Feeling stressed? do something about it...

I’m John. I’m 37 years old and I decided that one of my goals for 2017 would be to write a piece for a blog/article on what has helped me combat stress and tension in both work and my personal life. I would say I’m a fairly ‘normal’ guy with a ‘normal’ day to day life with a job, working to pay the bills/mortgage just like everyone else.

Some techniques I have used are ones that you have probably come across before but I wanted to share with you the impact and power they had on me personally, so even if just one person can benefit or get a different perspective on what we all deal with daily, then it would be worth it.

I have worked for the same company for the last 18 years. I enjoy work and life but felt at times everything would just get a bit complicated and overwhelming. I recently came across mindfulness and some of the methods have genuinely helped me in both work and my personal life.  Some of the techniques are so simple that I just wanted to share with you some of my personal experiences. Here are my top five techniques which have had a positive impact on me and my life:

1.      Read a book at night not your phone:

I have never been much of a reader, the problem I had was that it was never a story but just words on a page.  Around three years ago I was struggling to sleep. I put it down to work having been in a performance driven position which left me overthinking work and unable to switch off. You could say that most nights my mind was left racing and thinking of things over and over.  

I decided that something needed to change so after reading many mindfulness and general blogs/books for advice, I swapped reading my phone before bed (checking emails/surfing the net/texting people/jotting down notes about work) to trying out detective novels. Recently I have enjoyed novels by the likes of Mo Hayder and Tania Carver.

I can’t say the screen on my phone lit up at night in a dark room kept me awake but the easy access that I could just check my work emails for the next day meant I couldn’t switch off. However swapping a phone with a book completely took this away and allowed me to stop thinking about my contacts/emails which helped to clear my mind, turn off, wind down and get a good night’s sleep.

2.      Running or exercise:

Like some people, I’ve not in the past been a massive fan of exercise but as we all know it’s difficult to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle unless you exercise. This certainly becomes even more important the older you get. I guess this has become even more apparent to me over the last few years as an increase in weight also meant that I started to snore, which then effected the sleep of my better half.

As I progressed within my work an age old saying sprang to mind ‘the more you get paid the harder you work’, I found my life getting quite cluttered by having to juggle more tasks, projects as well as having a personal life and therefore it was hard to see what was more important versus what needed to be done. At the same time, I discovered running. It’s hard to think that a 30+ year old man discovered running later on in life but it’s true. I then discovered the impact of running/exercise that gave me a release.

When I run or do similar exercises I find that once your breathing comes under control, which for me is around mile two to three, I am able to think more clearer and this allows me to put my most complex problems into perspective and apply these to my work and/or personal issues. This is also the time when I think of new solutions to those difficult problems and which starts to get me excited about taking these ideas/solutions forward which initially I thought to be too complex.

For me, it’s like a massive release in my mind which enables me to let go of the past, think about what I can do in the present and start to plan what I want to do in the future.  The other plus is it makes me fitter which I personally believe makes me more focused at work.

3.      Having a goal which you WANT to achieve:

We all set ourselves goals/resolutions but how often do we actually achieve them? I decided when I started this challenge that I would set myself goals over the next few years. This has given me real focus and has certainly helped me with my work to provide a vision for teams which gives us all something to work towards which I find really important. When I talk about goals, I don’t mean what you want to do in your career, more set goals you want to achieve in the short/long term in either work or pleasure so that you have something to aim towards.  I’m 37 and I still don’t know exactly where I want to be later on in life in my career but what I do know is that I love what I do and I earn enough money to enjoy life.

For example, last year I set some personal goals around my exercise. These weren’t overnight goals but within the year I completed my first triathlon, I signed up to a half marathon for 2016 and I wanted to raise some money for charity.

With regards to work goals, I set them around a new role I started at the beginning of 2016 which was to learn something new and put it into practice, share my story around my 18 year work life and ensure I support others to have an impact on their development or career.

All of the goals I set myself in 2016 I accomplished. This gave me a real sense of achievement and it also gave me something to work for and focus on for 2017. My goals to 2017 have differed slightly in what I plan to achieve. I’ve always been focused on my work but by setting myself own personal goals as well helps me to go above and beyond in my character.

You can always make time to achieve your goals and by doing so gives you an enormous sense of achievement, accomplishment, satisfaction and well-being. Go ahead, try it.

4.      Learn something new:

In the past 12 months starting a new position as a Learning & Development (L&D) professional promoting learning to others, I felt it really important to practice what I preach and learn something new myself so that I can talk with confidence to others about what it is I’m doing and the impact that is having.

When I learned something new I became excited around by the prospect of putting it into practice; 

My learning comes from CPD “Future of Learning” 2016 Qualification, Mindfulness Diploma from the Center of Excellence, Delivering Great Video by Nick Welch, Work Based Great Presentation Skills by Sarah Helm and Andy Scrase.

I have also taken upon myself to read and use motivational books as a point of reference in conversations and reflect on how those books relate to my learning and job role. Books which have helped me are:

Blanchard, K and Bowles, S. (2011), Raving Fans: A Revolutionary Approach to Customer Service, Harper, USA.

Johnson, Spencer The Present: The Secret to Enjoying Your Work And Life, Now! (New York, Doubleday, 2003)

Lundin, Stephen C., John Christensen and Harry Paul, with Philip Strand. Fish! Tales. Real-Life Stories to Help You Transform Your Workplace and Your Life. Hyperion, 2002

Blanchard, K and Bowles, S. Gung Ho! Turn On the People in Any Organization (with Sheldon Bowles, HarperCollins Business, 1998) ISBN

Jeffers, S. (2007), Feel the Fear and do it anyway: How to turn your fear and indecision into confidence and action.

By taking the time to learn about something (like confidence) has helped to improve my general knowledge and awareness and like the old saying goes “knowledge is power”. Power can then be turned into confidence.  

5.      Give something back:

At the start of 2016 I went to an L&D event where our head of department (Paul Morgan) did a presentation around the things he had done to support children in schools and how he had helped save a local sports hall which was the heart of his local community.

At the time he challenged us to give something back using a charity organisation Inspiring the Future. I decided to take up this challenge and went on to support two schools across the regions I was working in at the time: The Sandon School, Chelmsford and Sir John Leman High School, Norwich.

One school I supported a group of students by interviewing people who were considering leaving school at the end of their GCSE’s. I gave them a presentation/chatted with them on finding something they truly love doing as this will help them to be the best they can be when at work and helped prepare them for that very first job interview based on what is generally required and personal experience. The second, I did a ten minute presentation based around my work and talked through finding something you love doing and do it well.

At the end there was a low key job fayre where I introduced students to the technical part of our business; what we sell and the various products available with this. We were the most popular stand in the hall – we certainly engaged with the students which was thoroughly enjoyable and I hope/like to think that I’ve helped guide at least one of those students to figure out what they would like to do in the future and go on to do it well.

In 2016 I set myself a goal to raise money. I opted for the NSPCC as they had just created a brilliant working partnership with Telefonica O2 and decided to shave/wax off my facial and body. As you can imagine this was a very painful experience but on reflection is was totally worth it.

The purpose of this article was not to preach around what works and doesn’t work but to help you be more mindful in your life and explore different perspectives. This really works for me and I’m only too happy to share my experiences.

Good luck and achieve anything you want to