It’s happening – the Everything Has Changed podcast is ready to go!

We are nearly ready to share the podcast and in the words of Vinnie Jones, "It’s been emotional."*

Yes, after months of reading and listening and discussing, we’re launching the first episode in April. 

It’s quite something to have made it to this point. But this has never been ‘just’ about a podcast, of course – it goes deeper than that.

As friends for almost three decades (where has the time gone?), we have already been through lots of life’s ups and downs together. But when we each lost a parent at the same time, our connection became a core part of how we tried to navigate our losses and grief. We know we were very fortunate in a very unfortunate time to have our friendship; even with the Irish Sea between us we supported each other. We shared both the huge, heavy emotional stuff and the practical and mundane – whichever it was, we walked and talked till our phone batteries ran out.

*bonus point if you can name the film

Why are we doing the podcast?

The podcast idea came about as a way for us to extend a little friendship to other people. We wanted to share what we’d learnt, in the hope that others might be able to benefit from it, that we could help make it even a tiny bit easier for someone else going through what we went through. During our many hours of chats, we have found ourselves saying over and over again, “If only we knew THAT at the time” – and ‘THAT’ is what we’ll be sharing with you on the podcast.

Even the name ‘Everything Has Changed’ emerged from one of our conversations. It was a bit of an ‘A-ha!’ moment; we were trying to describe the enormity of the whole situation, how life changes so fundamentally after a profound and significant loss, and realised this sums up what we’re trying to unpick in our podcast conversations. And our tagline, ‘A weirdly uplifting podcast’ is such an important aspect of it for us: we are going to be covering some difficult and emotional topics, but we really believe that by talking about them and ‘normalising’ them, it is possible – sometimes – to feel uplifted. We have found ourselves laughing at so many points during our journeys both with grief and in making this podcast.

Who will we be talking to?

We knew from the start that we wanted to invite people with way more knowledge and experience than us onto the pod to help share insights, support, comfort and practical advice. This was never to be an extended therapy session for us. We have been very humbled by the people who have generously agreed to chat to us so far about the many different aspects of grief and loss, including palliative care doctor Kathryn Mannix, Sal & Im from the Good Mourning podcast, Grief Investigator Lizzie Pickering, and neuroscientist Prof. Mary Frances O’Connor. We’re also planning episodes with TV and radio personality Gus Worland, author and psychologist Niamh Fitzpatrick, Peter Houston, media commentator and writer for the funeral industry, death doulas and celebrants, and the wonderful women behind Death Positive Libraries.

We’ve already discovered so much from these conversations – every single one has been so enlightening and insightful, and has given us so much to think about. Perhaps most importantly, we’ve found it so encouraging and comforting to know how many people are doing such valuable work to help us all deal with our different and very personal experiences of grief. 

What to expect

Each episode, we’ll be talking in-depth with these wise and knowledgeable people about various aspects of death, grief and loss. But we know first-hand that at certain points in your grief, listening to or taking in an episode might be too much – so each time, we’ll be putting together a shorter ‘bite-size’ episode, in the hope this makes it a bit easier to get straight to the key messages and helpful suggestions our guests have offered.

A recurring theme that’s come out of many of our discussions is that whatever you thought you knew about grief and loss turns on its head the moment you're in it. That moment when everything changes and you’re so disorientated you don’t know what to do next. This might be something you are feeling right now. We hope that with this podcast, you’ll have a place or a space to start navigating some of that…and maybe feel ‘weirdly uplifted’ along the way.

Heather and Hilary x

Resources just for you

This month's recommended books, podcasts and films.

What we've been reading, watching and listening to

When Grief Equals Love, by Lizzie Pickering

"Grief and loss are inevitable. But living with grief can still be living."

Lizzie Pickering is a prolific speaker on the subject of grief. Her son Harry died in 2000, and since then, she has been on an exploration of grief and how to survive it. In this book – which resonated so deeply with both of us – she talks about her own experiences, bravely centring her book around her own diary extracts that she wrote at the time, written to share with her then-young surviving children so that they might understand their grief as they grew into adulthood. Lizzie’s insights and reflections on the process, myths and inevitability of grief are based on her lived experience, as well as interviews with bereaved friends and guidance she gives in 1-to-1 sessions, she also provides a toolkit to help you navigate the path yourself. It's honest, it's comforting, and it helps.

In wonderful news, we are absolutely delighted that Lizzie has agreed to be a guest on the Everything Has Changed podcast. We very much support her belief that talking about grief doesn't have to be depressing, and we can't wait to share her wisdom with you. Lizzie’s conversation will be released later this year.

Carry Him Shoulder High

Everyone we’ve spoken to has their own story about why they feel it important to add to the conversation about death and grief. Each of these stories is as unique as the individual telling it, and it’s in this rich and varied collection of life experiences that we hope listeners might find a glimmer of recognition, comfort and solidarity. The power of stories is something writer and Grand Slam-winning storyteller Mary Kate O’Flanagan harnesses spectacularly in her work. Her account of how she and sisters negotiated their father’s passing captures so eloquently the surprising and unexpected ways the events unfold.

The Good Place

Speaking of weirdly uplifting... 

The Good Place is a must-watch if you love quirky comedy, but it's surprisingly good at handling issues like death, morality and the afterlife. 

In the show, Eleanor Shellstrop dies, and due to an admin error, finds herself in the 'Good Place' (as opposed to the 'Bad Place'). The story follows her trying to hide her questionable past while navigating all sorts of ethical dilemmas. 

It's philosophical, it's strangely comforting, and it's very funny.