The 4 Skills That Will Change Your Attitude—and Your Results

I’ve spent my entire life studying peak performance. And I’ve found that almost everyone wants to be a peak performer—someone who reaches their goals, inspires others, and lives with purpose.

But here’s the truth: they don’t always know how to get there.

They try to hit their fitness goals, earn more money, improve their relationships, or advance their careers—but without the attitude that fuels all those things. And without that attitude, they run out of steam.

The good news? You can build a positive, powerful, barrier-breaking attitude—anytime, anywhere—if you practice a few simple skills. I’ve boiled them down to four phrases.

► 1. Assume the Positive

When setbacks hit—and they will—don’t instantly conclude that you’ve failed.

Missed a workout last week? That doesn’t mean your fitness goal is over. Had a disagreement with a co-worker? That doesn’t mean the relationship is ruined.

Instead, take a step back and see the bigger picture.

The Chinese philosopher Lin Yutang told a famous story about an old man whose horse ran away. His neighbors called it bad luck. He asked, “How do you know it’s bad luck?” 

Later, the horse returned with more horses—good luck? Again, he asked, “How do you know?” 

The man’s son broke his leg riding one of the new horses—bad luck? “How do you know?” 

When a war broke out, his son’s injury kept him from serving—good luck again.

The lesson? Don’t rush to label events as good or bad.

Today, we see the same pattern. A job loss can open the door to a better career. A health scare can motivate a complete lifestyle change.

When you train yourself to look for the upside—even when it’s hidden—you keep your mind open and your attitude strong.

That’s one reason people leave my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program with an unshakable positive outlook. Senior financial services manager Kenneth Frisco said, “I changed my attitude as a result of your program. Now I look at things positively and act with enthusiasm. I can accept criticism as a method to change for the better.”

Carolyn Maddox, from Buck-N-Bass Sports Center, told me, “I’ve learned how to teach my employees how to have a positive attitude. And I’m more convinced than ever that being positive is a key to success.”

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► 2. Maintain Perspective.

Big challenges—like losing a job or facing health problems—are tough. But it’s often the small stuff that eats away at your attitude: slow checkout lines, traffic jams, computer glitches, or the coffee order that comes out wrong.

Letting little irritations pile up is like letting tiny holes sink a ship.

I learned this during a 100-mile bike-a-thon. I was complaining about my sore feet and aching back—until another cyclist sped past me… with no legs, riding a specially designed hand-powered bike. Suddenly, my “huge” problem shrank to nothing.

Here’s a quick mental trick: when something bugs you, ask yourself, “Will this matter next week? Next year? In five years?” Most of the time, the answer is no. And when you realize that, you free up your energy for what really matters.

Next time your Wi-Fi drops during a Zoom call or you have to wait 15 minutes for a table, breathe, smile, and remind yourself—you’ve survived worse. Perspective keeps

► 3. Decide to Succeed

A winning attitude is a decision, not an accident. Nobody hands you a positive winning attitude. You choose it.

That means you don’t just hope things will work out—you commit to making them work out.

Torivio Ortega is a perfect example. He saw that migrant farm workers needed an attorney who understood their struggles. With no college degree, he took a GED, got into law school, and graduated. But he failed the bar exam—five times. Most people would have quit. Torivio didn’t, because he’d already decided to succeed. On his sixth try, he passed. And he went on to serve his clients for decades.

The takeaway? Deciding to succeed changes the way you show up. You work harder, bounce back faster, and keep looking for solutions.

You can do this in small ways starting today:

• If you’re starting a new diet, tell yourself, “I will stick with this until it becomes second nature.”

• If you’re learning a skill, decide in advance, “I will be competent at this, no matter how long it takes.”

• If you’re in a rough season, remind yourself, “This is temporary—and I will come out stronger.”

The decision comes first; the results follow.

► 4. Believe in Yourself

No one else can believe for you. You have to choose to trust yourself—your instincts, your abilities, your worth.

Poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

One of the fastest ways to strengthen that trust is to change the way you talk to yourself. As leadership expert Sheila Murray Bethel put it, “Your internal dialogue has more to do with your success than any other factor.”

That means cutting the word “can’t” out of your vocabulary.

A fourth-grade teacher named Donna showed her students how. She asked them to write down everything they thought they couldn’t do—kick a soccer ball past second base, do long division, get a certain classmate to be friendly. They put the papers in a box, buried it in the schoolyard, and marked the spot with an “RIP” sign.

From then on, whenever a student said, “I can’t,” Donna would point to the sign. The student would quickly rephrase: “I can … I will … and I’m starting right now.”

That simple exercise transformed their attitudes and results—and it can work for you too.

Try this: Every time you hear yourself saying, “I can’t,” pause. Replace it with, “I can if I learn how” or “I can if I keep trying.” That tiny change plants seeds of self-belief that grow into confidence.

Bottom line: All victories—big or small—start with a winning attitude. And you can have one if you remember these four skills:

1. Assume the Positive

2. Maintain Perspective

3. Decide to Succeed

4. Believe in Yourself

You don’t need perfect circumstances, endless motivation, or natural talent. You just need the daily discipline to practice these skills until they become habits.

And here’s the best part—you can start right now, in the next hour, with whatever challenge is in front of you.

Warmly, Dr. Alan Zimmerman Author, Speaker, Encourager www.DrZimmerman.com