Burnout Isn’t Just About Doing Too Much – It’s About Losing Contact with Yourself

Burnout’s become a bit of a buzzword, especially in coaching circles and leadership spaces. But most of the time, we’re still missing the point. It’s not just about overwork. Burnout is what happens when you lose touch with yourself. When you stop listening to the body. When you override what you really need. When the very practices that keep you sane get pushed to the bottom of the list.

Here’s the bit people don’t always say out loud: if you keep ignoring those early signs - tight chest, creeping resentment, low-level dread - you’re heading towards a cliff edge. The nervous system doesn’t lie. It’s built for survival, not constant hustle. And once you’re stuck in fight, flight or freeze, you lose access to your better self. Creativity narrows. Compassion goes offline. Even your sense of humour takes a hit.

Embodiment isn’t a luxury, or some soft add-on. It’s practical. It’s necessary. If you want to do meaningful work without falling apart, you’ve got to know what’s happening in your system. Learning to recognise when you’re pushing too far isn’t weakness. It’s intelligence. And no, grinding yourself into the ground isn’t noble - it’s just unsustainable.

There’s a strange badge-of-honour culture around exhaustion, particularly in high-performance spaces. People quietly compete over how “busy” they are, as if depletion proves dedication. But strength often shows up as knowing when to pause. When to say no. When to step back and breathe. And when you respect your own limits, it sends a powerful signal to others. It creates a better culture, whether you're leading a team or parenting a child.

So what helps?

Catch the early signals - irritability, disconnection, that moment when everything feels like too much.

Don’t wait for burnout to hit before you rest. Build in pauses. Make space.

Do something that actually brings you back to yourself. A short walk, a few deep breaths, a shake-out, whatever works.

Create environments where people can talk honestly about how they’re doing - no spin, no performance.

Stop playing at resilience, and start practising recovery.

Whether you’re coaching others, running a business, or just trying to get through the day without losing the plot, this isn’t about soft skills. It’s about integrity. Because when you’re disconnected from yourself, your work suffers. Your relationships suffer. And ultimately, you suffer.

And let’s be clear: burning out doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your system has been trying to tell you something for a while, and it’s time to listen. It’s not a failure - it’s feedback.

Resilience isn’t about bouncing back on command. It’s about coming back to yourself. Again and again. Especially when it’s messy. Especially when you’re under pressure. That’s where real leadership starts - not with another clever hack, but with the courage to feel what’s real and respond accordingly.

If this hits home, you’re not alone. The good news? It’s not too late to turn things around. But it does start with a pause.