When Love Becomes a Cage: A Ride, A Conversation, A Realization

Yesterday, I met a young, enthusiastic boy who drove me back home in his Uber. He was from Kolkata. Soon after I boarded the cab, he started talking to me not just out of politeness, but with an energetic charm and a deep will to strike a conversation. I was tired and exhausted, but couldn't resist his childlike curiosity "to know and show the world" who we are (or want to be) curiosity. His questions, stories, and insights were sincere, vibrant, and full of life.

He was very well spoken, full of dreams, enthusiasm and well travelled too. I learned that every 3-4 months he switches cities in India to work and be at a new place not just to earn, but to experience life. He shared reflections about each city with a thoughtful eye, spoke of cultures, languages, food. It felt like I was in conversation with someone much older in spirit.

I kept admiring his will to live and curiosity to know the world, he even showed me his English notes which he made out of self study and learning through online tutorials. While I was being audience to all his intelligence and talents, but the only build up in my head was: Why is someone this curious, this capable, this alive, behind the wheel of a cab, and not out there chasing the life he dreams of?

To which I started responding back in bits to his stories to seek answers to my build up and to understand the gap between his talents and his reality, only to understand that his parents are discouraging him to complete his education which is the main driving force of his actions and reality right now. They discourage his dreams, asking him to simply work and survive. And that’s what he is doing right now surviving, not yet thriving.

My heart sank! I struggled to find words, that lump-in-the-throat moment when you're hit by how unfair life can be to the most deserving. His wings were built to fly. But like many others, they were clipped by the very hands that were meant to nurture them.

As kids we are unaware how much we see ourselves and the world around, through the eyes of our parents. And that's why we are not able to see the true person behind this relation, who at times (being humans) only operate out of their fears, unhealed stories and insecurities which get trickled down and reflected in their parenting by default.

We start seeking validation of our dreams, from the external world when we do not get the required love and support for them in our internal world.          

So, if I be less indirect, poetic, filtered and allow myself against all ideals to directly put it across:

Have you ever realized that love and relations are your biggest enemy when it comes to following your dreams?

You don’t have to answer that in comments or messages. But do sit with that question when you’re alone. You might just unlock a truth that Breakfree you in your journey from survival to existence.