"Karmic Crusader" : The chapter that I almost never wrote.

When I signed my deal with Wiley to publish the first book I would ever write, the terms stated that I owed them 60,000 words

To give you a sense of what that looks like, in book form, it’s about 240 pages.

As I poured my heart and soul into what this book would become, I had fits and starts. There were days when I felt like getting 100 words onto the page was excruciating. And there were other days where 4,000 words poured out of me in one sitting.

It was a true lesson and exercise in releasing control.

While I had a general idea of how many words I needed to pen each day in order to meet my deadline, life didn’t life that way.

I couldn't force my creative process.

I couldn’t will my stories to take shape without their willing consent

I couldn’t project manage myself along an unknown path

Two weeks from my deadline, I had written 60,000 words. And yet, I still had four chapters to write—according to the outline of my proposal. As the first-time author, I didn’t know what to do. So I reached out to my Editor and asked for direction.

• Do I keep what I have and let go of the chapters that aren’t yet written?

• Do I go back and start cutting to ensure that the chapters I said I’d write exist?

• Do I keep going and just see where things end up?

She told me that I could go over that 60,000 word mark—to, say, 65,000 words—but to please not give them something like 80,000 words.

I spent the next two weeks writing and editing myself; cutting out and adding in; removing and producing.

And as February 1st, my manuscript deadline day arrived, I was stuck at 71,000 words.

Removing anything I wrote at this point felt like I was cutting off a limb from my body.

So, I said fuck it. This is their problem now.

Five years earlier, I never would have dreamt of not following the rules, of not doing exactly what I was told, of not being a “good girl.”

But writing this book has changed me.

So, do you want to know what happened next?

I’ll tell you.

Read the full story here:

xoxo,

Erin