The "Good Person" Lie I Unravelled (And What It Cost Me)

What if your greatest strengths are brilliant survival mechanisms masking old wounds? A psychologist's raw reckoning with her own foundations... and how we truly rebuild. ✨

The Masterpiece Built on Fault Lines

For years, I wore my "generosity" like a badge of honour. The woman who gave freely, spent lavishly (on others!), travelled, built businesses, coached others to heights... Creative? Passionate? Wise? Oh, I thought so. I’d built this incredible, dynamic woman – the woman I needed growing up.

Then came the seismic shift. The ground cracked open, not beneath my feet, but within my foundation.

I realised: My entire character was an ingenious, imaginative fortress constructed on the bedrock of trauma. My coping mechanisms? So damn effective, I’d mistaken them for virtues.

Take my money story (oh, the irony for a strategist!):

• The Coping Mechanism Disguised as Virtue: "I'm just so generous! Look how I support others!" 💸
• The Traumatised Reality: "Money near me = Danger! Spend it! Gift it! Get it away! Safety lies in emptiness." 🏃♀️💨
• The Brutal Consequence: A life of exhilarating feast and terrifying famine. Believing I was "good" while confirming a core wound: "I am not a safe container for abundance."

Ouch. Wise? Maybe intellectually. But my nervous system was running an ancient, terrified playbook. My "passion" for giving? Often a frantic energy to outrun the fear. My "imagination"? Brilliantly justifying the chaos as "living fully."

😂 Turns out, my financial strategy resembled a squirrel on espresso – frantic burying of nuts, immediately followed by forgetting where they were buried and declaring bankruptcy. Not exactly Warren Buffett.

The Liberating (and Uncomfortable) Truth Bomb

The woman I built saved me. She was a masterpiece of survival, forged in fires I didn't control. And I honour her fiercely for that. But clinging to those survival blueprints when the war is over? That keeps us trapped in cycles that look like success but feel like walking on tectonic plates.

My breakthrough wasn't about blame, but awareness:

1. Identify the Brilliant Disguise: What "strength" or "virtue" might be masking an old fear? (Rescuer? Perfectionist? People-Pleaser-in-Chief? The Relentless Hustler?)
2. Acknowledge the Wound Beneath: "I'm not safe." "I must earn love." "I am too much/not enough." What's your foundation whispering?
3. Compassion for the Builder: That coping mechanism was GENIUS. Thank it. Then gently ask: "Does this brilliant strategy still serve the woman I am becoming, or is it holding her hostage to the past?"

Rebuilding with Choice, Not Default

This is where the real creativity, wisdom, passion, and imagination ignite! 🔥 It’s not about tearing down the old fortress, but consciously redesigning the foundation.

• From: "Spend money to feel safe (by making it disappear)" To: "My presence is safe. My bank account is a sacred vessel for my energy and security." (Hello, mindful budgeting!).
• From: "Give endlessly to prove worth" To: "My worth is inherent. True generosity flows from an overflowing cup, not an empty well." (Boundaries = self-love).
• From: Chaos as "passion" To: Passion fueled by authentic desire, not survival adrenaline.

😂 Think of it like upgrading from a leaky rowboat held together by duct tape and hope to… well, maybe not a superyacht yet, but definitely a sturdy, sea-worthy vessel with a functional compass. Progress, not perfection!

Your Turn: Where Are Your Brilliant Disguises Hiding?

Are you ready to audit your own "good person" credentials? To explore the bedrock beneath your achievements? To transform survival brilliance into authentic, sustainable thriving?

I’m fiercely passionate about guiding women through this exact excavation and redesign. Because building a life on chosen values, not inherited trauma, is the ultimate freedom.

Here’s how we can start together:

1. ✨ Join My FREE Mentorship: I’m opening spaces for 100 women for a powerful, focused session. We’ll crack open your fear to getting your vision from 'one day' to 'day one'. Spots are limited!
2. 🚀 Deep Dive: Rebuild Your Core Operating System (2-Day Workshop): Ready for the full blueprint? This immersive experience is for women committed to dismantling the survival architecture and building a foundation of genuine security, worth, and purpose. We blend psychology, somatic awareness, and practical strategy.

Let’s get imaginative. Let’s get wise. Let’s channel our creative fire not just to survive, but to thrive on foundations we consciously choose. The soil is fertile. Let's plant something magnificent.

What brilliant disguise are you ready to gently unmask?