The Illusion of Balance

I recently laughed to myself when someone asked, “Sapi, how do you manage to do a million things and make it look so easy?” Because, honestly, balance is an illusion.

Over the years, I’ve spoken with countless amazing, strong women—friends, clients, family, and guests on my platforms—and one theme is clear: the myth of work-life balance. You can have it all... just not all at once. What truly sustains us isn’t perfection, but the ability to prioritise, stay present, and most importantly, lean into a reliable support system.

Women Are the Backbone—But We Also Need Support

As women, especially in African contexts, we are often the backbone of everyone else’s lives—holding families together, leading in business, nurturing relationships, showing up for our communities. And yet, many of us can tend to feel guilty at the mere thought of needing help. But here’s the truth: we cannot pour from an empty cup.

Creating safe systems that support us isn’t selfish—it’s essential. We must normalise outsourcing, asking for help, and prioritising our needs without shame. Support isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength. And the more supported we are, the more fully we can show up where it matters most.

The Myth of Perfect Balance

It’s tempting to believe that perfect balance exists—where you’re winning at work, parenting flawlessly, showing up on every Zoom with glowing skin, and posting polished content daily. But that’s a fantasy. Instead of chasing perfection, what matters is quality over constant availability.

I’ve learned this from powerful voices like Indra Nooyi, former PepsiCo CEO, who said (and I’m paraphrasing): rather than aiming for the impossible standard of balance, focus on what needs your attention in the moment. That’s a more sustainable and mentally healthy entrepreneur mindset. She leaned into her family structure and her PA at work.

Practical Support Systems in Action

At our first Inspire Summit in 2024  Janet Manyowa shared such grounded wisdom. Because she’s clear about her gift and intentional about nurturing it, she built systems to support it. To avoid the daily "What's for dinner?" cycle, her house help follows a weekly cooking plan. A simple, thoughtful system that preserves her mental space.

For others, it may look different. Some are lucky to have close-knit families—mothers, siblings, an engaged spouse, or even aunties and grandmothers stepping in with childcare and emotional support. For me, that circle includes my mother, my sisters and close circle of  friends, partnerships created over years  who  help run my home and life behind the scenes.

Every female entrepreneur I know who’s thriving doesn’t do it alone. We all lean on collaborative ecosystems—freelancers, media partners, strategy collaborators, even former clients. Tapping into your network and building with intention is how we create impact without burning out.

Presence Over Perfection

Being present is not about being perfect. Janet also shared that when she’s with her children, she makes that time count. There’s pressure sometimes to create grand moments—but it doesn’t need to be a curated Instagram reel. It’s in the little things: reading together, sharing a laugh, walking barefoot in the yard.

For me, presence means silencing my notifications, closing my laptop, and choosing to be fully with the person or task in front of me. It’s not about how many hours you spend—it’s about how fully you show up. That kind of mindful presence creates connection, both at home and at work.

Cultivating Internal Balance

While the world glorifies external balance—juggling deadlines, goals, and household logistics—what truly sustains us is internal balance. That deep center of clarity, calm, and self-trust.

Some mornings, I pause and ask: Am I aligned with my purpose today? Am I reacting, or responding? That stillness gives me clarity. It helps me focus on what truly matters and say no to what doesn’t. When your internal world is balanced—even if the external feels chaotic—you make better decisions and move with grace.

Creating Your Own Systems

Here are some ways to build systems that support you without guilt or apology:

1. Prioritise ruthlessly. Map out your week—what truly needs your energy, and what can wait or be handed off?
2. Design simple systems. Use tools like shared calendars, content batching, meal planning, or A.I-powered workflows.
3. Build your support system. Hire help where possible. Nurture family bonds. Build a circle of peers who "get it."
4. Lean into collaborations. Teamwork isn’t just strategic—it’s sustainable. Share resources, goals, and energy.
5. Vet your inputs. Say no to what drains you. Limit low-value meetings and social pressure.
6. Protect internal balance. Journal, meditate, pray, walk—do what helps you stay grounded. A calm mind makes clearer choices.

From Illusion to Intention

Balance is an illusion—but effectiveness is real. We don’t need to be everywhere, for everyone, all the time. What we need is a strong support system, clear boundaries, simple systems, and the permission to show up for ourselves without guilt. Because when we give ourselves that grace, we reclaim our energy. And with that energy, we build—businesses, legacies, and lives we’re proud of.

So, if someone asks how you manage to do a million things and make it look easy? Remind them: it’s not ease, it’s collective strength.