Be Careful To Romance The Past

Awful leadership, traumatic environments, failed business ventures, bad partnerships, a lack of promotion opportunities, and more. So things didn't go the way you expected, you ended up pivoting and going a different direction. You told all of your friends and family how it went down and how miserable you were. You swore to everyone that you would never put yourself in that situation again, and that it is healthier for you to move on to the next chapter.

Then, as the months go by, you begin to romance the past.

You start making excuses. You begin saying things like, "It wasn't that bad." And you start giving some thought to putting yourself right in that same position again.

The further we get away from a situation, the more likely we are to romanticize the past.

In some scenarios, it's ok to do this. You might need a second opportunity to prove to yourself that the next chance is the right chance, but in many scenarios, going back to that same well again is a waste of time, and something you should avoid.

You already left once for a reason. Maybe even two or three reasons. So why are you trying to convince yourself that going back is some kind of unfinished business you need to resolve? It’s not closure you’re after. It’s comfort. And comfort is dangerous when it talks you into forgetting the reality you fought so hard to escape.

The mind does this weird thing. It edits. It filters. It crops out the pain and zooms in on the pieces that felt good for a moment. You start remembering the one manager who did support you, the paycheck that made things easier, or the way it felt to have a title people recognized. You forget the Sunday dread. You forget how drained you were at the end of every day. You forget the version of you that was barely holding it together.

This is how people get stuck in cycles. They don’t just repeat history. They convince themselves that this time will be different, without changing anything about the foundation. The system, the structure, the leadership, the values, all still the same.

But you re-enter it thinking your mindset alone can fix a broken environment.

Let’s be clear. You’re not weak for missing what felt familiar. You’re human. But if you’re not careful, you’ll start mistaking familiarity for alignment. You’ll walk back into a burning building because someone put up new curtains and told you they remodeled.

Sometimes you need to remind yourself of the whole truth, not just the parts you miss. Write it down. The late nights, the toxic boss, the way your creativity got buried, the way you stopped trusting yourself. Put it all in front of you and ask, is this really something I want to re-enter, or is this just fear trying to play it safe?

You don’t owe anyone a return. You don’t need to prove you can survive it again. You already did that once. What you owe yourself now is forward motion. Not a re-run of the same chapter you already lived through.

by Scott Bond

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