Heading to college this year? Three lessons from this working mom to my incoming freshman – and others

Summer is a heartwarming time to be a parent to college-age children. The season starts with graduation celebrations, and it ends with sending our children off into the next phase of their lives. This summer has been a particularly memorable one for me as our family celebrated my second child’s high school graduation and prepared to send him to college.

Beginning a new chapter is always exciting, but as a mother, I also know it may be nerve-racking and confusing for my son, and for all the soon-to-be college freshmen out there, as their environments and expectations shift all at once. Some things won’t go their way – and that’s perfectly all right, as long as they’re willing to learn from their experience.

In honor of my son and the incoming class of 2023, I’d like to share three pieces of advice to help students make the most of the next four years.

1.      Diversify your relationships: Relationships are usually easy to build with people who look and sound like you, or enjoy the same things. But the beauty of college is that not everyone will be from the same town, state or even country. You’ll meet people from all corners of the globe, and each one of these people will have something to teach you. I like the saying “a simple hello can lead to a million things,” because there is truly no other way to meet new people and diversify your circles than to open up to others. Keep an open mind as you get to know others – you may learn more about yourself in the process.

2.      Get comfortable with the uncomfortable: Your next four years are going to be full of surprises. The key to overcoming each challenge is to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Every obstacle you face is an opportunity for you to grow, be innovative and to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Whether it’s a new class or a new dorm, anything that makes you uncomfortable at first is also an opportunity for something new – perhaps a new academic interest or group of friends. As Maya Angelou said, “if you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Take risks, embrace uncertainty and remember that everything is temporary. 

3.      Think a lot about your purpose and passions: Until now, school seemed to have one overarching purpose: get into college. From getting the right grades to excelling in sports and joining extracurriculars, college was the north star for many students. Now that you’re in college, the new north star is to get a job. I caution incoming freshmen not to take this goal too seriously just yet. Before you make any major decisions, take the time to learn about yourself and discover your passions. Find what brings you joy every day, and let that joy propel you to your purpose. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. … This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

So to my son and to all the incoming freshmen out there: wherever your next phase of life takes you, approach it with an open mind and the courage to tackle the unknown. Doing so will lead you to your destiny.

And one last thing – don’t forget to call your mother!