The Customer Is (not) Always Right

In 2024, we are witnessing an explosion of viral clips showcasing toxic customer behavior. Entitled customers berate staff in cafes, retail stores, and airlines, only to be confronted by managers who stand up for their employees, sometimes even escorting abusive customers off the premises. These moments go viral because they challenge a longstanding dogma: "The customer is always right."

While many customers and employees interact respectfully, the rise in negative encounters affecting businesses and their staff cannot be ignored.

So, where did this toxic culture come from? Why has it become a trend for managers to defend their staff? And more importantly, why is this defense necessary in the first place?

The Rise of the Toxic Customer

For decades, businesses have perpetuated the idea that customers are kings, deserving of unwavering service—even at the expense of employee well-being. This gave customers unprecedented power, amplified today by social media.

Nowadays, a dissatisfied customer can tarnish a brand's reputation with a single post. Companies fear this power so much that they often sacrifice their employees on the altar of public opinion. 

But the consequences of this approach are becoming increasingly evident.

The Numbers Don't Lie

Employee well-being and customer satisfaction are directly linked. A 1% increase in employee satisfaction correlates with a 0.3% rise in customer satisfaction—a clear sign that prioritizing employee well-being pays off not only ethically but financially. Yet, incidents like the Applebee’s scandal show how far we are from this ideal.

High turnover rates plague businesses due to poor workplace morale and stress.

Frontline workers face escalating demands, with 41% of employees reporting stress and burnout from dealing with difficult customers.

You can’t empower customers at the expense of employees and then expect a psychologist to fix the damage

The "customer is always right" mantra, once a tool to prioritize customer satisfaction, has been twisted into a weapon. Some customers wield their power—especially their ability to post negative reviews or create viral complaints—against frontline employees who are left defenseless.

This toxic dynamic not only harms employees but also undermines the very customer satisfaction companies aim to achieve.

Transactional Relationships and Corporate Policy Backfires

For years, companies focused on quick profits, turning customer service into a bureaucratic nightmare for complaints while pushing seamless purchasing experiences. In their relentless pursuit of pleasing customers, businesses have reinforced exploitative behavior by always siding with the customer, even when the customer’s actions are unreasonable or abusive.

The obsession with customer ratings gave consumers unchecked power, incentivizing manipulative behaviors to secure discounts or perks. Fueled by years of feeling undervalued by corporations—due to frustrating customer service processes and impersonal interactions—some customers now exploit their newfound power.

They leverage platforms like Yelp, Twitter, or TikTok to demand freebies or special treatment under the threat of public shaming. They demand excessive compensations for minor inconveniences, and a few even treat employees as disposable tools rather than people.

This environment creates a cycle of distrust and exploitation, eroding the foundation of respectful customer and employee relationships.

The Human Cost

Frontline employees bear the brunt of this toxic environment. Many are subjected to verbal abuse, condescension, and even threats—all under the pressure to "keep the customer happy." The imbalance leaves employees feeling unsupported and devalued.

The impact extends beyond individual well-being, affecting overall culture, engagement, and productivity within organizations.

The Applebee’s Tipping Scandal: A Case Study in Who’s Always Right

In February 2013, a now-infamous incident at Applebee’s highlighted the fragile balance between corporate customer service policies and employee rights. Chelsea Welch, a server at an Applebee’s in St. Louis, Missouri, encountered a shocking note while serving a table of nine. The customer, a female pastor, had written on the receipt, “I give God 10%, why do you get 18?”—followed by a bold, glaring “0” in the tip line.

Offended by what she perceived as religious discrimination and blatant disrespect, Chelsea decided she would no longer serve the customer. Feeling the need to voice her frustration, she posted a photo of the receipt on Reddit, sparking a firestorm. Applebee’s management swiftly responded—not by addressing the customer’s actions, but by firing Chelsea for allegedly violating company policy regarding privacy.

The question isn’t whether we can afford to make this shift. The question is, how can we afford not to?

The public outcry was immediate and overwhelming. The receipt became a symbol of religious bias and poor customer behavior, igniting debates that reached far beyond tipping etiquette. Applebee’s decision to side with the customer at the expense of its employee drew widespread criticism, tarnishing its reputation and sparking discussions about workplace ethics and employee protections in service industries.

Current Solutions Fall Short

In response to these challenges, companies have introduced various initiatives to address employee burnout and toxic customer behavior:

• Wellness programs for employees.

• Recognition initiatives to boost morale.

• Customer service training for handling difficult scenarios.

