FALLING DOWN WHEN NETWORKING UP!

PRELUDE

Networking Up! Ever heard of it? Is it even a thing? It is, and the ‘Father of Modern Day Networking’ Ivan Misner, Ph.D, defined it as the strategic practice of deliberately interacting with, learning from, and contributing value to individuals who are more advanced in their careers or fields than we are. 

Me? I just call it establishing and maintaining higher-level connections. And frustrated by my own bumbling efforts to “Network Up!”, and my struggles to meaningfully apply the traditional networking tips to higher-level connections, I set out to learn more both from research and my network. 

I sent an online questionnaire to some colleagues asking five questions about Networking Up!, namely:

1. In your experience, what do most people get wrong when they “Network Up!”?

2. How can someone add value in a high-level networking relationship when they don’t have as much, or the same level of, experience or knowledge to offer the high-level connection?

3. Someone has your attention for 2 minutes; how can a lower-level connection make an impact and increase their chances of a networking connection with you?

4. When, or how often, do you think is appropriate to follow-up / check in to stay familiar with that next level contact, but not be annoying?

  And the obligatory…

5. Do you have any further thoughts you’d like to share?

THIS ARTICLE FOCUSES ON THE FIRST QUESTION …

In your experience, what do most people get wrong with they ‘Network Up!’?

The responses ranged from not knowing it was a thing to expansive and dedicated consideration to the idea, and for everyone who responded, I am thankful. But yes, Networking Up! is a thing and Ivan Misner shared his thoughts in the article: “How To 'Network Up' With Your Business Idols And Elevate Your Success” and that became the inspiration for this whole Networking Up! journey!

But what do my colleagues think? What do most people get wrong when they Network Up! Let’s find out together.

THE CATEGORIES OF ERRORS

Areas where people “go wrong”, per se, appear to fall into four categories: Preparation; Fear; Establishing a connection; and The ask.

In all honesty, as things people can get wrong in Networking Up!, I see ‘Preparation’ and ‘Fear’ as a chicken-and-egg scenario. Is your fear affecting your preparation? Or are you fearful or anxious because your preparation wasn’t on point? Either way, the two elements have come up pretty consistently throughout the respondents’ replies, so let’s explore them first.

Preparation

In the second article in this series ‘Networking: Building From The Ground-Up!’ we touched on the importance of preparation as a Networking basic, and it seems it applies to Networking Up! as well.

Fay Feeney, CSP, ARM, ASSPF, NACD.DC® CEO Risk for Good, starts us off with a solid baseline:  “We're all humans, so finding a common interest/area positions you on solid ground.” 

But Fay offered wise counsel when she added: “It is an important first step”, and I feel Dr. Steven Guillory, Quality and Risk Manager for the City of Houston, TX also highlighted the importance of preparation when he wrote: “Many people reach out without doing sufficient research on the individual they are trying to connect with—missing an opportunity to reference shared interests, past work, or mutual connections.” 

And just as Fay gave us a starting foundation, Steven offers: “A better approach involves showing informed curiosity. Come prepared with thoughtful questions or a sincere compliment about a specific project or idea the person has contributed to. Demonstrate that you see them as a human being with valuable insights—not just a title or a stepping stone.” 

And what better way to show respect and demonstrate modesty than by investing your time in advance into the relationship that is to follow.

Fear

But, and this is where I often go wrong, don’t confuse humility and modesty with subjugation or being less than the person you are talking to. That leads to fear: unnecessary fear it seems, according to the questionnaire’s respondents.

I know I really saw myself James Boretti, CEO's words when he wrote: “In my opinion and what I've experienced, people take the view that those looked up to in our profession have greater knowledge in that area, so they just consume what's being given. They feel like they will be perceived as not good enough or someone outside the circle of relevance.”

That’s me. Right there. Not good enough and an outsider. But that need not be the case and shouldn’t be the case, for it was a common thread throughout ALL who responded to this question … do not be afraid of approaching a person of interest.

Whether it was phrased as:

• “There are no celebrities in HSE, just incredible people doing incredible work”, per Tim Page-Bottorff, HSSE Senior Director / Senior Executive Advisor;

• “If you really want to engage with someone, don't be afraid to go talk to them (even if they are on the Mt. Rushmore of Safety)” per Wyatt Bradbury, Principal Health and Safety, Avetta and Adjunct Professor at University of Alabama, Birmingham;

Or

• The revelation (to me at least) that “the people we look up to crave the interaction and professional challenge to their areas of expertise as a way of learning and growing, and they love sharing their knowledge” courtesy of James Boretti, CEO …

… It seems a common downfall for people Networking Up! is that they don't approach the other person as an equal, or as Fay put it “They do not position themself as a peer to the person of interest.” I know I sure don’t sometimes, but that appears to be the place to start, even if it is easier said than done.

