Coaching the Problem, Not the Person: A Guide to Leading with Insight

It’s a classic leadership misstep: Something goes wrong, and the knee-jerk reaction is to assume it’s them. The employee didn’t care enough. The team wasn’t skilled enough. Someone messed up. Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Jumping to conclusions about people before understanding the problem is like blaming the weatherman for the rain. Sure, it’s convenient, but it doesn’t solve anything. Great leaders know effective coaching starts by focusing on the problem, not the person.

Why We Blame People First

There’s psychological comfort in pointing the finger at someone. It feels tidy. If Bob didn’t miss the deadline and Sally didn’t miscommunicate, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Problem identified, problem solved. Or so it seems.

The reality? Most issues aren’t purely “people problems.” They’re systems, processes, or communication problems masquerading as personal failures. And until you dig deeper, you’re not fixing anything, you’re just reshuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

Separate the Person from the Problem

Before we get too deep, let’s be clear: People make mistakes. That’s unavoidable. But the way to address those mistakes is by coaching through the lens of the problem, not the person. Here’s how:

1. Start with the Problem, Not the Culprit

When something goes wrong, resist the urge to play detective and find “who did it.” Instead, focus on understanding what happened. Ask questions like:

• Which process broke down?

• Which resources were missing?

• Which assumptions did we make?

The goal is to find the root cause, not the nearest scapegoat.

2. Provide Clear Outcomes and Expectations

Leaders must provide absolute clarity on expected outcomes. Often, misunderstandings arise because expectations weren’t explicitly explained or agreed upon. Remember, expectations are like a handshake, they must be clearly stated, understood, and accepted by both parties to have teeth. Only then can accountability genuinely occur.

3. Remove Emotion from the Equation

It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t go as planned. But emotions can cloud judgment and lead to unfair blame. Approach problems with curiosity instead of criticism.

Try this: Instead of saying, “Why didn’t you…” say, “Can you walk me through what happened?” You’ll be surprised how much more insight you gain when people don’t feel attacked.

4. Coach the System, Not Just the Individual

If someone missed a deadline, is it because they’re disorganized or because the timeline was unrealistic? If communication failed, is it because someone was careless or because expectations weren’t clear?

Addressing systemic issues means you not only solve the immediate problem but also prevent similar issues from happening again.

The Ripple Effect of Problem-Focused Coaching

When you coach the problem instead of the person, something remarkable happens:

• Employees feel safe to admit mistakes.

• Teams become more solution-oriented.

• You uncover insights about your processes, culture, and systems that you might have otherwise missed.

Most importantly, you build trust. People stop feeling constantly under scrutiny and start seeing you as a partner in solving challenges.

A Real-Life Example

Let’s say a key project fell behind schedule. The instinct might be to call out the project manager for “poor time management.” But what if you paused to examine the problem first?

• Was the project scope clearly defined?

• Did the team have the resources they needed?

• Were priorities shifted halfway through?

By addressing these questions, you might discover that the delay wasn’t a failure of the project manager, but a breakdown in communication or an unrealistic timeline. By focusing on clarity and alignment around expectations, you set the stage for smoother projects in the future.

A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

The next time something goes wrong, take a breath and remember: The problem is rarely just the person. It’s the process, the system, the assumptions, or even the leader (yes, that might mean you).

Focusing on the problem and clarity of expectations leads to better solutions and builds a culture where people feel empowered to innovate, communicate, and own their work without fear of blame.

Final Thoughts

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions and providing clear expectations. And the most important question you can ask when faced with a challenge is, “What’s the problem here?”

Because when you focus on the problem instead of the person, and clearly articulate and agree upon expectations, you’re not just coaching. You’re creating an environment where everyone can thrive. That’s leadership at its best.

Do you have stories about coaching the problem, not the person? What are your top tips or pain points? Drop a comment below to get the conversation started!