what to say—or a structure for how to say it When those moments arise, I offer a simple, practical framework to equip leaders to prepare and deliver feedback with candor and care. Here are the 5 steps I share: 1. Clarify the Purpose Why does this conversation matter—for the person, the team, or the business? 2. Ground in Facts and Impact Focus on what you’ve observed, what’s expected, and the impact of the gap. 3. Structure the Message Use a short, direct script that communicates both expectations and support. 4. Prepare for Reactions Think ahead about how the other person may respond—and how you’ll stay grounded. 5. Align on Next Steps Set clear expectations for what needs to change, and agree on how progress will be tracked. Giving feedback isn’t about being harsh—it’s about being responsible. And when done right, it builds trust, not tension. What’s your go-to strategy for direct feedback that actually works? How do you overcome the fear and discomfort that comes with offering constructive input? #leadershipdevelopment #executivecoaching #managerskills #radicalcandor

🤔 Why does giving feedback feel so uncomfortable, and why do we often perceive it as being "mean"? Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth—yet it’s also one of the hardest to give. Why? The answer lies in both our psychology and neurology. 🧠When we prepare to give feedback, our brain's amygdala kicks into overdrive, triggering a fear response. We worry about damaging relationships, being perceived as critical, or hurting someone's feelings. This is compounded by the way we’re wired for empathy through mirror neurons, which make us deeply uncomfortable when we anticipate someone else’s distress. But here’s the catch: avoiding feedback doesn’t help anyone grow. In fact, it denies the recipient an opportunity to learn and improve. So, how do we change the perception of feedback from "mean" to "meaningful"? ✅ Reframe Feedback as a Gift: Feedback is about helping others succeed, not about pointing out flaws. ✅Focus on Specificity and Impact: Use tools like the SBI Model (Situation-Behavior-Impact) to keep the conversation constructive and actionable. ✅Lead with Empathy: Start by recognizing strengths and expressing genuine belief in the person’s potential. ✅Normalize a Feedback Culture: Make feedback part of everyday conversations rather than rare, high-stakes moments. ❤️Remember, feedback isn’t a criticism—it’s an act of care. When done thoughtfully, it builds trust, fosters growth, and strengthens relationships. Let’s rethink feedback. How do you approach giving or receiving feedback in your personal or professional life? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments! #Leadership #GrowthMindset #FeedbackCulture #PsychologyOfFeedback

Delivering feedback shouldn't be a struggle... But it often is. Most leaders skip one key thing - clarity. To give feedback that actually works, you need a plan: 1. Interrogate Reality. Describe what you’ve observed, factually. No assumptions, just specific actions. 72% of employees want weekly feedback. 2. Explain the Impact. Connect the behavior to its impact on others. Make sure they see the effect of their actions. Feedback focused on actions boosts engagement 89%. 3. Engage in Dialogue. Encourage open discussion and active listening. Ask questions, then pause - let them respond. 60% of employees value feedback with active listening. 4. Confront Issues, Not Individuals. Focus on actions, not personal traits. Address constructively to keep things productive. Empathy keeps feedback centered on growth. 5. Set Next Steps and Accountability. Define actions, timelines, and responsibilities. This ensures alignment and commitment. Regular, clear follow-ups reinforce accountability. Stay calm, embrace silence, and build trust. Safe spaces lead to proactive problem-solving. It's not just what you say; it’s how you guide growth. Follow Jonathan Raynor. Reshare to help others.

The sandwich method is dead. Your team knows when you're cushioning. They see through the compliment-criticism-compliment formula. Their brain leaves your office half happy, half confused. And worse - they stop trusting you. True feedback is clear and honest. Here are 5 steps to provide clear feedback: - Be direct about what needs improvement. - Focus on actions, not personal traits. - Use specific examples to illustrate your point.  - Encourage questions to clarify understanding.  - Offer support for improvement. Try these 5 much effective models to give clear feedback: The SBI Model:  → Situation: Describe what happened.  → Behavior: Focus on actions, not thoughts.  → Impact: Share the effect on the team or project. The Start-Stop-Continue Model:  → Start: Suggest new actions to take.  → Stop: Identify what’s not working.  → Continue: Praise what is going well. The Radical Candor Framework:  → Care Personally: Show empathy.  → Challenge Directly: Be honest and clear. The Feedforward Model:  → Focus on the future.  → Ask how to improve next time. The CLEAR Model:  → Clarify: Define the issue.  → Listen: Hear their side.  → Explore: Find solutions together.  → Agree: Set next steps.  → Review: Follow up to check progress. Each one builds confidence, accountability, and stronger performance conversations. 👉 What feedback have you been avoiding because you don't know how to say it clearly AND kindly? ♻️ Share and help your network provide effective feedback. 🔔 Ring the bell to get my posts.

Feedback is all about how you deliver the message, right? WRONG!!! Funnily enough it takes two to tango, and participate in feedback. Effective feedback is a very deliberate and mindful occupation. Up until now I haven't met anyone for whom it's fully automatic. We're programmed to understand the role of the giver, not so much the bi-directional nature. Trust - is important, as the intention. To be trusted, be clear on the intention. It'll come out either way. Specificity - provides focus all round and ensures both parties can have a boundaried discussion. Timeliness - isn't about rushing in, it's about knowing when is best for both. Listening - pardon? Exactly, and like all aspects of feedback, this too is a team sport. Alignment - supporting the specificity is aligning the feedback to something the receiver cares about. If not, what's the point? Emotion - can run high so being able to hold yourself steady, and narrating when you're feeling wobbly, is a great way to keep the discussion balanced. Expectations - when unclear create gaps which the feedback can fall in. Follow-up - is really great to see how things are going and shows that you both care. In short, #feedback has a lot to it and #SelfAwareness is very helpful throughout. It's NOT just about giving, it's super important to tune into how to receive. Follow me, Paul Dykes, for real life, applicable, authentic thoughts, nuggets, experiences, stories - all to do with life, leadership and careers. #GrowthCoaching #LifeCoaching #LeadershipCoaching #CareerCoaching #Curiosity

𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸. Ever had a team member shut down when you tried to help? You said it with the best intentions… but they still took it personally. And now you hesitate to bring things up at all. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀 — feedback isn’t a message problem. It’s a delivery problem. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝘅: 👇 16 steps to give feedback without making them defensive So you don’t just correct behavior — you grow trust. 📌 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺. Use it as a checklist before your next tough conversation. 🧩 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀: Each step is grounded in coaching psychology — so your feedback lands without breaking the bond. 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼: ✔ Ask permission before giving feedback ✔ Focus on facts, not flaws ✔ Separate the person from the issue ✔ Invite reflection instead of resistance ✔ End with support, not silence I’ve coached hundreds of leaders on this exact skill — and when it clicks, the culture transforms. ✅ 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸? 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter and get your free copy of “The DNA of Influence™” – a practical guide to winning trust, correcting with care, and leading with respect. 👉 [𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀] 🧠 What’s the one step from the infographic you wish your past manager had used with you? 𝗟𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 👇 #emotionalintelligence #leadershiptransitions #dnaofinfluence  #peakimpactmentorship #leadership