However, these measures often fail to address the root causes of the problem. You can’t empower customers at the expense of employees and then expect a psychologist to fix the damage.

The Root Problem: A Broken Mindset

I think that our culture, driven by self-interest and transactional thinking, has poisoned relationships between businesses, customers, and employees. We've normalized exploitation, focusing only on immediate needs while ignoring the long-term damage to our human connections.

"The 'customer is always right' mantra, once a tool to prioritize customer satisfaction, has been twisted into a weapon.

The rise of toxic consumer behavior is multifaceted and cannot be attributed solely to individual selfishness. Societal factors such as increasing economic pressures have heightened consumer expectations for value and service. Frustrating customer service processes and impersonal corporate practices have left many customers feeling undervalued and unheard.

The anonymity and reach of social media empower individuals to voice dissatisfaction instantly and broadly, sometimes without full consideration of the consequences.

Companies must adopt a new paradigm, one that values connection as the core product.

A New Economy of Connection

Here are some of the notions I have in mind:

1. From Transactions to Relationships

The days of transactional exchanges between companies and customers are over. We've entered an era where the true product isn't the goods or services—it's the connection. A retail store, website, or customer service hotline are merely stages for building relationships. Customers today don't just want products; they crave partnership and a sense of belonging. In this new economy, profit isn't the goal; it's the natural outcome of authentic, meaningful interactions that prioritize mutual respect and trust.

2. Companies as Value-Driven Ecosystems

When a company focuses solely on shareholder profits, it sends a clear message: money is the only value. This mindset infects employees, managers, and inevitably customers, creating a toxic cycle where everyone feels exploited. Some customers start thinking, “If I’m being used, I’ll take what I can get.” Organizational culture shapes behavior, and companies that prize only transactions breed exploitative relationships. The alternative? Embedding values of connection, respect, and fairness, cascading from leadership to every stakeholder.

3. Balancing Employee and Customer Interests

When profits rule, one side always pays the price: employees or customers. Leadership prioritizing short-term revenue often sacrifices employee well-being, favoring customers who generate immediate income. This short-sightedness erodes morale and service quality, ultimately damaging the bottom line. But employees are internal customers—treating both groups with equal respect creates a balanced ecosystem where everyone thrives. A thriving team delivers better service, fostering customer loyalty and driving sustainable growth.

4. Building Connection as the Core Value

What if the core value wasn't profit, but connection? Imagine prioritizing meaningful, warm relationships with every individual—whether they're employees or customers. Employees are your internal customers, after all. When connection becomes the central value, employees and customers become true partners in your vision. They recognize that your brand embodies these values. Customers who feel this genuine connection are far less likely to exploit the system because they respect it. Connection isn't just a value; it's a transformative shield against the toxicity of transactional relationships.

5. Sharing Stories of Connection

Stories inspire. Companies that highlight meaningful moments of connection create a ripple effect of trust and admiration. Imagine a heartfelt resolution to a customer complaint going viral—not because the company covered its tracks, but because the interaction embodied connection and respect. These stories become the company's calling card, a testament to its values, inspiring employees and customers alike to be part of something greater than a transaction.

6. Rating Customers: A Bold New Frontier

What if we rated customers, just as they rate us? Imagine a system where companies rate customers based on their behavior. Those who exploit businesses, threaten with negative reviews, or treat employees poorly would receive ratings that reflect their conduct. This isn't about revenge—it's about making connection always right. 

Just as customers evaluate companies, companies should hold customers accountable. A poor rating could discourage other businesses from serving exploitative customers, creating a fairer system where mutual respect becomes the norm. 

Companies could implement transparent criteria for ratings, provide customers with feedback and opportunities to improve, and ensure data is handled securely and ethically. By focusing on behavior rather than personal characteristics, the system promotes accountability while respecting individual rights.

What if the core value wasn’t profit, but connection? Employees and customers alike become true partners in your vision when they feel valued and respected. Connection isn’t just a value; it’s a transformative shield against the toxicity of transactional relationships.

This approach may be bold but I find it essential for resetting power dynamics and protecting connections as the desired outcome between employees and customers.

Connection is Always Right

This isn’t just a strategy; it’s a paradigm shift. Businesses have the power—and the responsibility—to lead the way in creating a world where connection trumps exploitation. It’s not easy. It requires rethinking everything from culture to strategy to customer relations. But the payoff is worth it: loyal employees, loyal customers, and a business that stands for something more than the bottom line.

The question isn’t whether we can afford to make this shift. 

The question is, how can we afford not to?