The Great Wellbeing Con; Orange Juice is the Answer

I hate to think how much money I have spent, or rather wasted, over the years as the marketing person's ideal sucker in my pursuit of wellbeing. Jeez, where do I even begin with this confessional?

There were the expensive supplements that lined my kitchen cupboard like tiny soldiers of hope – each bottle promising renewed energy, improved adrenal function, better sleep, a transformed life. Yet there they sat, gradually going past their sell-by date whilst I rushed out of the house every morning to earn a living to support my family whilst my ex laid in bed. The irony Is not lost on me that I was too stressed and busy to take the supplements designed to make me less stressed and busy.

Then came the magical aromatherapy massage that would bring my stress levels down and recalibrate my cortisol. Ninety minutes of blissful escape where I could finally breathe, where the knots in my shoulders might actually release, where peace felt possible and I dribbled on the pillow .. Until I switched my phone back on after the treatment had ended and reality came crashing back in with seventeen missed calls, forty-three unread messages, and the overwhelming reminder that nothing had actually changed in my world, or with my wellbeing. The stress wasn't stored in my muscles – it was woven into the very fabric of the life I was living at that time.

Even this gorgeous wellbeing organiser that I was "sold" – because apparently I just needed some structure, some order, something else to waste my money on – didn't really help, despite the strong marketing message that convinced me it would be different this time. The attractive cover that drew me in and the promise of transformation sat on my bookshelf through 3 house moves now, its empty pages where I had run out of the energy I needed to actually fill it in … mocking me with their emptiness whilst my life continued to feel anything but organised.

The pattern was always the same: the seductive marketing message, the moment of hope, the "exchange of energy" (as one particular practitioner called taking my money), and then the inevitable disappointment when the quick fix failed to fix anything at all.

It took me a long time to realise that my recovery from that place needed to come from the inside out, not the outside in. That actually my self-care was more to do with me as a human BEING than a human DOING. This was a revelation that no amount of lavender oil or green tea could have taught me – however “pure” it was and if I was going to feel any better, I'd need to spend money and time on the inside out work.

The wellness industry has us convinced that healing comes in packages we can purchase, that transformation arrives via Amazon Prime, that we're always just one product away from the life we want. We're sold the idea that if we just apply buy the right things, follow the right routines, drink the right smoothies, our problems will disappear like the steam from the sauna you had high hopes for! It's all about the "stuff" rather than the inner work - and that's what actually brings about meaningful change. 

And that is what I've learned: buying stuff with promises of what it can DO is no good unless you can do the work that helps you BE. You cannot purchase peace of mind. You cannot Amazon your way to authentic happiness. But with help and guidance you can do the radical self-care that is all about getting to the root of the issue. 

I'm not against all the herbal tea and scented candles and luxury bubble baths, not at all. These things can be lovely additions to a life that's already grounded in something real. But I am very much in favour of working inside out not outside in, really getting to the root of where the issue lies – hence my belief in radical self-care. Instead of avoiding it with another purchase or practice or poor decision made in a moment of exhaustion, we have to lean into the real work if we actually want to see meaningful change.

The real work – the uncomfortable, unglamorous, can't-be-packaged-and-sold work – happens in the quiet moments when we stop doing and start being. When we stop searching for external solutions and start asking internal questions. When we get honest about what's actually driving our stress, our exhaustion, our constant need to find the next thing that will save us.

It's about dusting off our values – those fundamental truths about what matters to us – and using them as a compass instead of letting marketing messages navigate our choices. It's about creating boundaries that actually protect our energy rather than just talking about protecting our energy whilst saying yes to everything. It's about recognising that we are not broken things in need of fixing, but whole humans who sometimes need reminding of our own wisdom. Women who deserve more than the life we are currently living – and yes, I was the woman who carried that man for many years and believed him when he said I couldn’t survive without him! Try me Sunshine!

And talking of sunshine, take the latest stress busting sensation -  the "cortisol cocktail" that's supposedly going to fix all our stress with nothing more than "the purest orange juice, coconut water and a pinch of sea salt." The citrusy drink may well sound attractive, but if all it took to heal our collective overwhelm was a fancy smoothie, don't you think we'd have figured that out by now? If we could fix the world with fruit juice and good intentions, wouldn't we be busy doing just that? Orange juice of the purest form would be in high demand! (Maybe it is if you are trying the daily cocktail!)

The truth is messier and less marketable: real wellbeing requires us to look at why we're stressed in the first place. It asks us to examine our relationships, our boundaries, our beliefs about our own worth. It demands that we stop running long enough to feel what we're actually feeling, noticing what we really need deep down and recognising that we are being dragged down by the water that we are swimming in, the people we are hanging out with maybe?  It requires the radical act of being present to our own lives instead of constantly trying to fix stuff from the outside in, not the inside out.

This doesn't mean we have to suffer or that seeking support is wrong. It means being discerning about where we invest our energy and resources. It means asking whether this thing we're about to buy is addressing the root or just masking the symptoms. It means getting honest about whether we're moving towards genuine healing or just accumulating more beautiful distractions. Are we piling more on top instead of tackling what is actually underneath? I knew I was doing that – I knew that no amount of faux self-care would fix the life I was living but I was too scared and too much into the coercive manipulation that eroded my self-esteem that I stayed put and just kept on swimming.

Real self-care isn't always Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it looks like having difficult conversations. Sometimes it's saying no when everyone expects yes. Sometimes it's choosing rest when the world demands productivity. Sometimes it's admitting that the problem isn't our morning routine – it's our relationship with ourselves, and maybe with others too.

It may be that we are going home at night from a job that frustrates us, in an organisation where our values are not aligned, working with and for people who don’t respect us – but hey, it pays the bills and the hours fit around the kids or the carenting or the childcare for the grandchildren ..

The most radical thing we can do in a culture that profits from our dissatisfaction is to stop buying products that feed into the idea that we're not enough as we are. To recognise that the peace we're seeking can't be purchased because it was never missing in the first place – just buried under layers of messaging that told us otherwise.

So this #selfcaresunday, I'd encourage you to resist the doing and think about the being. What is at the root of it all that if you knew a successful outcome was guaranteed, you would address? What's the pressure that is holding you back? What's the reality that you are avoiding? Where does your internal compass point you? 

If you are ready to do the outside in work and want some structure, support and a group to cheer you on, we have 4 places left on the Midlife Reboot for Wiped Out Women programme which starts on Wednesday 25th June 2025 at 7pm. Online so you don’t need to leave the house or even wear a bra! All good, right?

Take REAL care x