The Hula Hoop Method: Creating Your Circle of Positivity in a Challenging Workplace

In my decades of coaching professionals on etiquette and executive presence, I've observed that maintaining a positive mindset isn't just about personal affirmations—it's about skillfully managing the energy and attitudes that surround you daily. This is particularly true in today's evolving workplace, where negativity and toxicity can spread rapidly through both physical and virtual environments.

One of the most powerful concepts I share with my clients is what I call the "Hula Hoop Method." Picture yourself standing inside an invisible hula hoop that represents your circle of control. Within this circle lies everything you can directly influence: your reactions, your words, your focus, and your energy. Outside the hoop? The countless elements beyond your control, including other people's attitudes, complaints, and negativity.

This visual framework becomes transformative when navigating professional relationships. It doesn't mean building walls of indifference—rather, it helps you maintain compassionate boundaries that protect your positive mindset while allowing you to respond with grace.

As we move further into 2025, with workplaces continuing to blend virtual and in-person interactions, protecting your mental environment has become more crucial than ever. Here are seven strategies for applying the Hula Hoop Method when facing workplace negativity:

1. Practice Mindful Engagement

When approached with complaints or gossip, pause before responding. This brief moment allows you to choose whether to step into that negative energy or redirect it. Whenever you’re around a difficult person, don’t be afraid to speak up and share a thoughtful response like, "That’s an interesting observation. I really can’t comment on that at this time." Negativity breeds negativity so it’s best not to allow others to drag you into the trenches. 

2. Create Energy Transitions

Develop personal rituals that help you reset your mindset after engaging with negative individuals. Whether it's a moment of deep breathing, a brief walk, or even mentally visualizing yourself cleaning your energy field, these transitions prevent negativity from lingering in your mental space.

3. Deploy Strategic Empathy

Empathy doesn't mean absorbing others' negative emotions. Instead, practice what I call "strategic empathy"—understanding someone's perspective without taking on their emotional state. Phrases like "I can’t imagine how frustrating this might be for you" acknowledge feelings without adopting them as your own.

4. Establish Communication Boundaries

In our perpetually connected workplaces, boundaries have never been more important. Clearly define when and how colleagues can approach you with concerns. For chronic complainers, consider scheduling specific check-ins rather than allowing constant interruptions that disrupt your focus and energy. Encourage your team to come up with possible solutions whenever they have a complaint or concern. 

5. Cultivate Positivity Allies

Intentionally build relationships with colleagues who maintain positive, solution-oriented mindsets. These connections serve as emotional anchors during challenging times. In the coming years, as workplace dynamics continue evolving, these alliances will become increasingly valuable professional assets.

6. Redirect Through Questions

When faced with a negative spiral, use targeted questions to guide the conversation: "What would an ideal outcome look like?" or "What's one small step we could take toward improvement?" This technique acknowledges the issue while maintaining your position within your circle of control.

7. Embrace Selective Disengagement

Sometimes, the most gracious response is creating distance. If a conversation is deteriorating into unproductive negativity, politely disengage: "I appreciate you sharing your concerns. I need some time to process your concern, so let's set a date to connect at the end of the week to discuss potential solutions." This “cooling-down period” maintains professional courtesy while protecting your mental environment.

By practicing the Hula Hoop method, you consciously define and protect your circle of control and preserve the energy and focus needed to bring your best self to each interaction.

Jacqueline Whitmore, CSP, is a business etiquette expert, certified speaking professional, and founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach in Palm Beach, Fla. She is the author of Poised for Success: Mastering the Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals and Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work. For information on seminars or keynotes, visit https://etiquetteexpert.com/ or email info@etiquetteexpert.com.