How to Have a Tough Talk

I have worked with many executives for years. They ALL hate having tough talks. Why?

They think the conversation will blow up the relationship.

They think it will be embarrassing.

They think it won't work.

WRONG.

Putting off the conversation only worsens the situation. The problem will not evaporate, but intensify. Here's a story about the impact of not having a tough talk.

A CEO invited his new COO into a meeting. During the meeting, the new COO kept checking his watch, which pissed off the CEO, who retaliated every day until the COO left over a year later. It was a very, very difficult time for everyone involved. Several years later, it was revealed that the COO was checking his watch because his brother had been scheduled for brain surgery right before the CEO started their meeting. The COO checked his watch to discuss the operation with the doctor afterward.

The CEO could have easily had an on-the-spot tough talk and said, "Hey, I notice that you're checking your watch a lot, and it's upsetting to me. What's up? And when the situation was explained, none of the retaliation that took place after would have happened.

Crazy stuff. But it happens all the time.

Studies at Harvard and other research institutions have studied this universal problem. I have created a template that I use to teach execs and others how to have Tough Talks. Here it is. Give it a try. It works.

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