How Employers Can Support Employees Undergoing IVF

When my husband and I started trying to have children almost three years ago, I remember feeling confident that my employer would support me as I transitioned into motherhood. What I didn’t consider was if I would need support before having a baby; I needed help getting pregnant. 

I, along with countless others, am a working professional who has experienced infertility. With around one in six couples seeking treatment, infertility is a major aspect of family-planning that is often overlooked. I believe fertility support is lacking because infertility is deeply personal and often stigmatized. Also unless you’ve experienced infertility, it’s hard to understand the grief, pain and uncertainty it brings. According to The New York Times’ “The Lasting Trauma of Infertility'' written by Regina Townsend,  “Research has shown that women dealing with infertility have depression and anxiety levels similar to those with cancer, H.I.V. and heart disease.” Infertility is not only physically and emotionally demanding, it adds incredible amounts of stress to professionals who are already stretched thin. Employers have an incredible opportunity to support their teams during this incredibly difficult time. So, what could support look like?  

Make Your Family-Planning Policies More Inclusive 

Families are created in many ways. Consider adding fertility support (and adoption for that matter) to your family policies so no matter how your employers begin their family journey, they feel included. I am encouraging my current employer to offer a family planning stipend with additional PTO. What this actually looks like for your organization may differ depending on size, financial factors, etc. but at least discuss this among your leadership and embrace this as part of your culture.  

Educate Yourself 

Infertility treatments, such as IVF, are complicated. It’s like wandering in the dark with a small light that only illuminates the immediate next step. This experience was made harder because most people don’t really understand how these treatments work or what assisted reproductive technology looks like. As you explore adding “Fertility Support” to your policies, take time to research the various treatment options available to parents. This way you can ask intentional, educated questions if/when one of your employees reaches out. This takes the burden off your employee having to explain the basics, which I guarantee they’ve already had to do multiple times with family and/or friends.  

Be Flexible 

IVF can be like having a second job. It is not uncommon to have several appointments a week, most of which are only scheduled the day before. And because the body dictates when these appointments are, it is impossible to reschedule or work around them in advance. Trust that if your employee can manage IVF, they can absolutely manage their work deadlines. I’ve taken conference calls in the parking lot outside of my clinic, picked up prescriptions over lunch, and wrapped up emails while waiting for blood work. Encouraging employees to work remotely on appointment days is huge. Also, on days before and after procedures, be the one that suggests they take a physical/mental health/recovery day(s). 

Create Space For Dialogue/Sharing 

The grief, sadness and uncertainty of infertility cannot be expressed in words. It is truly a lived experience. Creating an environment where your staff can talk about their challenges, wins, feelings or next steps can be helpful. Understand that even though they may share initial details about their infertility, they may not be open to sharing all the details. Create space for dialogue or graciously respect their silence. 

Be Patient 

Infertility is not a sprint. It’s a marathon without a clear finish line. By the time couples even seek fertility support, they’ve most likely already been trying for over a year. Infertility can take many twists and turns with treatments that last weeks, months, even years. Most of the time, you’re not even sure when your next appointment will be let alone how long the process will take. Avoid comments that attempt to put timing parameters around infertility, such as “When IVF is off your plate” or “When you’re pregnant, we will…” This only sets an expectation that’s impossible for them to meet. 

Overall there are many ways for employers to support their staff during family planning challenges. I would encourage any leader to at least educate themself on the various options within assisted reproductive technology. From there, start challenging the rest of your leadership teams to do the same.