Or perhaps it is as Melissa Rohrer, Safety Supervisor at Entergy put it when she wrote: “I believe people are scared to approach higher-level leaders. Some don't know what to say to them or don't feel comfortable approaching them.” I mean, I know I can be lost for words if the meeting is impromptu, I mean, where would I even start. And when I am, that has been through sheer intimidation, (usually with a very heavy sprinkling of fan-girling). 

Thankfully Melissa also brings a solution to the table, reminding us that: …a simple hello, how are you doing, can break the ice.”

Afterall, yes Fay, we are all human! It’s just, as Tim says: “Those folks that may have collected a “higher level” started out somewhere”, as well. But if nothing else, I like Wyatt’s approach when he wrote: “Hint, they are probably there to network too!”

Networking Up! pressure valve released!!

Establishing A Connection

When considering establishing a connection, we are also being asked to identify and reflect upon what we are hoping to achieve. Before you begin Networking Up! consider asking yourself: What is your true ‘Why’ for this interaction? Because no doubt, it will come across, one way or another.

I’m going to lead with Scott DeBow, Director of HSE at Avetta’s offerings here when he writes: “... always good to give ourselves a gut-check from time to time. When wanting to network up, for example, I ask myself "Whose benefit is this for?" Humility is rooted in this approach. Think of it as driven from the 'art of humble inquiry'” 

And once you have checked in with yourself, maybe take a look at how you show up and behave within the interaction.

Steven shares with us: “One of the most common missteps people make when attempting to "Network Up" is treating the interaction as a performance rather than a conversation. Instead of establishing a genuine connection, they overly focus on impressing the other person—often through flattery, vague admiration, or rapid-fire self-promotion.”

And why is this important? Steven offers two insights:

1. “This approach can feel insincere and puts the other party in an uncomfortable position, as it turns a potential peer-level conversation into a hierarchy-driven exchange”; and 

2. “Establishing mutual respect and shared purpose, rather than hierarchy, tends to foster more meaningful and lasting professional relationships.”

So, we have done our research and preparation, we have gotten over our fear - well, put it to the side for a moment at least - and then we have established an authentic connection: Yay us! 

Now for the final part, and again, a very common theme when respondents were asked what they think most people get wrong when they Network Up! … The Ask. More specifically, actually having one, its characteristics, and the behaviour associated with it.

Having An Ask

When it comes to what people do wrong in Networking Up!, I think Jim Frederick, Principal, NEXUS HSE, LLC nailed it and offered us guidance all in one when he replied: “1 - they don't ask for help when looking up. Ask for help. If you ask for help a few times - my experience has been that you will receive an affirmative response more often than you expect. 2 - be specific with an ask(s) 3 - build a relationship as you progress through this process.” 

I feel ‘building a relationship as you go’ is in alignment with Steven’s comments quoted earlier, if we are to think of Networking Up! as a relationship-game and not a transactional register. But Jim’s words also show that you don’t have to have it all in place before you make the ask. 

Permission to make an ask? For some of us, yes. 

Relief or affirmation that their approach is ok? For many of us, probably.

A great segue into your responsibility when it comes to the ask? Absolutely!

Turning to Ron Gantt, VP EHS Beale Infrastructure Group, to lead the way on this one. Ron wrote: “...be patient and be mindful of your asks. It may take some time to get a response and you will be less likely to get a response if you are asking for a lot of stuff (e.g., read a long article or devote a long time to chatting).”

Multiple respondents also spoke to patience, calling out that the person you are Networking Up! to will also have a personal life, family, and other commitments, and we need to be mindful and respectful of that. 

So, by all means have an ask, but also have the perspective of the other person in your mind, and ensure your ask is of a reasonable size, it is specific, and it is wrapped up in the intention of establishing a genuine, mutually benefit, long-term connection.

I’ll close this section with Scott’s words; sage counsel for us all. Scott writes: “To me, there should be a purity within the request, which is especially important as many requests to connect to a higher level / authority are driven from a sales inquiry. This sales inquiry is sometimes money related, and sometimes driven from self-interest. 

“There's a rightful sensitivity to this from those that have been in leadership for some time. One can never go wrong with simple, clear and honest communications about why you are requesting to take someone's time, which would be my suggestion”

And what a wonderful suggestion that is.

Do you see yourself in any of these Networking Up! pitfalls? Perhaps you have read the thoughts of others and seen them as permission to let some old habits and thought patterns go. Or maybe you read this and checked boxes of successful Networking Up! performance along the way.

Whatever the take, this is the second step in the exploration of not only how the ‘Father of Modern Day Networking’ sees Networking Up!, but also how people I look up to, respect, and admire see it as well. 

In the next article we will tackle adding value in a next-level professional relationship; continuing the journey of learning from each other.

Many kind thanks go to all questionnaire respondents; I am grateful for you adding to the body of Networking knowledge I am building up and sharing through this series. But are more pearls of wisdom from these people to come, so until then, just remember: 

Every interaction is a step forward: Keep learning and keep connecting, one conversation at a time!

Thank you for sharing my learning journey.

 Cheers, Tanya