Depression is Different for Men and Women

I remember reading an article in the New York Post last year when I was doing some searching around for information related to exercise and mental health. It talked about the differences between men and women when it comes to the presentation of depression. It got me thinking that maybe the differences in presentation also require different methods of treatment and that maybe the current treatment approach is more appropriate for females. 

Before I go any further I should point out that this is my opinion and I am not a psychologist, nor am I trained extensively in therapies associated with depression. I also apologise if this sounds a lot like other articles that you might already have read, they are probably the ones I have based my opinion on.

I think the way depression shows up in men is often misunderstood. Anyone who has had a long-term partner of the opposite sex will know that men and women experience life differently, and it is very likely that their brains are wired different to each other. I once watched a comedy sketch on this that was very funny and poked fun at both men and women (Check it out here). So given that our brains are different it probably means depression manifests differently for each gender. Male depression often revolves around feelings of helplessness and a lack of control over their environment. Men want to make a lasting impact, to change their world in some way. They want to either stop their pain or make it feel meaningful (Adam Lane Smith, who is a psych in USA, said something along those lines).

Women tend to seek emotional validation, men are more focused on finding a solution to their problems. For women, depression often centres around feeling unloved or unimportant to the people they care about. Men, feeling powerless to change their circumstances is what often leads to deep depression.

An interesting article pointed out that the alarming rise in depression among Australian men is compounded by the fact that many men prefer talking to male therapists, not out of sexism, but because they tend to respond better to male professionals. Unfortunately, there’s a shortage of male therapists, which further hinders effective treatment. Around 70% of clinical psychologists in Australia are women, and most psychology graduates are also female. This gender imbalance in the mental health workforce means that therapy often doesn’t meet the unique needs of men.

Male depression is often treated with approaches designed for women, which can make men feel even worse.

Therapy often emphasises making men feel "loved and connected," but this approach can feel disconnected from their real struggles with powerlessness. For many men, receiving emotional support while still feeling unable to change their circumstances can actually intensify their sense of being a burden rather than providing relief.

I am an exercise physiologist so i can somewhat speak to the impacts of exercise. Men often respond well to activities that allow them to feel in control, empowered, and capable of making a tangible impact, such as exercise and setting big, achievable goals. The gym, in particular, offers a way for men to channel their energy, improve their physical health, and build a sense of accomplishment. Exercise can also provide a mental boost, helping to reduce stress and improve mood. For many men, having clear goals—whether it’s training for a competition, building strength, or reaching a fitness milestone—gives them something to work toward and a sense of purpose. This focus on physical achievement can be a powerful tool in managing depression, offering both a structured routine and a sense of personal progress that is often missing in more traditional therapeutic approaches.

A key factor contributing to the problem is that suicide rates among men increase with age, peaking in the 80+ age group. Older men, especially, are more likely to feel isolated, powerless, a burden, helpless, disconnected and a lack of control of their own life, which can deepen their depression and drive them to suicide.

This stark reality shows that the current mental health system in Australia isn’t sufficient to address the specific needs of men and the education being provided might be wrong. The psychological community needs to recognise that men experience mental health challenges differently from women. The traditional, one-size-fits-all approach isn’t working.

To truly help men, mental health care must focus on achieving tangible, meaningful results. It’s not just about emotional support—it’s about understanding the unique nature of male suffering and addressing it in a way that resonates with their needs. Only then can we start to make a real difference in reducing the suicide rates and improving the mental health of Australian men.