Choose to be Kind

I witnessed a reaction from a colleague which I believed was not their best version. So I worked myself up to teach them what I believed was “the right way”. But instead of connection, I stirred up resistance - and I ended up getting defensive of my world view in the process.

As I reflect, my insistence on being right feels… “really small” and it made me think of Dr. Wayne W. Dye quote in the movie Wonder:

“If you have a choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.”

It’s simple, and it cuts deep. Here's what I’ve been thinking about since then.

1. Questions Are Kinder Than Answers

I’ve often jumped to solve things, after all, I’m a fire-figher. But looking back, I wonder what would’ve shifted if I’d asked a gentle question instead of offering instruction.

Socrates, the great philosopher, rarely taught by telling—he taught by asking. He created space for others to explore their own truth.

What if I had simply asked: “How are you seeing this?”

That might have been more generous than any advice.

2. History’s Quiet Warning: Agent Orange

During the Vietnam War, American forces used Agent Orange, convinced it was a necessary tactic. It stripped forests—but also poisoned the land, the water, and generations of people.

It wasn’t done with malice—but with conviction.

Conviction that didn’t pause to ask: What will this cost others?

That’s the danger of being “right” without being kind. It echoes—even in the small ways we move through daily life.

3. The Wisdom of Stepping Back

There’s power in leadership, yes—but there’s also power in restraint.

Herminia Ibarra teaches that the best leaders know when to take charge—and when to step back. Yesterday, I didn’t. But today, I tried again.

I sent a quiet message:

“I think I may have pushed too hard yesterday. I’m here now. What do you need?”

That felt better. Softer. More human.

4. Thich Nhat Hanh: The Practice of Gentle Power

His teachings are like a whisper that recalibrates the soul. Here are four that are helping me hold this moment with more grace:

1. Deep Listening - Let others speak without rushing to fix or judge

2. Loving Speech - Speak truth with warmth, not weight

3. Inter-being - Remember: we are all connected, always affecting each other

4. Peaceful Action - Kindness is action, but without force

His wisdom reminds me: kindness isn’t weakness.

It’s a mindful strength—a way to honour truth and tenderness.

Final Thought

It’s not easy to choose kindness over certainty. But the world feels softer - and stronger - when I do.

So today, I choose kindness. Not because I’m unsure, but because I want us both to grow.